Retired with Questions on Living Eremitical Life

[[ Hi. I am recently retired, and, although I still have some obligations "in the world," I spend most of my time at home, where I live alone. For several weeks now I have been living an eremitic life while at home or similarly alone. I am wondering about eventually making private vows, initially for very short periods. But I have a concern. Currently, since I can "walk away" at any time, I can sincerely pray, for example, "Jesus, I am living this way because I want to be united more closely with you." But after making a vow, I'm worried that all I could pray is, "Jesus, I am living this way because I promised I would." Can you provide any advice on this? ]]

Thanks for your questions. First, I would say it is way too early for any kind of vows, private or otherwise. I appreciate you are living a period of solitude right now, but it is not eremitical, not yet anyway. Remember, you have retired and are in a transitional period of greater solitude. This is not eremitical solitude; eremitical solitude is not transitional solitude. You are beginning to negotiate how you will live retired life with all the questions that raises about how and why you are going to live moving forward in whatever way you choose to do that. Also, we are still dealing with the pandemic's enforced solitude in most places. Neither is this eremitical solitude --- though for some it might grow into this. Give yourself at least a year of living as you are. Also begin working regularly with a spiritual director who can assist you in this transitional time of discernment and bereavement (for there is serious loss upon retirement). 

If you mean your time to be eremitical, then after a transitional year, begin to make your life truly eremitical in all the ways a hermit would be living this time. (My concern here is that you deal with bereavement and loss before trying to become a hermit in a focused way. That ordinarily takes more than a year, but at the end of a year you might be in a position to focus on becoming a hermit as you continue transitioning in a new mode. The two things will overlap to some extent, but in the beginning, I think you must give attention to different things during this time, first to transitioning and bereavement, and then to eremitical life per se.)

Especially continue to ask yourself why you are doing this. Because there is only ONE reason to be living eremitical solitude, namely, God calls us to do so. So, does God seem to be calling you to this? If so, do you want to truly respond to that call in this way or not? At that point you might write yourself a Rule or set of guidelines regarding how God wants you to live this response of yours. Central to this Rule or set of guidelines will be an account of the ways God works in your life and how you respond to that working. There will be values you want to witness to, practices you want to model. There will be a vision of the life you are choosing to live. A Rule, Plan of Life or set of guidelines should reflect all of these. Live these for another year or two. With the assistance of your director, modify them as needed in the direction of how you feel called by God to live and continue living in this way for another couple of years; if at this point you are still clear that you are called by God to this, then, if you need to do this, write a liveable Rule you propose to live for at least five years. 

At this point you might be ready to make private vows for a period of a year or two which you can renew as needed until you are ready make a perpetual vow. (Please note: what changes and has been changing here is your understanding of and increasing ability to live the life, not your intention to love God in the way you are called. Remember that whenever one makes a vow, one intends to live it wholeheartedly for the rest of one's life. Even temporary vows are made with this deep intention. The idea is that while a vow may by temporally limited, one's gift of self to God is not. If you cannot do this, I would suggest you hold off making even a temporary commitment.)

If, at every point you can affirm not only that you want to be united more closely with Jesus, but can also say, "Jesus, I feel you calling me to unite myself to you in this specific way", a vow is not going to change that in the way you believe (or fear). It should express, codify, and strengthen your commitment of self. It is true that sometimes after making the vow, in the course of years you may feel at times that you are only living this because you committed to doing so. So? What if you were speaking of another relationship, one with a good friend where you committed to always "having their back" or something. Would that promise or commitment vitiate the friendship? Or is it a way of honoring and protecting the friendship in good times and bad? Are you friends merely because you promised you would have this person's back or did you promise what you did because of something deeper and very real? With vocations these same dynamics can be at play and your vow can hold you until you regain a better sense of things -- or as you negotiate seemingly chaotic periods of growth where you move "from faith to (deeper) faith".

After all, you discerned with the assistance of your spiritual director that were called to this and you responded with an eventual commitment.  (I am assuming this will be the case.) Your commitment was called for by what you discerned. Generally speaking you felt called and therefore made a commitment; you must always be able to say you live the commitment your were called to make. If your commitment keeps you responding to God's call when things are difficult, that is a good thing. It is a vow working as it is meant to work. If you cease to feel God is calling you to this life, then, again with the help of your director, discern whether you can continue keeping your commitment or not. Would this be false of you, insincere, merely willful, or is it the right thing to do until you regain a sense of what God is calling you to??

