Evaluating this Blog and Other Questions re Discernment

[[Sister Laurel, does c 603 say, "Besides private profession"? I looked and couldn't find that so I wondered if I had a bad translation. Can bishops remove canonical approval from someone when they speak out publicly? Also, does a person's bishop read their public media, their blogs, etc. One hermit I know says bishops should be doing this, and I wondered if you agree.. . .If you find another hermit disagreeing with you about something important, like the way you live solitude, or wear a habit, or things like that, what do you do?]]

Thanks for your questions. No, canon 603 does not say, "besides private profession . . ." Not only are those words not present in the canon (I am sure your translation was just fine), but what eremitical life is being contrasted with are institutes of consecrated life. This means canonical Religious Congregations and Communities. The canon reads, [[Besides institutes of consecrated life. . .]] and then goes on to state that the Church now recognizes eremitical or anchoritic life. Institutes of consecrated life do not use private vows. They are public vocations with public vows and now, with canon 603, so too is solitary eremitical life lived under the canon. Similarly, the word "profession" is not used for private vows because the act of profession is a public one that always initiates the person making such a profession into a new state of life. Using private and profession together is an oxymoron. The bottom line is that c 603 establishes c 603 hermits or anchorites in the consecrated state just as religious in communities are established that way.

Regarding speaking out publicly and what you call "removing canonical approval", as I have written before, the use of the term "canonical approval" ceases to be helpful after one is admitted to canonical standing. What is at stake once one is professed is not approval, canonical or otherwise, but standing in law. If one's bishop determines that some action one has taken is seriously contrary to one's profession and consecration, then he can take actions to dispense the hermit's vows and remove her from the consecrated state of life. But let me be clear, depending on what we are talking about, the action would have to be very serious indeed. Ordinarily, a serious transgression would require a correction and warning that one is jeopardizing one's eremitical life in this way and then too, a second transgression in spite of the correction and warning. (Usually, we are dealing with patterns of behavior that the hermit refuses to change despite significant chances for rehabilitation.) Even then, the hermit can appeal the finding that deprives her of her vows and state of life. Simply speaking out on some issue or another is unlikely to rise to this level.

 I would assume that bishops and/or delegates will know about a hermit's blog, and certainly, they will know about it if the hermit posts frequently as I do. (This will indicate it is important in her life in some way, and most superiors will know what is important to someone they are working with.) Moreover, if the blog is useful in exploring dimensions of c 603, dealing with problems in implementing it, etc., they might encourage this activity. In other words, I don't see any reason bishops should not be reading a person's blog; they might truly benefit from it.

Excursus: Most diocesan hermits begin blogs, but few continue with the exercise. I have begun to invite other diocesan hermits to contribute here occasionally if they have something regarding eremitical life, spirituality, or c 603 life and spirituality particularly --- if they would like to share. I know that this blog has been helpful to some canonists and bishops, and of course, it has been helpful to those seeking to become c 603 hermits, so it would be really excellent if we could broaden the voices available here and deal with things I may not ordinarily focus on or be strong in. (So, notice to c 603 hermits, especially if I have not met you yet, if you feel like you would like to write a piece for this blog, please let me know. There are a couple of kinds of posts here that might already prepare the way for such contributions, we can pretty much do what it takes to make it work for you.)  A couple of persons are already thinking about what they might contribute, and one canonist has already written something on lauras; please give it some thought and prayer. (If you are a non-canonical hermit and would like to contribute to this blog, please let me know what you have in mind and we'll see what we can do!!)

That apparent tangent indicates that bishops do find this blog helpful in some ways and my sense is that a number of bishops may have read this blog during the kerfuffle with Cole Matson after Pentecost and found it helpful. I don't know whether Bp Michael Barber knows about or reads this blog, but I know my delegates are aware of it because I share about my writing with them, and at least sometimes, specific pieces and issues. In the beginning, I had some decisions to make about the place of this exercise in my life, particularly things like whether to allow comments or not. (My decision on that was that it made the boundary between my hermitage and the public too porous; I disallowed comments.) And over time it has assumed a shape and importance I never really expected. That means that I am not concerned with what any given bishop actually thinks of pieces within the blog itself. It does not matter if a single bishop here or there disagrees with my keeping a blog; it has been significant for my growth and contributed to an understanding of c 603 which is beneficial to the Church and to this specifically ecclesial vocation.

But of course, this blog is not the last word on c 603!! It is a contribution to ongoing discussions, nothing more nor less. If I find someone disagreeing with me on something important, the first thing I will do is listen and pray about it. The next thing I will do alongside these other things (if I think there could be merit in the disagreement or know the knowledgeability and trustworthiness of the person commenting) is to reread my Rule and the way I spoke there about solitude (your question's example), for instance. If there are footnotes in the Rule, or newer references I should also check, I will do that. Finally, especially if I am troubled by something or otherwise uncertain, I will bring the topic to my Director and discuss it and the way I am living it with her. The person who disagreed might represent a valid challenge with God asking me for something more or something different through their observations. At the same time, staying with your example of solitude, some versions of solitude are less about eremitical solitude than they are about isolation. While I believe in reclusion (which is always profoundly rooted in and dependent upon community), I regard isolation as unhealthy and unworthy of being chosen. 

