Brindle, In Memoriam

Sometimes the significant people we lose in our lives are cats. A number of years ago and a few weeks after my first cat "Merton the Tom" had to be put down, the vet brought over another cat that had been left on the hospital's door step about the time Merton died. It wasn't until a couple of months later that we discovered why "Brindle" had been abandoned --- she had a seizure disorder. Those of you who read this blog regularly know that I have struggled with a medically and surgically intractable seizure disorder, so the irony of inheriting a cat with epilepsy was not lost on me or any of my friends.

Still, her seizures were infrequent, usually minor, and didn't seem to get in her way. She prayed with me (well, she was with me when I prayed anyway), lay nearby as I studied or wrote (she learned to position her forearms on the corner of my computer away from the keys and usually had a paw on one of my typing hands), spent time with me in my patio in the sun or the shade while I read or prayed, chased anything I dangled or pulled around in front of her (shoelaces were her favorite thing) and, like all cats, slept a lot! She always knew when I was not feeling well, and usually crawled up next to me and placed her paw on my chin when that was true. (Otherwise she would crawl up on my chest and place her chin near mine.)

Friday night Brindle had a minor seizure, the second in about a month. She had stayed very close to me all evening before that. After the seizure, she recovered, walked about, ate and drank some, but her resting rate of respiration remained high. Soon thereafter she simply died. Whatever the cause, it seemed her heart just stopped. She was wonderful and loving with a terrific personality and I will miss her.

Post Script: My sincerest thanks to Aggie and John Malanca for their help in burying Brindle. Aggie provided the space under one of the plum trees in her back yard, flowers for the grave, and even a small ceramic cat for a headstone. He son John dug a grave in spite of the heat this afternoon, and allowed me to cry on his shoulder --- literally. I have never had a "big brother" and I am certainly older than John, but today it felt like I had a big brother for the first time in my life. It was hard to tell which touched me more, burying Brindle or this fraternal experience --- temporary as it was.

In Memoriam, Lillanna Kopp, SFCC, Deceased 24, April, 2011

I was waiting to post on this until I got more information. Fortunately, The Oregonian put up this obituary just one week after Lillanna's death, along with a more recent photo than the ones I had. I knew Lillanna personally as the foundress of the Sisters For Christian Community. She was an amazing woman and I count myself fortunate to have known her.

SFCC (Sisters For Christian Community), Lillanna Kopp, 91, Nov. 25, 1919 April 24, 2011 Lillanna Kopp was born in Bozeman, Mont., the youngest child of John and Leila Shotwell Kopp. A 1937 graduate of Portland's Roosevelt High School, Lillanna later entered the Convent of the Sisters of Holy Names in Marylhurst, taking the name of Sister Mary Audrey with her vows. She went on to earn degrees in education and psychology from Marylhurst College and Seattle University respectively. She earned her doctoral degree in sociology from St. Louis University in 1960, where she was the first female recipient of a teaching fellowship from the previously all-male educational institution.

Lillanna went on to have a very successful career as both a teacher and a scholar. She taught at almost every level of schooling including St. Peter, Our Lady of the Lake, and The Madeleine School of the greater Portland area, and St. Mary's of Medford. In addition, she was the principal at The Christie School and the Job Corps director of Center Life at Tongue Point Women's Center. Lillanna also held teaching positions in sociology and anthropology at Webster College, Marylhurst College, the World Campus Afloat for Chapman College and Portland Community College. Her commitment to education was only surpassed by her commitment to social justice and religious life. In 1961, she served as a delegate to the General Assembly of the U.S. Commission on UNESCO, and in 1965, actively participated in the civil rights movement as one of the founding members of the Traveling Workshop in Inter-Group Relations sponsored by The National Catholic Conference for Interracial Justice (NCCIJ). She went on to be named the Director of Research and Curriculum for the Education Department of the NCCIJ in 1968.

In that same year, she published two manuscripts, "The Myth of Race" and "The New Nuns: Collegial Christians." It is the title of the latter that best represents Lillanna's greatest passion and life work. Initially as co-editor of TRANS-SISTER, a grass-roots newsletter for American nuns, and later as founder of Sisters for Christian Community (SFCC), Lillanna was a leader in the movement to transform the private and public lives of American nuns to better serve our communities and the Church. Founded in her North Portland home in 1970, today the SFCC is an international organization with members on every continent across the globe, committed to religious life and service via self-determination and collegiality. Lillanna continued her work for new non-canonical communities for American nuns throughout her retirement at her shared Sunspot in Waldport.

