Hi there, and thanks for your questions! I have sent you the title of the Cornelius Wencel book I would recommend for anyone interested in any form of eremitical life. For readers here, that is one I have mentioned before, namely, The Eremitic Life. It is becoming harder and harder to get a print copy of this for a reasonable price, but thanks for sending the information about it being available on Barnes and Noble for their ereader application! (In the past, it has been available on Amazon for Kindle as well, but it seems not to be so now.) I don't know any good online sources for folks living as Catholic Lay (or non-canonical) hermits, though I will keep my eye out for that now that I know your interest.
The problem of individualism is a big one, and not just for hermits! It is an epidemic in our culture. The ironic thing about hermits is that in their solitude, to the extent that solitude is authentic and truly eremitical, they are anti-individualistic! Living alone is not the problem. The problem here is a lack of relationships and significant relatedness to both the Church and the world. It is not surprising at all that Ponams in Deserto Viam we find the following affirmation:A hermit's life, therefore, moves between two poles of reference: the Church and the world. The Church is the maternal womb which generates the specific vocation. She is also the vital context in which this vocation flourishes and is realized in authenticity and fullness. The second pole is the world. Hermits separate themselves froim the world by choosing to live on the margins of society. The Church and world are the contexts that preserve the hermit from individualism. This establishes them as sentinels of hope advancing "down the paths of time with eyes fixed on the future restoration of all things in Christ." (Ponam, p. 20, quote by John Paul II, Vita Consecrata, 1996, p. 59.) and further,
In the Latin Tradition, as Peter Damian wrote in his work, Dominus Vobiscum, radical solitude most carefully defines the ecclesial role of the hermits' way of life. Hermits are like a microcosm of the world and the Church in minature. Therefore, they cannot forget the Church and the world which they represent in their totality. The more one is alone before God, the more one discovers within oneself the deeper dimension of the world. (Ponam p 21)
When we consider what the hermit's role is with regard to the world, we find in c 603 that she lives her life for the sake of the salvation of that reality. "The world" in all of these statements does not mean "anything outside the hermit's door" but rather, anything contrary or resistant to Christ -- including the hermit's own heart! In her solitude, the hermit stands in the place of intercession where God and the world meet. In Christ, she is that place, and what she shows the world is a life given over to God in love for the sake of others. As the hermit's life in union with God grows, so does her acceptance of her uniquely loving place with regard to the world.
So, the hermit is profoundly related to the Church, the maternal womb of this specific vocation, and she is profoundly related to the world, whose pain and yearning she knows well, and holds before God. Taking care that these two poles are always a significant dimension of her life is the single most important preservative from individualism we know. It is possible, by the way, to find examples of "hermits" who have turned their backs on the world completely, and even some who have, for all intents and purposes, left the Church. In the cases of which I am aware, the gradual (or not so gradual) pulling away from the Church leads to an individualism marked by significant theological and spiritual eccentricity. When one turns one's back on the world, struggling to find meaning and fullness of existence, it leads to a focus on "me", my holiness, my spirituality and relationship with God, my health, my struggles, and very little sense (or very little convincing sense) of a deep and abiding compassion with or for the pain of others. Occasionally, it is possible to find "hermits" whose individualism is so pronounced that they manifest both estrangement from the Church and little compassion with the world for whom (in part) this vocation exists. What ensues is a vicious circle where individualism leads to estrangement, leads to greater individualism, and so on. These persons are not hermits. They are lone individuals who, eremitically speaking, have lost their way.These two dimensions (Church and world) will be present in any eremitical vocation, whether canonical or non-canonical. In what you have written to me, you are very clear that you are finding your way here --- as every one of us must do! Growth in your own relationship with the Church, especially in your local community, will and should grow. Yes, you will embrace greater solitude as well, and no, I don't mean you have to attend every parish function or Oktoberfest!! Still, maintain strong relationships and your liturgical and sacramental life. Do whatever it takes to grow in compassion. A good spiritual director can be of immense assistance here! Maintain and allow your prayer life to mature and deepen. These three foci (God, Church, world) embraced within and toward the silence of solitude, will protect you against individualism and inappropriate eccentricity. (I say inappropriate because hermits live literally eccentric lives insofar as they (very apparently) live "out of the center" and more profoundly (and hiddenly) centered lives in God and the heart of the Church).
I hope this is helpful. You know where to reach me, so let me know if this raises more questions.

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