Remember that, these kinds of questions can come up again in various ways over the years and will have been discussed and discerned as they do. If changes in my Rule were needed, then they were made. Still, the bottom line in all of this, I think, is that my Rule is something I live and tend to trust. It reflects a particular vision of canon 603 that the Church has approved as representing God's will for me. I don't live someone else's vision of c 603, but the one I have come to in dialogue with God in all the ways God speaks to me. If that means rejecting someone else's way of living the terms of the canon, for instance, then I will do that. If that means changes in praxis or understanding (and the rewriting of portions of my Rule), then I will discern and accomplish those necessary shifts.

Writing a Rule: Vision Before Legislation (part II)

 [[Hi Sister, you said recently that a Rule is about a vision of eremitical life before it is about legislation. I wondered if you could say more about this. I think it is easy in some ways to make a Rule a long or complicated to-do list but how does one make it into a vision one lives for the rest of one's life?]]

Thanks for this question, in the last years I have worked or am working with people approaching admission to profession according to C 603. In each case, I said I hoped the Rule they are or were writing would truly become an embodiment of the way God has been working in their lives and speaks to them in this canon. After all, the Canon describes a way of life where God is central, where everything is focused on letting God be God, and particularly, focused on letting God be God-With-Us in the silence of solitude through assiduous prayer and penance, etc. 

As I have written before, the Rule should reflect not only the letter (the literal terms) of the Canon but the singular lived experience that stands at the heart of the life it governs. This experience of letting God be God is the essence of what it means to be created, called to be, and made truly human as imago Christi. The solitary hermit in the consecrated state perceives and commits to the truth that this best occurs for her according to the terms and conditions that define her vocation canonically and without the community context that requires Rules (or Constitutions) to be shaped more generically.

I think this means that the solitary hermit's Rule should also reflect what it means for this particular person to have such a vocation and be called by God to be created and shaped by, as well as to be one who witnesses to and even mediates God's love in the really unique way her/his vocation makes possible and necessary. Such a person's Rule should convey something of what it means for them to be called by God not only to be a hermit, but to be a solitary canonical hermit whose commitments are made and whose life is lived, for God's own sake and for the sake of the salvation of others as well. Because this is not a Rule guiding and inspiring a community but an individual, because the charism of the vocation is discerned as part of a singular dialogue between Canonical requirements and the signal graces God has gifted this hermit with during her life, I am convinced the personal dimension of one's own story cannot and must not be omitted from the Rule of a C 603 hermit. To do this, to omit this personal dimension, is to turn the Rule into what I referred to in an earlier post as "an out-sized to-do list" that speaks to no one, perhaps not even the one who wrote it.

So what does this mean concretely? I think first of all it means constructing a Rule which tells (both you and others) not only what you will live but why you will and in fact, do commit to living this. For instance, besides an introductory section that summarizes some of my own story very generally, I will write about the specific elements of the canon and how I understand them. When I write about an element of the Canon like the silence of solitude, I do it from the perspective of someone who has experienced isolation and knows that the redemption of isolation is found in solitude. In fact, it is recognized as solitude. The achievement of God's redemption of isolation occurs for the hermit when she comes to genuine solitude. The details of one's experience of isolation is unlikely to be directly pertinent to one's Rule itself, but the sense of what isolation causes in us, how it affects our relationship with God, our faith, etc., could be helpful in spelling out the nature of the redemption achieved in solitude. This, in turn, will affect the way we think, pray, and write about solitude (and other elements as well!), how we protect and live these out, what conflicts with it (or them), impacts it, yearns for it, transforms it from curse to blessing, and so forth. 

Likewise, the way we see and write about "the silence of solitude" will be affected by all of this. In this term are we speaking merely about the absence of sound (like that which comes from turning off -- or throwing out -- the TV, etc), or are we speaking about something deeper as well --- the absence of woundedness and the resulting varied "cries" for comfort or attention that lead people in all kinds of unworthy or obnoxious directions, the effects of forgiveness and healing, the cessation of tendencies toward self-assertion, the quieting of fear and insecurities of all kinds --- that come when we stand strong as ourselves in the power of God's love? By extension then, are we also talking about the kind of silence that allows the deepest cries and yearnings of our heart to sound out clearly, to be heard and attended to? Yes, of course, the silence of solitude means first of all a physical silence and solitude associated with being alone (with God). That corresponds to my understanding of the silence of solitude as the context for eremitical life. But because of the life experience I bring to the hermitage and this context, that is only the beginning of the way I understand this central element in the Canon governing my life. Thus, besides treating the silence of solitude as context for eremitical life in my Rule, I also include "the silence of solitude" as goal (telos), and then as the charism of my eremitism and life. 