What I am saying throughout this is that only over time, with the help of a spiritual director, and lots of prayer, can you come to clarity on whether God is calling you to eremitical life. A commitment should not be made too early, but once it is made, it should help you to continue living a committed life. The commitment, if made rightly and based on good discernment, should strengthen the way you are living and intensify your love for Jesus. If it becomes empty in some way, it obliges you to get back in touch with your original motivations and sense of call. It obliges you to discern afresh and get in touch with what you initially discerned if that is possible. If, after some months of praying and working with your director on this, you cannot do that, then perhaps it is time to leave that commitment and this attempt at being a hermit behind.

I sincerely hope this is helpful. Please get back to me if it raises more questions.

In that light please see the addendum on this post above (It is the next post in the queue). I say a bit more about time frames (definitely not carved in stone) and the reason for them. I may decide to append them to this post, but they should do as the next (later) post. (https://2022/03/addendum-on-retired-and-seeking-to-live.html)

On Private Vows as a Lay (Non-Canonical) Hermit

[[Dear Sister, if I choose to make private vows as a hermit, do I need to check with my bishop? Do I need his permission? Would bishops know the lay hermits (I mean the privately vowed hermits) in their diocese --- maybe because my pastor tells the bishop about me? I'm asking because of the following comments by (a lay hermit): "The choice may include the individual with spiritual director or if would-be hermit in a religious order with a superior. And as a Catholic in one manner or another, at some point in time, one's bishop is involved more directly or else indirectly, whichever the path of eremitic is discerned and taken." She also says she usually trusts her pastor to tell her bishop about her but does not need to get permission to move into a parish and live as a Catholic hermit because she has private vows.]]

Thanks for your questions. The simple answer to all of these is "no." I am not sure what the author meant by "whichever path of eremitic life is discerned. . ." in the passage you are citing (there are three, two of them for solitary hermits --- one of these non-canonical and one consecrated), but the only time one's bishop is involved directly or indirectly is when one is making public profession whether as a canon 603 hermit or as a member of a religious order of hermits. Otherwise one's commitment is a private matter entirely. Private vows do not change one's state of life, do not add canonical rights or obligations and as a result they can be dispensed easily without paper work, etc. Because of this there is simply no need for the bishop to be involved, whether directly or indirectly. Of course if the bishop is already one's spiritual director, friend, pastor, etc, he may become involved and even witness your vows --- but he will not do so as bishop per se, nor will he  receive such vows. Private vows may be made by anyone at any time and while one hopes these are well-considered and discerned precisely because they are an important personal commitment specifying one's baptismal commitment, there is no need for any kind of authorization, not least by one's bishop.

Similarly, unless one already knows one's bishop in some capacity chances are slim to non-existent that he will know of one's private vows. The Church does not keep any records of such private commitments precisely because they are private, not public and not undertaken in the name of the Church. Generally speaking, bishops may come to know of lay hermits (hermits in the lay or baptismal state alone) living in their dioceses but chances of this are greater if the hermits are sources of confusion or difficulty --- or, alternately, if these persons are particularly edifying or inspirational to their parishes and pastors. Another instance in which privately vowed (not professed since by definition this term implies a change in state of life) hermits may become known to their bishop is if such a person decides to seek public profession under canon 603. (In this instance the bishop may truly become "involved" in a real way and not simply know of the person.) Living as a lay hermit either with or without private vows can be an important way of preparing for a publicly professed life; in fact, unless one is already a religious, living as a lay hermit for some meaningful period of time (at least several years) during discernment and formation in anticipation of public profession is necessary. No one is professed under canon 603 unless they are already hermits in some essential sense.

I have waited to respond to the last piece of your question because it really raises significant issues of irresponsibility in claiming the name "Catholic hermit." Remember that a diocesan bishop is responsible in a direct way for anyone or anything in the diocese which is explicitly identified as "Catholic." A Catholic institute of religious, a Catholic priest, a Catholic broadcasting organization, a Catholic theologian, etc, etc. All of these claim to act in the name of the Church and as such, they do so under the specific authority of those commissioned by the Church to exercise such authority. In diocesan organizations or entities this is ordinarily the diocesan bishop. Again, no one may adopt the designation "Catholic" unless they are specifically authorized to do this. Canon Law is clear about this and the Church acts on significant instances of abuse where the name Catholic is being misused and/or misrepresented. (Ordinarily a single lay hermit mistakenly calling themselves a "Catholic Hermit" will not fall to the bishop to handle; it is more likely to be addressed by the parish priest or pastor.)