In 1983, she published her final manuscript, a sociological analysis of women's religious communities, titled "Sudden Spring: 6th stage Sisters: Trends of Change in Catholic Sisterhoods," and became the president of the National Coalition of American Nuns. Lillanna died Easter Sunday. As a young woman, Lillanna was preceded in death by her brothers, John and Charles Kopp; and more recently by her sister, Mary Leila Kopp Wolf, with whom, over the last two decades of her life, she shared a home, garden, a large extended family and a nightly game of Rummikub. She is survived by nieces, Diane Wolf Wheeler of West Linn; Mary Jane Wolf Aman, Linda Wolf Meacham and Nancy Wolf John, all of Portland; and Cindy Wolf Wyllie of Aloha; as well as 13 great-nieces and nephews; and 13 great-great-nieces and nephews who share her love of family and community. Lillanna's family and friends would like to thank the staff of Assumption Village and Avamere of Beaverton for their generosity of spirit and care. A celebration of her life will be held at 10 a.m. Friday, May 13, 2011, at St. Anthony Catholic Church in Tigard. Please send memorial contributions to St. Vincent de Paul Tigard Conference, 9905 S.W. McKenzie St, Tigard, OR 97223.

In Memoriam, Marjory C Folinsbee-Harlan, MD, deceased 24 April, 2009

[Marjory Folinsbee, MD (left) Marietta Fahey, SHF (right)]

Two years ago today I lost one of the most important people in my life. Marjory C Folinsbee - Harlan, MD, was my physician for @17 years until her retirement in @1989; thereafter she was my friend, unofficial formator, and mentor. In particular, she was one of those who taught me what it means to love and be loved despite every obstacle or resistance. Her consistent presence in my life since January of 1972 was a joy, and quite often, a major challenge I did not always appreciate as well as I came to later on!! I still grieve her loss but I also celebrate a new kind of presence because she has entered a realm which both transcends and interpenetrates this one of space and time. Especially, though, I rejoice with her as she has truly come home to God and is reunited with all those who died before her.

Marjory was one of the first and very few women in Medical school in Canada back in the days when it was truly a men's world and medicine itself a man's field. She was a pioneer in many ways, not least because she grew up on the frontier of Saskatchewan, went to a one room school house (she got there on horseback with her sister). Later on she went to medical school first in Saskatchewan, and then at Stanford. She was a pilot (her first plane was named "Therapy" because it functioned that way for her after the wholly unexpected, sudden death of her first husband), she pioneered programs for young women from difficult families, worked with the Sisters of the Good Shepherd in San Francisco, pioneered programs in other countries to allow the very poor to become entrepreneurs. Professionally, though she had begun practice in internal medicine, she went back to school to study psychiatry because it was her experience that most people needed someone to talk to more than anything else. While she was known as an expert in neuropsychiatric pharmacology, she disdained the practice of psychiatry which was merely oriented to medicating the patient. When I first met her she was associate chief of neuropsychiatry at Pacific Presbyterian Medical Center, also in San Francisco. She maintained a private practice as well, first in San Francisco, and then in San Mateo. Later she saw patients in Carefree, AZ, etc --- depending on where she and Ridge (2nd husband) were living.

When Mar first died, I simply had no words and though I borrowed a poem from the work of Jessica Powers (Sister Miriam of the Holy Spirit, OCD), I never posted it. I think it still fits -- and it fits especially on this Easter Sunday as I imagine the welcome Jesus' death and resurrection made possible. (Ironically, it also echoes dimensions of the life I live now in part because of Mar's assistance!)

The spirit, newly freed from earth,
is all amazed at the surprise
of her belonging: suddenly
as native to eternity
to see herself, to realize
the hermitage that lets her be
at home where all this glory lies.