When I write (indirectly) about these personal things in my Rule, it is because I have a vision of the solitary life that appreciates both the silence of solitude and eremitical life together as a gift of God for myself, and for far more than myself! In a world fraught with isolation, woundedness and trauma, division, and noise on every level and of every possible type, a hermit living and exploring "the silence of solitude" as part of what it means to be truly or authentically human becomes a gift to that same world. More immediately, the hermit's Rule becomes the story of God working in her life and provides the outline of a vision of how to continue participating in that story! It is a vision she commits to grow into with God wherever this takes her. 

Canon 603 has a number of other requirements and each of them needs to be addressed in a similar way. These need to 1) imply one's own story with God, and 2) provide a vision of the life that may serve others who are searching and waiting to hear the Gospel as the answer to their own journeys --- even if they never step anywhere near a hermitage. What is absolutely critical is that in some way the hermit writing the Rule combines the requirements (central elements) of Canon 603 with her own life story, not because she cannot let go of her life before the hermitage, but because in every way, the Rule she is proposing to live indicates the continuation and fulfillment of a long journey towards redemption by God's love. It spells out a coherent way of living out the victory of that redemption as it has unfolded to bring her here and still continues to unfold in this new context and commitment. This is what it means to have a vocation; this is the vision she must hold onto when living that vocation becomes especially difficult or demanding. It is who she needs to be as she determines what she will also do to witness and continue responding to that Divine call.

As something of an aside, when I submitted my first Rule to my diocese back in @1984, it was sent off to a canonist to read and approve. She had a couple of comments regarding theology and then an observation about the nature of the document as a whole. She noted that it had a rather personal feel to it "but that in Rules of this sort" that was perfectly acceptable. Still, I remember feeling like her approval on this point was not unalloyed.  When I look back at that Rule today, I find it kind of laughable; it was certainly inadequate. The irony is that that personal tone and nature, something that was pretty new at that time (since such documents and the Canon that called for them were pretty new at this time) later was perceived as a key to discerning such vocations and providing a way of working out the formation of c 603 hermits.

On Limited Active Ministry and its Expansion to Fulltime Ministry

[[Hi Sister, you do limited ministry at your parish and out of your hermitage. Is there a chance that your ministry could expand and be more full time? I was wondering what happens to a hermit when something like that occurs. Can they remain hermits and work full time in ministry?]]

Great questions. Yes, I do limited ministry at my parish and I work as a spiritual director out of my hermitage. I cannot see any of that growing or expanding much -- though perhaps a bit -- but especially not to full time. Because of my commitment as a hermit I could not allow, much less pursue the expansion of my ministry to such a degree; this means I can't let things creep up in the way some might imagine. I am responsible for living my Rule of life and that Rule is very clear re what the primary values of my life are. Ministry is possible but it must be limited because the life is contemplative, and even more, it is eremitical.

I think part of what you are wondering about is what happens if a person decides they are really called to full time ministry despite being a hermit. In such a case the hermit (if they are publicly professed)  would have to consider petitioning her bishop for a dispensation from her vows as a hermit. If a hermit allowed ministry to grow to a level which impairs her commitment to prayer, contemplative, and eremitical life -- no matter how important that ministry is -- her diocese (bishop, delegate, et al) would need to act to, 1) bring things back in line with her canon 603 commitment, or (if attempts to do this fail) to,  2) dispense the hermit's vows.

It would be dishonest for a consecrated (that is, a publicly professed and consecrated) hermit to live under public vows thus committing to eremitical life publicly, and then to betray that commitment by allowing active ministry to take over her life. It would also indicate the need to work with her director and/or delegate to discern her actual vocation. I think it is obvious that such work would begin to take place before active ministry became full time. For instance, in my own life I have ordinarily brought up possibilities that arise for ministry to my Director. She listens to what I have discerned , encourages my work, discusses any areas where  I am unclear, and then I continue the process of discernment or act on my judgment.  The decision is mine but it will not be made without consideration of who I am committed to be and questions re how this works in terms of my Rule, vows, contemplative commitments, truest self, etc.

If I made some major changes in my ministry or Rule which led me along the road toward full time active ministry,  I suppose both my director/delegate and the bishop/diocese would allow some time for me to explore any decision I made in case of mistake and to further discernment. I also trust my own call and ability to discern well enough to believe I would discover a mistake sooner rather than later. Even so, were I to persist in a course of action which was inconsistent with my eremitical life, both my delegate and the diocese would need to take some action which would get me back on track or allow me to move on from my eremitical life. Dispensation of vows is a very big step whether or not I request it myself; it would not happen without some serious interviews and discussions between myself, my director/delegates, the bishop and/or Vicar for Religious and probably my pastor as well. Because we all want two things, 1) what is best for me, and 2) what is best for the solitary eremitical vocation, along with 3) what is best for the parish and Church more generally, we would work to achieve the best decisions possible. I think, generally speaking, this is the way it would work for any canonical solitary hermit. For those in community a similar process would occur within the congregation in conjunction with the hermit's bishop.