Baptism gives us the right to call ourselves Catholic but it does not give us the right, nor convey the obligations linked with being a Catholic Hermit --- a Catholic who lives eremitical life in the name of the Church and thus, under the specific supervision of the diocesan bishop. Remember c 603.2 reads, [[§2. A hermit is recognized by law as one dedicated to God in consecrated life if he or she publicly professes in the hands of the diocesan bishop the three evangelical counsels, confirmed by vow or other sacred bond, and observes a proper program of living under his direction.]]

It is irresponsible of one to claim the title "Catholic Hermit" and do so without being specifically and publicly (canonically) commissioned to do so by the Church. However, it is equally irresponsible for an individual claiming to be a member of the consecrated state of life and calling themselves a Catholic hermit to fail to contact the bishop of a new diocese directly. They do not hope or expect or count on someone doing this for them! They do not trust it to chance. Members of Catholic Institutes of Consecrated life know this and work out moves in location with those in legitimate authority. Consecrated virgins also know this, not least because it is specifically required in the guidelines codified for them by the Vatican. Solitary Catholic (c 603) Hermits know it because c 603 is clear re who is actively supervising their vocations!

Consecrated life is constituted by several different ecclesial vocations (canonical cenobitical, canonical eremitical, consecrated virginity, etc) and if one really is called to such a vocation one honors the Church and authority in the Church which has publicly professed, consecrated, and commissioned one. After all, ecclesial vocations belong in a special way to the treasure and patrimony of the Church. Thus, C 603 hermits must get approval of the bishop in the diocese to which they wish to move if they wish to remain a professed hermit. Otherwise, should they move, their vows cease to be valid due to a material change in the substance of those vows.

At this point the hermit would cease to be a Catholic Hermit and, if she continues in the eremitical life, becomes a Catholic who also happens to be a hermit with an entirely private commitment. Such a life is significant but it does not constitute an ecclesial vocation, is not lived in the name of the Church, and thus, is not specifically called by the term Catholic. The bottom line in all of this remains: solitary Catholic Hermits live under the direct supervision of a legitimate superior, namely the diocesan bishop; if she moves she will have contacted the new bishop directly re continuing to be a solitary Catholic Hermit before she makes her move, and again afterwards if he agrees to receive her as a diocesan hermit who will be living eremitical life in the name of the Church. Private vows are a possibility for her if the bishop will not receive her as a canonical hermit under c 603, but she cannot continue to represent herself as a Catholic Hermit. 

I sincerely hope your own discernment in eremitical life goes well. If you should decide to make private vows as a lay hermit (again, a hermit in the lay state) I wish you well in that especially. It is not easy living such a life without the moral support of one's parish family (though you can certainly secure that if you desire it) and the Church at large --- at least that is what I have found. As a lay hermit you may well have the support of members of your parish and find that you have something unique to offer the parish at large as well. As a lay hermit you will have something to offer the post Vatican II Church as well because this Church is still trying to implement Vatican II and its esteem for the laity. Because you will represent the desert Fathers and Mothers (who were lay hermits and a powerful prophetic presence for and in the Church) you may serve members of your local Church in ways canonical hermits might not be able to do. I hope so!

Basic Questions

I received an email with a number of questions, many that have been answered here before so I thought I would post them and try to include some of the links (or at least the label links) leading to appropriate answers. The questions are:

Do I need to be a Sister before entering the Eremitical life?

No, but there is no doubt that someone with formation in a religious community will often be better prepared to move into eremitical solitude with a sense of what a solitary religious life entails and with the personal qualities and functional "skills" necessary to succeed there. Somehow one must get the social and spiritual formation religious life entails.  I believe an individual can do this but it involves education in theology, spirituality and the disciplines associated with these in prayer, lectio, study, etc. This is especially true of consecrated solitary eremitical life under canon 603. At the very least such a life needs to include the central formative elements of any religious life including education in the meaning of the vows and a grounding in Scripture which will allow one to read it intelligently and live from it as a truly deep and pervasive source of life. Moreover one needs a sense of the eremitical tradition in which one is seeking a place as a living representative. Please check out some of the other posts here on the formation of the lay or diocesan hermit, etc.

Do I need to find a specific direction such as Dominican, Benedictine, etc. ahead of time?