By naught foretold could she have guessed
such welcome home: the robe, the ring,
music and endless banqueting,
these people hers; this place of rest
known, as of long remembering
herself a child of God and pressed
with warm endearments to His breast

The Homecoming by Jessica Powers (Sister Miriam of the Holy Spirit, OCD)

But today I need to add a little to this, and something far more personal than I usually post here. On this day when we celebrate the wonder that death no longer has the final word, it is especially poignant for me to celebrate her life. She struggled against death in many forms every single day of her adult life, and directly saved my own at least three times (e.g., via IV meds, CPR, and/or ventilation in the face of status epilepticus or serious seizures). More, along with my spiritual director, she worked consistently that I might have life and have it to the fullest. She knew that genuine freedom was the power to be the ones we are called to be despite constraints and limitations, and she wanted that for me. She reminded me of it in ways courses in theology, good as they are, could never do. When I was finally professed in community in 1976, she was present sitting right up front (she "wanted to see everything!"). And then again in 2007 for perpetual eremitical profession and consecration, she was present and carried up the gifts along with Sister Marietta and my sister (Cindy) and niece (Ellen). It seemed so fittingly symbolic to have Mar and Marietta, along with my closest family, carry up the bread and wine that would be so incredibly transformed into the very Body and blood of Christ.

In our last real conversation (November 2008) partly in honor of her birthday and partly for Thanksgiving, I thanked Mar for the gift she was in my life. We talked some about the death of her husband, Ridge Harlan (just a couple of years before this), about her own struggle with chronic lymphocytic leukemia (a splenectomy a number of months before had improved things significantly for the time being it seemed), and also about the shape and richness of my own life --- how right the move to diocesan eremitical life was, and how I was growing in it in the unexpected ways it made possible. I joked that I suspected that for most psychiatrists having a patient (or former patient) who quite literally became an "official" hermit would be counted by the physician's peers as a "treatment failure." Mar laughed at the general truth of this and then became quite serious. She affirmed she had "never doubted that my life in solitude was a true vocation" (she had certainly never said so to me in all these years!), and further, that in her view, I "had taken a 'treatment success' and [with the grace of God] turned it into a way of life." She said she "could not be prouder of or happier for me." For my part, it was humbling and a very great joy to know what all of this added to her own life.

Christ came that we might have life and have it abundantly. He came so that death, whether ultimate or in any of its lesser forms, would neither dominate nor define us and faith (trust in God) would replace fear. He came that we might be liberated from whatever cripples us and walk courageously, with integrity, wholeness, vision, and the wisdom and joy that comes when the exigencies of life meet the grace of God. When we are really fortunate, we find friends (and maybe even the occasional professional) who participate in this mission of Jesus and themselves summon us to its concrete realization --- even if they never speak in religious terms. Marjory Folinsbee (Harlan) was one such person for me, and on this day in particular I celebrate her memory and the gift she was, and continues to be in my life.

In Memoriam, Tim O'Neal b.1954 d. 2010

On Friday, and quite unexpectedly, my brother, Tim, died. Tim had had some back surgery done on Monday, had been in the hospital until Thursday, and spoke with my sister Cindy that night for over an hour. He seemed fine. The next morning his wife and daughter kissed him goodbye as they left for work and school. He did not wake but was snoring. When they returned that afternoon they found him dead.

Tim could be incredibly funny and had one of the best capacities for telling jokes I have ever seen. He was an accomplished cook (sometimes cooking on cruise ships), and animal lover (he worked as a veterinary tech until a few years ago). He also had his problems including drugs and alcohol for much of his youth and young adulthood. However he had turned that all around and become a husband and really devoted father. His family was, without doubt, the thing he was proudest of. He was the primary caregiver there, the stay-at-home father, and he took genuine delight in caring for his daughter Allie, taking her to dance recitals, lessons, school, activities of whatever sort, etc. He is survived then by his wife, Olga, and his 6 year old daughter, Alyson, as well as by his sisters, Cindy and myself.

The whole family is stunned, of course. My sister and I would ask that you please keep Tim and all of us in your prayers, but most especially Alyson who may well feel, and be affected by, this loss most keenly of all.