By the time someone makes perpetual profession as a canonical hermit everyone involved has a right to expect the hermit has rightly determined and lived a contemplative vocation for some time with limited active ministry. A diocese will have determined the person is happy and personally thriving (i.e., is abundantly alive and growing in that all the time) in this way of life, has made a series of mature decisions supporting this lifestyle, and is comfortable with the sacrifices it and eremitical life more specifically require. The hermit's Rule will express: 1) her understanding of eremitism as essentially ministerial of itself, 2) the hermit's own 'justification' of the life and 3) the sense she makes of the central elements of canon 603 (stricter separation from the world, assiduous prayer and penance, the silence of solitude, the evangelical counsels --- all lived for the sake of God's glory (revelation and honor) and the salvation of others). It should be clear from the hermit's Rule (or at least from related conversations with "formation" personnel" **) that she both believes profoundly in the importance of the eremitical life as a rare but vital proclamation of the Gospel, and also that she has experienced God's saving presence/love in this specific lifestyle.

 All of this makes it very unlikely a hermit will find herself in a situation like the one you outline where active ministry could expand to the degree you describe. The tension between life in solitude and the desire and even the very real and legitimate need for active ministry is something I have found to be a constant presence --- as I think I mentioned in an earlier post. As I grow in my own capacity for love, in my communion with God in solitary prayer, and in my own sense of belonging more integrally to my parish faith community, the tension between these two is sharpened -- though so too is my deep comfort with my eremitical call. It is a strange paradox. What is true for me at least is that I can only do active ministry to the extent it flows from my eremitical life and leads me back to my hermitage cell. Should that change for some reason it will be time for consultation with others.

** Here I am thinking of ongoing formation and those people who assist me in this, namely my Director/delegate, spiritual director, bishop, and perhaps too, my pastor. Prayer, journaling, and other work goes without saying, I think.

Questions on Writing a Rule of Life

[[Hi Sister Laurel,
       When you wrote your Rule how did you learn how to do it? I read where you suggest a candidate for profession under Canon 603 writes several different Rules over a period of time. Once one is solemnly or perpetually professed does the hermit continue to do this or can they just let the last Rule last for the rest of their lives? I am trying to write a personal Rule. Sometimes it feels like a good idea and other times I wonder why I am doing it? Did you ever have this kind of confusion? Do you have any advice for me?]]

Hi there yourself! I wrote my Rule over some period of time and learned only gradually as I did that. I learned especially as I reflected on how I lived, what Canon 603 called for (this took significant unpacking), and what I needed in order to live life fully and faithfully. I had some experience of what a Religious congregation's Constitutions or foundational documents might look like and what the Rule of Benedict consists in. Eventually (when I was considering rewriting my Rule sometime after final profession), my delegate also shared her own congregation's Constitutions and Statutes with me though I did not use these as models and I took time to study the Carthusian and the Camaldolese constitutions and statutes as well.

The first Rule I wrote was in @1985 and that was approved by canonists though I never used it for profession. I reworked it almost entirely in 2005 and that was approved both by canonists and by Archbishop Allen Vigneron in 2007; it was given a Bishop's Decree of Approval on September 2, the day of my perpetual profession under canon 603. In the last 11 years I have rewritten portions of this Rule and added a couple of sections which should have been included in the 2007 version but were omitted because my understanding of these canonical elements needed to mature. The last time I worked on my Rule in any formal way was around 2013 but of course I reflect fairly regularly on how I live it and need to live it. Because of the personal work I have undertaken over the last two years, the way I deal with the question of ongoing formation, for instance, needs to be looked at again. So does the section on the role of my delegate(s) or director(s). Clearly I don't think perpetual profession is the point at which a hermit ceases to rewrite her Rule --- though in my experience the need does become less pressing barring significant life changes.

In all of this I have been reflecting on what it means and takes to write a Rule. I have also been learning how it can and must function in my eremitical life and, by extension in the life of the Church's approach to canon 603 vocations. Because dioceses commonly use the Rule a hermit or candidate for profession writes as one very important basis for discernment of the vocation, I believe that a candidate/hermit seeking canonical standing under c 603 will need to write several Rules based on her maturing understanding of canon 603 specifically and eremitical life more generally. Similarly there will have to be a process of formation for an individual seeking canonical standing as someone living eremitical life in the Church's name. I have written before and remain convinced that for most candidates, writing several Rules which can provide dioceses and delegates/directors the basis for discerning the nature and quality of the vocation, a candidate's (or hermit's) needs in this regard, and the means for tailoring the diocese's input into the hermit's initial and ongoing formation, is a necessity for both hermit and diocese.

Personal Confusion and Ambivalence:

Your candor on how it feels to try and write a Rule is not surprising though the way you feel is not entirely familiar to me personally because I must have a Rule which I write and which functions appropriately for me in light of the Code of Canon Law. It is a requirement of canon 603 for any diocesan hermit. Moreover, it is difficult to see how one can live such a life without a Rule --- even or especially as one grows in the vocation --- so I have always had a clear reason for writing or rewriting a Rule. I don't suppose that helps you much of course but I do struggle with writing and empathize with what you say. I am sure you have a good reason you are composing a personal Rule. I would suggest you spend time getting in touch with that; first ask yourself why generally you are doing this and maybe write a paragraph or two about that and what purpose you hope the Rule will serve. Keep what you write with your notes on the Rule itself. It may help to inspire you when writing is difficult and shape what you write when it is not as difficult.