No. However, in my experience most hermits have developed a kinship or affinity with a particular spiritual tradition well before becoming either a lay or a diocesan hermit. Still, this is not necessary. I have felt keen resonances with Franciscan, Camaldolese Benedictine, and Cistercian spiritualities. While I was a Franciscan and am now an oblate with the Camaldolese Benedictines I retain strong affinities with Franciscanism and am discovering ever greater resonances with Cistercian spirituality. At the same time my prayer resonates with the "spirit" of John of the Cross, and so, Carmelite tradition too. The bottom line here is that I am professed as a diocesan hermit, not as Camaldolese or Franciscan or Cistercian and that profession gives me the freedom to seek the wealth in any spiritual tradition, especially those with a strong love for silence and solitude. In some ways the diocesan hermit can serve as a symbol of the place where many traditions come together in the silence of solitude.

At what point do I contact the diocese for guidance?

Until you have lived as a hermit in a conscious, dedicated, and supervised way for at least a couple of years I personally believe it is premature to contact a diocese for guidance. The most they can or usually will say to a person without at least this background is, "Go and live in solitude. Model your life on canon 603 to the degree any lay hermit can, and, if you still are interested in pursuing this option and discerning a vocation to consecrated solitary eremitical life, then contact us again." The way I have summarized this in the past is by saying a person must truly be a hermit in some essential sense before contacting their diocese. You see, dioceses are not responsible for the formation of hermits. Hermits are formed in the silence of solitude, and though this takes guidance it is strongly dependent on the hermit's initiative and personal discernment.

One of the reasons I use the picture just above as a symbol of this life is because it underscores the place of the silence of solitude in the formation of the hermit, especially the diocesan hermit. If one cannot be responsible for and acquire the education and formation one needs apart from the diocese --- at least in the main --- one is unlikely to have a vocation to solitary eremitical life. Moreover, until and unless you have this background, most dioceses are unlikely to consider you a serious candidate for eventual profession. (My own diocese has, in the past at least, said they will not even consider a person for profession under canon 603 until they have lived as a hermit under direction for at least five years. I think that is very wise and believe it is the very minimum necessary even, and maybe especially, if one is coming from a religious community.) Please see the other posts on Time Frames, When to contact one's diocese, etc. Check the labels below and in the right hand panel.

I noticed that you wear a habit, which appeals to me as well. Is this something that relates to the community you associate with, or is this a separate decision you or the diocese may have made?

The habit I wear is very specifically NOT a Camaldolese habit, nor is the cowl I wear for prayer cut in the same way a Camaldolese cowl is cut. Since I am not professed as a Camaldolese nor any other religious Order or congregation, I wear a fairly generic habit which really matches none that I know of. Diocesan hermits must be given permission to wear a habit and no bishop can give permission for them to wear the habit of a specific Order or congregation. Thus, those who turn up in Franciscan habits, or Carthusian habits, for instance are really wearing garb they have no right to. Since I am not professed as a Franciscan I do NOT wear a Franciscan habit. A friend and diocesan hermit who is associated with the Carmelites does NOT wear a Carmelite habit because the habit is a symbol of one who is formally entrusted with and thus has rights and obligations in regard a specific Tradition.

Not all diocesan hermits wear habits and not all bishops grant permission for the wearing of religious garb. Please see other posts on Titles and Habits, etc. By the way, one of the things you should discern is whether you are called to lay eremitical life or c 603 eremitical life. Don't allow the appeal of wearing a habit prevent you from looking seriously at the possibility that IF God is calling you to eremitical life it may well be as a hermit in the lay state, nor, for that matter, that wearing a habit may not be the witness God is calling you to in any case.

Do you attend Mass?

Of course. I attend Sunday Mass most weeks and daily Mass usually at least once or twice during a week. Sometimes I skip the entire week of daily Mass for a period of increased silence or uninterrupted solitude and other times I may attend several days a week. My baptismal obligations are not generally abrogated by my canonical profession though my commitment to solitude may sometimes require missing Mass at my parish. Similarly, the fact that I have the right to reserve Eucharist in my hermitage makes it absolutely imperative that I get to Mass regularly so that both the reservation and any Communion service I do in the hermitage is integrally linked to the Community celebration of Mass.  Please see the post on Solitude and Sunday Obligation (follow the labels at the bottom for similar posts) and the posts on Eucharistic Spirituality and Solitude.

Do you have any reading material to suggest as I traverse this path?