Don Porcella, In Memoriam

Don Porcella (2nd from right) with Thomas Malanca (d. 24 Dec 2008) far right, Aggie Malanca (center), Mary Jo Brady (front left), and Bill Johns (behind Mary Jo) outside the chapel at St Perpetua's where he worshipped several times a week.
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Wednesday night, April 21st, 2010, Don Porcella died from a long and courageous struggle with cancer. Don had been home from the hospital just a few days, knowing that there would be no further treatment; he died quietly shortly after 10:00 pm. His family had spent the evening with him, and friends/parishioners had been able to be present in the 24 - 36 hours preceding the death to say goodbye.

I had only known Don for a little more than four years (far too short a time!), but he will remain one of the most unforgettable, genuinely inspiring persons I carry in my heart. Don was a Catholic Christian, a husband and father, a scientist (an environmental engineer whose PhD was in environmental health), Fullbright Scholar, professor, and an amazing (and prolific!) potter as well. All of these dimensions of his life came together for me in the imagery of the verse from John 7:37-38: [[If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. He who believes in me as the scripture has said, 'Out of his heart shall flow rivers of living water.' Now this he said about the Spirit, which those who believed in him were to receive. . .]]

In his professional life Don studied rivers and lakes and developed methods for assuring their health and vitality, as Father and husband, friend and fellow Christian he was indeed a source of living water which flowed abundantly and generously from his heart. He listened, encouraged, nurtured and loved others into greater wholeness and fruitfulness. As a potter Don molded the very clay of the rivers, lakes and world he studied into amazing pieces, creating beauty out of more primal beauty. Don was always a scientist and perhaps the best that science has to offer our world. It is so common today for scientists to compartmentalize their lives so that science rules out faith or at best allows some superficial nod to religion. But not so with Don. His faith was deep and critical (and so, unceasingly curious and questioning), and his scientific work and critical approach to reality was faithful (and so, reverent, and lovingly intelligent). He had worked at and managed to integrate what for others would have been merely disparate aspects of a less genuinely intelligent life. In Christ all this came together in a humanity symbolized in the very pottery he made --- a vessel for God's own spirit and life, an earthen vessel from which flowed living water in abundance.

I will miss Don very much, his mind, his humor and impish (or perhaps roguish) grin, his slow and thoughtful speech, his gentle, generous, and loving heart, but I am very grateful to have shared in his life, and to be able to celebrate his eternal life and continuing presence in Christ.
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Services will be at St Perpetua's: Vigil 7:00 pm Monday 26.April
Mass of Christian burial, 10:30 am Tuesday, 27. April

In Memoriam: Father Frank Houdek, SJ; June 16, 1935-April 23, 2009

In lieu of any personal blog entry at present, the following was the parish announcement of Father Frank's death from our pastor, John Kasper, osfs. A picture of Frank, I hope, will be forthcoming. For now, the only one I have is from the day of my perpetual profession. On that day Father Frank (right), as he always did, proclaimed the Gospel from memory. I am so privileged to have known and worked with him for the past several years. He was a fine priest and a man of integrity, deep compassion, and gentleness, a true Christian: the finest things I can say about anyone with such a vocation. We are all feeling an incredible loss (not least, given the quality of Frank's life and ministry, a loss for words) and we hope in the resurrection.



[[It is with great sadness that I announce to you the death of Father Frank Houdek, SJ. Father Frank was a Jesuit for fifty-seven years and has been part of our St. Perpetua Parish since 1991 as Sacramental Minister, while he served as a theology professor at the Jesuit School of Theology in Berkeley. Father died of cardio-renal failure after struggling with failing health for the past several months. Until the very end though he made ministry his primary goal and focus. Even when it was difficult he wanted to be at prayer with the community and to preside at the Eucharist. His last celebration was at our parish Lenten Penance Service in March.

To look at the walls in Father's room is to look at hundreds of books in his personal library on scripture, theology, spirituality and Church history. Those books include the one he wrote, Guided by the Spirit: A Jesuit Perspective on Spiritual Direction. Chicago: Loyola Press, 1996. Father Frank held a master's degree in theology from St. Mary's University, Halifax, Nova Scotia, and a Ph.D. in classics as well as a Ph.D. in Philosophy, both from UCLA. He taught at the University of Detroit and the School of Applied Theology at Berkeley and was an assistant professor of historical systematics and director of M.T.S. (Master of Theological Studies) programs at the GTU/Jesuit School of Theology, Berkeley. He was a nationally known retreat director and spiritual guide.