A second suggestion I have is to ask yourself why you are writing whatever specific section that is giving you trouble. Ask yourself if this is rooted in your own experience of need and your deep belief that you are called to this specific practice because it is life giving to you, or if instead for instance, you are writing about doing something or adopting a particular praxis because someone else does it or believes you should do it. Reflecting on and clarifying why you are proposing a specific spiritual practice, form of penance, prayer period or prayer form, etc. may help you resolve the difficulty you are having in writing.

The bottom line here is we include things in our Rules we feel deeply called to, not simply things we think others do or will approve of, and so on. Unless you are writing a Rule which must include the central elements of c 603 or an Episcopal Third Order, for instance, you are free to explore and create almost the entire shape of what you will live and thus, what your Rule will look like. (Even with c 603 there is tremendous freedom in shaping the way one lives the central elements of the canon and life as well as the Rule itself!) And of course even if you are writing your Rule because it is a requirement as noted above it should still reflect those things which are deeply life giving to you. Meanwhile, identifying other reasons for your ambivalence can also help you to proceed.

On Rules, Bishops, and Finding the Way With Canon 603

Dear Sister, could you comment on the following? It is an excerpt from a post on Citydesert: A Hermit's Christmas . You have written about Rules and writing them. I wonder if you agree with what this hermit has to say. Also, could you comment on the portion about bishops? I wonder if this resonates with your own experience? [[She admits, that although she is guided by her rules (sic) of life, there are times when she has to make it up as she goes along. As she embarked on her new path, she sought the blessing of the Most Rev Malcolm McMahon, then the Catholic Bishop of Nottingham. “He said: ‘We don’t do hermits.’ He didn’t know anything about it – although he did grow to like having a hermit in the diocese: it gave him kudos with the other bishops.”]]

 Thanks for your questions! I have read this article and recognize the section you cited. Let me say that Sister Rachel's descriptions of "making it up as she goes" and of her bishop's initial response resonate with me --- big time!! One of the reasons I chose to write my Rule in the way I did and encourage others to do the same is precisely because when one puts Gospel and principles of eremitical life before an emphasis on law one gets a Rule which is sufficiently structured but also allows the hermit the time and space to respond to the Holy Spirit in uniquely personal ways. In writing a Rule one simply cannot account for every contingency if one tries to write it in terms of "do's and don'ts". One needs instead the experience and insight to write a Rule which captures an authentic vision of eremitical life, states clearly the way one sees one's mission and charism, and then draws conclusions about specific do's and don'ts which are generally applicable. If one can do that the Rule will function well and also leave room for adjusting to unexpected situations and circumstances.

Another piece of all of this that helps the hermit to discern how she will act in such circumstances and situations is the feedback of her delegate. One of the reasons a canonical hermit has a delegate is because the hermit will need to discuss these kinds of things with someone who knows her and her life. For instance, last year I thought about doing something which my Rule could never have anticipated and I asked my delegate if she saw anything problematical with my doing what I was considering. She responded that so long as it was, 1)  consistent with my Rule, 2) consonant with my deep conscience, and was,  3) sensitive to my own health and/or physical needs, she could see no problem. She also noted that since I was thinking about a public action, I needed to consider whether or not I would wear my veil and/or cowl. And then, "Your decision." All of this was very helpful to me, especially since it defined what I had to consider and left the decision squarely in my own hands. (It also pointed up a couple of places my Rule could be more helpful in such cases --- exceptional though they might be!)

There is no way a Rule can anticipate, much less legislate every little (or big!) thing one may or may not do unless it is made to be essentially restrictive and contrary to the freedom of the hermit. At the same time it must be very clear about what the hermit is doing and why she is doing it. Clarity in this sense is about who a hermit is and how that is a response to God. When it is clear in this way discernment will be needed, of course, but it will also be possible. The Rule and one's own internalization of its articulated vision and mission then serves as a significant guide for one's discernment. Beyond this the hermit's delegate (who, in my experience, has a copy of and knows the hermit's Rule) will assist in specific thorny instances of discernment and help her in living this Rule with a flexibility which serves genuine fidelity.

This is not exactly "making it up as one goes" in a way which suggests the hermit is free to do anything at all at such times, but I think it is "making it up as one goes" in the way Sister Rachel was speaking of. Remember that in Sister Rachel's case, a diagnosis of cancer required significant changes in her schedule, degree of social contact, etc. Accommodating these kinds of needs while still keeping one's Rule (and thus, living out canon 503 in a personally faithful way) in an essential sense demands flexibility and discernment but it demands these within the context of the vision, mission, and gift of solitary eremitical life the hermit has spelled out in her Rule. When I wrote my own Rule I chose very specifically to focus on spelling out who I was and was called to be in terms of canon 603 and only thereafter, what specifically I was called to do or not do. I think this corresponds generally to the distinction between Gospel and Law. What I find to be true is that so long as a hermit knows, both intellectually and deep in her heart, who she is, discerning what she is to do will follow more easily --- even, and perhaps especially, in difficult situations and circumstances like those Sister Rachel faced. Fortunately canon 603 itself is both faithful to eremitical tradition and flexible enough to allow individual hermits to meet life's unexpected exigencies.