There are any number of good reads out there on eremitical life today. The best I know is Cornelius Wencel's The Eremitic Life. Personally the most important books in my own journey have included Wencel's book along with Merton's Contemplation in a World of Action, his essay, "Notes for a Philosophy of Solitude" and Cashen's study of solitude in Thomas Merton's thought by the name Solitude. Also helpful was Sister Jeremy Hall's Silence, Solitude, Simplicity, A Hermit's Love Affair With a Noisy, Crowded, and Complicated World, The Hermitage Within, and LeClercq's Alone With God. There are a number of important works on solitude itself too including those by Barbour, Koch, Storr and Buchholz. An introduction to the growing phenomenon of eremitical life of all sorts today is Consider the Ravens by the Fredette's. Meanwhile, a new monograph called Seeking in Solitude by Bernadette McNary-Zak is generally quite fine and one I recommend but probably not where one would begin reading. My own suggestion is that you start with Wencel or Merton or Hall and then read the others. Also read in and about the Desert Fathers and Mothers! They are a fount of the life you are seeking to enter.

Do you go out into the community to serve or gather with others living  the Eremitic life? (Is that a silly question, lol?)

I serve at my parish in several meaningful but quite limited ways. Mostly my work as a spiritual director and as a writer (theology, spirituality) is done from the hermitage. I don't usually meet with others living eremitical lives, no (very rarely I am able to get to Incarnation monastery, etc. ), but I do stay connected to many of them via computer and the Network of Diocesan Hermits.  You will find a number of posts here on hermits and  ministry and on the meaning and requirements of living solitude right on up to complete reclusion here. Please take a look.

Do you have any suggestions for someone looking into this form of life?

At first I hesitated answering this thinking the answer would be too complex and perhaps too lengthy. Perhaps, I thought, I could tackle it in another post just for this purpose. That remains an option. However, two things I consider critical did come to mind so I will add those here.  In the first place I have to say that the single most important suggestion I can make is that one work regularly with a good and experienced director who is knowledgeable in contemplative prayer and in spiritual formation. This person does not need to be a hermit but they must be knowledgeable, experienced, and competent in the ways mentioned! This is an absolute sine qua non in eremitical life and in discerning such a vocation. Especially, it seems to me, the director must be skilled in lovingly assisting the directee to be honest with themselves and God about their own motivations, etc. They must help a directee to seek and embrace Truth in all the ways this is revealed in their lives.

A second thing I should say here is that anyone looking into this life must understand that there are many kinds of solitude and most are not eremitical. If one is called to various degrees of silence AND solitude one still may not be called to live the silence OF solitude in the eremitical life. If one is called to eremitical life there are several options: 1) eremitical life in the lay state (the majority of hermits are lay hermits I think), 2) consecrated life as a hermit in a religious congregation, and 3) consecrated life as a solitary hermit under canon 603. One might be called to any of these. A lot of discernment is involved and one must be prepared to give oneself over to the process. (Hence the importance of a competent spiritual director!)

Many times folks write and seem to have concluded their vocation is a foregone conclusion. Sometimes this simply means they are intrigued by the idea. But interest or even attraction does not necessarily mean a vocation. Often (though not in the case of the person asking these particular questions) they believe because they live alone they are truly called to be a hermit or are actually already hermits. Yet, the truth is quite often that they are still merely lone individuals primarily interested in "getting consecrated", wearing a habit, reserving Eucharist in their own place, or are persons who are simply interested in validating their own aloneness and individualism. Mainly these folks have very little sense of what being a hermit actually means and they are not really interested in the radical conversion of their living situations or their hearts and minds in the way eremitical life requires.

The actual process of discernment has not really happened here nor can it until and unless the candidate commits to a process of formation, conversion and mutual discernment. Discernment is, in some ways, an evaluation of the way this formation in the silence of solitude either causes one to grow and thrive or to be diminished and stifled. This is why I wrote recently of being able to discern whether one is called to eremitical life only when one is striving to live the life, not while preparing to live it. (cf. Should We Just Ease into Eremitical Life to Discern a Vocation to Eremitism?) So, again, my suggestion is to remember that what you are called to is God's will for what is most loving for others as well as yourself!  If you believe you have a vocation then give yourself over wholeheartedly to a genuine discernment and formation process and be patient with however long it takes. If you are called to be a hermit your life will be more about the journey than a particular destination (e.g., consecration) anyway. Trust God; trust the process or journey; trust the Church, and look to what is most loving and edifying for everyone involved.

Meanwhile, I'll think a bit more about what else I might suggest. I have written about this a lot in various ways over the years so perhaps I do need to pull that all together in a single post.