For all his higher education and scholarly background Father Frank was a down-to-earth guy, making the gospel come alive for us in his preaching and teaching. His intimate knowledge of the scriptures allowed him to proclaim the gospel without needing the printed text. Like the early Christians who shared the Word through oral tradition, Father Frank had committed the gospels to memory. His standard operational procedure of opening most homilies with a joke created anticipation for his hearers. As the joke began you wondered what in the world it had to do with the scriptures. He cleverly drew a thread from the joke that led to the key point of his homily - a point that often challenged and always inspired. He caught your attention with the joke, but more importantly, he uplifted you with his message.

As a spiritual director and counselor Father offered his wisdom and insight to many parishioners and others who sought his guidance. He was a faithful companion in prayer to people who were seeking a deeper relationship with God and a closer walk with Jesus. Our sympathy is extended to Father's two sisters from Ohio, Harriet and Jeri, and his two nephews from the Bay area, Phil and Joe and Joe's wife Kathy, as well as his colleagues from the Berkeley theological community, his longtime friend, Dr. Penny Pendola, and the many friends and parishioners who looked to him for support and guidance. I will greatly miss Frank's friendship, his assistance with our parish liturgy and the personal support he offered me as pastor and fellow minister of the Gospel.]]

In sympathy,
Father John Kasper, OSFS

Father Frank's life will be commemorated in prayer as follows:

Sunday, April 26 at 4:00 p.m.: Rite of Reception
when Father's body will be brought to St. Perpetua Church.
(Throughout the late afternoon and early evening there will be visitation at the church.)
5:00pm Rosary
6:00pm prayer with members of the GTU community

Sunday, April 26 at 7:00 p.m.: Vigil
including scripture, song and words of remembrance. (There will be an informal reception with refreshments in the hall following the Prayer Vigil.)

Monday, April 27 at 11:00 a.m.: Mass of Christian Burial
followed by a reception and refreshments on the hillside plaza behind the school.

Monday, April 27 at 3:00 p.m. Interment at Queen of Heaven Cemetery in Lafayette. (Those attending the burial will leave the church and reception about 2:15 to drive to the cemetery.)

In Memoriam, Tom Malanca b: Jan 8, 1940; d: Dec 24, 2008

In the above picture, taken after Christmas eve Mass, 2007, Tom (above) is on the left with his wife Aggie, Sons (John and Robert) and Daughter in Law (Autumn). Today, just one year later, Tom Malanca died of a heart attack after a long and truly courageous struggle with illness. He had just returned from the hospital yesterday and was happy to be home. To say how much St Perpetua parish will miss Tom is impossible. Our celebration of Christmas is bittersweet and we trust that he is celebrating his own truest homecoming during this feast of light. We celebrate with him despite our sadness, for his faith was honest and profound, and he was a man of generosity and integrity of whom, in this season focusing on the Incarnation and our own vocations to incarnate the Word of God, I personally believe God is proud. Echoing the statement at Jesus' baptism, I can easily hear him summing up Tom's life, "This is my beloved Son in whom I am well-pleased!" Picture Above right: Tom at Son, Rob's, and Daughter in Law, Autumn's, wedding. Picture taken by family.

Singing with the choir at rehearsal, Christmas Eve, 2007, Tom is on the right. Singing was one of the things he truly loved, and as our pastor announced tonight, we trust that now he is singing with the choirs of heaven.

I especially ask that you keep Aggie and the rest of Tom's family in your prayers this Christmas season.

Sunday, Advent Week 4

"It was there from the beginning; we have heard it; we have seen it with our own eyes: we looked upon it, and felt it with our own hands; and it is of this we tell. Our theme is the Word of Life. This life was made visible; we have seen it and bear our testimony; we here declare to you the eternal life which dwelt with the Father and was made visible to us. What we have seen we declare to you, so that you and we together may share in a common life, that life which we share with the Father and his Son Jesus Christ. And we write this in order that the joy of us all may be complete." (1 Jn 1-4)



In memoriam: Anabelle Farrell, St Perpetua's Parish. Died December 23, 2007. For Anabelle, the real Feast of Light for which we all yearn has begun; her joy is complete, while we grieve her loss. Pray for us Anabelle!!