What Sister Rachel writes about her Bishop is certainly familiar to me. When I first began becoming a diocesan hermit and was petitioning for admission to public vows, I was working with the Vicar for Religious in a process of discernment. During this process because of another situation which "left a bad taste in his mouth", the bishop decided not to allow any professions under canon 603 for the foreseeable future. He did not communicate this to the Vicar however. I personally think the Bp had forgotten Sister Susan was working with me in regard to c 603 and innocently failed to communicate the matter to her. Whenever the decision was made it was only made known to Sister Susan after we had met for about five years and she was ready to recommend me to the bishop for profession; it was a difficult decision for both of us. In any case, I eventually petitioned again (or renewed my original petition) and was accepted for admission to vows. The time it took from the day I knocked on the chancery door, so to speak, to the day I was perpetually professed was 23 years.

Other dioceses have recognized that canon 603 is too-easily misused today or that it does not provide adequately for the solitary hermit's initial or ongoing formation. Some have decided the vocation itself (along with c 604) is not real, is merely a "fallback" vocation and do not allow for it. Some recognize that requiring hermits to be self-supporting is a double-edged sword: it is necessary to prevent those merely seeking a sinecure, but it may be unjust to those with genuine vocations to solitude --- especially as they age and become infirm. Some have had many would-be-candidates seeking admission to profession but found none of them suitable -- and they may be entirely correct in this! In the space of the last 34 years my own diocese has had only one person they professed specifically as a diocesan hermit; in the last 10 years (since I was perpetually professed) I know they have had many people knocking on the door about this (perhaps averaging one a month by one account) but none have been admitted to perpetual vows. In reviewing my own petition Archbishop Vigneron was very clear he needed to learn a lot before any decision could be made. Fortunately, he spent time doing that! So, what Sister Rachel writes about this is not unusual and something I definitely can resonate with, yes.

I can't comment on the second observation Sister Rachel makes about other bishops regarding her bishop because he decided to consecrate a diocesan hermit. I do know that Bishops seek out those with experience of hermits whom they have professed and consecrated in order to get a feel for how things work with the canon. Vicars, canonists, and diocesan hermits themselves may also be contacted for insight and information. But whether or not and how other bishops may regard those among them who have professed and consecrated c 603 hermits is not something I have any knowledge of.

I can say that it is my impression that some bishops "like" having hermits or like using canon 603 for "special cases" and profess more persons than they really should. Especially it is problematical when bishops have a number of hermits the majority of whom 1) have no formation,  and 2) are really just solitary individuals but not hermits; (some of these are active in terms of ministry and life rather than contemplative, and some are simply misfits who cannot live in community). Equally problematical are,  3) those who are unsuitable because of some psychological defects or defects in personality, and 4) those who desire to use the canon as a stopgap solution to beginning their own communities, for instance. The root of these problems come from bishops not having a clear idea of what constitutes eremitical life and most especially what constitutes the charism (gift quality) of this life. When bishops are clear in their own minds about the nature and gift this life represents to the Church and world they are much more likely to admit to profession those who show real understanding of these things and live them with a sense of mission. Without a clear sense of the charism ("the silence of solitude") of the vocation especially, bishops will continue to admit those without an authentic eremitic vocation to profession or, alternately, refuse to admit anyone to profession.

In any case, this recent history of misuse and abuse coupled with a long pre-canon 603 history of stories of eccentrics, stereotypical nutcases and misanthropes, is instrumental in making canon 603 something bishops eschew and shun learning anything more about. It is good that bishops turn to their confreres who have had experience with solitary diocesan hermits, not least because the vocation is rare and when there are "success" stories to hear bishops should be made aware of them. Problematical areas need to be clarified, discernment and formation issues dealt with in ways which allow for better and wider recognition of genuine vocations., and stories of failures need to be analyzed so that bishops know what kinds of things are danger signs. Again. in all of this Vicars, canonists, and diocesan hermits and their delegates can be good sources of information as well.

On Living Under Obedience as a Consecrated Hermit

[[Hi Sister, I am wondering how a contemporary hermit lives obedience in the religious life?  Of course you are obedient to your vows, but in daily life, in choosing your occupation (or a decision not to have one), do you have a way of living under obedience.  If not, does this present problems in striving for holiness?  I don't want to bother with all the ramifications of the subject, as I am sure you are aware of them all, and we need not go into a lengthy theological discussion.  I was just wondering. Thanks,]]

Thanks for the questions. Remember that obedience means first of all hearkening to the will of God as it comes or is mediated to us in many ways. Those include not just one's vows, but also Scripture, prayer, liturgy and the Sacraments, the ordinary circumstances of life, one's Rule or Plan of Life, the discernments of one's legitimate superior (Bishop and delegate), other significant persons in our lives (pastor, spiritual director, physicians, good friends, et al) and of course, the voice of God in one's heart (which is usually involved in all of these others). It seems to me that contemporary consecrated hermits (and other religious) learn obedience and grow in their responsiveness to God by attending to God's voice as it is mediated in ALL of these ways (and some I may not have mentioned).

In other words, obedience is not limited to one or two channels, like vows and legitimate superior --- though of course these are privileged ways God can and does speak to us. Several of these many channels of God's will are not only privi-leged ways to living in obedience but they are also ways the hermit is bound in law; specifically, I am thus bound, both morally and legally by vows, Rule, and legitimate superior (the Diocesan Bishop and my delegate). (While in spiritual direction I feel called to an obedience every bit as real and life giving as with any of these others it is not a legal bond.)

I am not quite sure I understand your question about choosing an occupation or not to have one. I am a hermit and that IS my occupation. However, if you are referring to discerning a way of supporting myself as a hermit then it is certain that my state and form of life, and of course my Rule, limit significantly the kinds of occupations I may choose to engage in. Beyond this, of course, my bishop and delegate might have some significant input in certain situations, but generally the decision about forms of work I may undertake are limited to consideration of 1) the education and training I have for them, 2) whether I can continue to live my Rule with integrity and still undertake whatever form of work is being considered, and 3) whether this form of work is consistent with the life of a consecrated hermit and religious. It may be that in some special circumstances some kind of temporary dispensation or waiver may be needed in order to adopt a form of work I would not ordinarily do but in such a case it would need to clearly be temporary (I would argue a definite time frame and limits need to be specified) and I would need not only to have discerned the wisdom of such an accommodation but my Bishop and/or delegate would need to approve.

A c 603 hermit lives her entire life under obedience --- though this does not ordinarily mean under the micromanagement or detailed commands of superiors. It means under the sway of God as his Word and will come to her in Scripture and prayer, in the everyday circumstances of her life, and so forth. The hermit's Rule governs her entire life and, as already noted, she is bound morally and legally to honor and live that out with integrity. Personally, I reflect on my Rule a lot. It engages me on a number of levels; not only does it legislate but more fundamentally it inspires and reminds me who I am, to what I am called, and why I am committed in the way I am. From my perspective it is more deeply and extensively compelling in terms of obedience than even legitimate superiors. This is one of the reasons dioceses have to be sure that hermits have been given every opportunity over time to develop a mature and livable Rule before they admit a hermit to vows of any sort.

I hope this is helpful and gets to the heart of your question.

Questions On Writing a Rule of Life

[[Dear Sister Laurel, I am writing a Rule for myself and I have checked around online for examples and advice. I have read the articles you have written and also found an example of a Rule from another Catholic Hermit which is called "the nine S's". I think hers is a very different way of approaching writing a Rule than you suggest but it sounds easier to do. I am wondering if I could make it work for myself. Not sure I would use S's but I can't think of another letter that would work in the same way. Do you have any suggestions for me in this? You also recently said something about if a hermit's Rule was detailed enough. What did you mean?]]

Thanks for your questions. I appreciate them, but I also need to ask you a couple of questions. Why are you seeking to write a Rule? Is it for yourself as you are currently living because you think it is a good idea, or is it because you are seeking to become a hermit? If it is the latter, are you seeking to become a canonical or consecrated hermit under canon 603 or will you remain a lay hermit? I will address each of these in turn so take them for what they are worth to yourself personally. The question about a Rule being detailed enough is answered implicitly here. If this is not clear, please let me know that and I will add a bit which addresses this explicitly.

Writing A Rule for Yourself:

If you are seeking to write a Rule for yourself alone (and not, say, for your diocese and profession under c 603) then there are many ways to do it. How ever you choose to do this, you will want to make sure you manage to reflect how it is that God works in your own life as well as the practices and principles that support that. The Rule needs to function 1 ) to inspire and 2) to regulate or, in some instances, even to govern your life. For this reason some of the posts you have already read will help you. For instance, one post recommends you start by writing about how God is at work in you and your life. That remains good advice no matter what reason you are desiring to write a Rule.

Also, when you get to the point where you are ready to write an experimental Rule, while you won't want to get bogged down in details you will want to spell things out to some degree. For  example, if your Rule includes prayer, then you will want to indicate the main ways you pray and when (meaning that you will note whether and how you generally pray at dawn or morning or noon, evening, or night, not necessarily that you specify a specific hour). You see, writing "prayer" all by itself will not really be sufficient.  Not only is it "rootless", but neither is it linked to any concrete praxis or goals. After all, we all know that prayer is an important part of the Christian's life. Simply listing "prayer" will not serve in the way a Rule should serve. (More about this below.)

As another example, if you wish to build in silence then you will probably want to look at what ways your own life is too noisy, or is not geared to attentive listening to God and your own heart and begin by correcting those. Then you can consider what kinds of silence you want to build in as well and do the same thing you did with prayer. It will not be enough to simply list "silence" as part of your Rule because, again,  you would not be indicating where or when (much less why) you keep silence.  A Rule is not merely a piece of personal law to which you are committed (though for the publicly professed hermit it is certainly that); it is also meant to serve as a trellis or handrail that helps you know and honor in all of your activities and choices the shape of the journey you are making with God and why. If you (or I for instance) were to say, "Silence is one of the main terms of my Rule" or even "Silence is my Rule," the logical questions anyone would have a right to ask are, what and when do you mean? Do you answer phone calls? Do you talk to friends? Do you use sign language to communicate with clients?! Do you mean you never pray out loud or speak to others? Why are you doing this? Why is silence important and how does it contribute to a really responsive and loving life centered on Christ?

This leads to my next observation, namely, it is true that the "Rule" you referred to is a lot easier to write, but, in my personal opinion, it hardly makes sense as a way to either inspire or regulate the way one lives. Nor does it do justice to the dignity of your own calling which is meant to be an organic whole reflecting an integrated response to God. Let me give you a couple of examples. One of the "9 S's" is serenity, but how does one regulate the practice of serenity? How does one commit to or grow in it? Does it refer to an external appearance or to an inner state? If one is not serene in a time of crisis or great grief then is one transgressing the terms of her Rule?  How does serenity fit in your life and why is it part of your Rule? Why was this chosen as a central element of a "Rule" and how does it relate to other elements?

The same is partly true of "slowness." What is one committing to here and why? Is it because the person is hyperactive? Careless about things or usually rushed? When is one failing to observe one's Rule? When is one succeeding? If one has to complete a project because of a deadline, can one simply proceed as slowly as possible and forget about the deadline? And how is slowness related to serenity or any of the other "9 S's"? In some way or shape one has to determine the dimensions of Christian spirituality which are defining characteristics of one's own life and commit to these in a way which truly makes one's life Christ like in the way God is calling one to. It is very unlikely a list of disparate words without theological or personal context will do this, much less a list of "spiritual terms" which are more or less arbitrarily chosen because they all start with the same letter of the alphabet. The elements of a Rule need to fit together as recognizable dimensions of a single clearly integrated call while the one writing the Rule is responsible for achieving this insofar as she is able.

I agree that it is true that writing this kind of Rule is not an easy project, but I think especially that it cannot be short-circuited by merely creating a list of relatively impersonal characteristics one would like to live. A vocation is about the person you are and are becoming, not merely about characteristics and, at least the way I understand a Rule, it needs to provide a way to be the person God is calling you to be.

In any case, while lists of characteristics can be helpful, especially if they help call our attention to ways we often fall short in or remind us of the ways God gifts us, unfortunately, such a list is not a Rule or Plan of Life in the sense most Christians or the Church herself understands the term. First of all, it has no demonstrable contact with us as persons or with the shape of our everyday life. Secondly, a Rule like the one you mentioned is not livable because nothing is actually defined --- neither as expectations or as limits. How much silence and when? How much poverty and of what sort? Obedience to whom and with what limitations? When we have limits we may transgress them occasionally, but without them we don't even have a way to begin attempting to live our lives. To specify "prayer" as a piece of our Rule, for instance, without some concrete expectations and goals makes success impossible and failure a foregone conclusion. Thus, if you choose important terms like the "9 S's", make sure they have a clear connection to your own life and reflect the concrete ways God is calling you to live that.

If You are Thinking of Becoming a Lay Hermit:

If you are thinking about becoming a hermit, and here I mean a lay hermit whether with private vows or not (because, after all, you will need to start here before seriously considering, much less actually discerning consecrated eremitical life if that is in your mind or heart at all), you will need to have a clear idea first of all what the central elements of any eremitical life are. Canon 603 lists these (Stricter separation from the world, meaning from that which is resistant to Christ, the silence of solitude, assiduous prayer and penance, the evangelical counsels of poverty, chastity in celibacy, and obedience, all lived according to a Rule for the praise of God and salvation of the world). This last element is really important since it says to you and everyone else why you are doing this (and in fact, why any authentic hermit embraces a solitary desert existence). Once again, your Rule should not simply list these elements but indicate the shape of the life which embodies them. Moreover, it should indicate the shape of your own life; your own life is a specific and unique embodiment of these elements and the Christian and/or eremitical life they characterize.

If you are Thinking of Becoming a Solitary Consecrated (C 603) Hermit:

Finally, if you are thinking of becoming a canonical hermit, that is a professed and conse-crated solitary hermit who lives the eremitical life in the name of the Church, then you will take all of the above, live the elements listed for some time, and then write a Rule which will serve your own life but also be exemplary for others seeking to live similar lives. I have written a lot about this already and there is no need to say more about it at this point. What is important to reiterate here is that this Rule will not be unlivable. It will not be a simple list of unrelated terms without specifying limitations and expectations. If you do choose to write this kind of "Rule", for whatever reason, please be aware your Diocese is simply unlikely to approve it. More, they are unlikely to view you as someone who is ready to be professed under canon 603.

You see, in my experience, the Rule a hermit produces is an important part of the diocese's discernment of the nature and quality of the vocation in front of them. Writing an adequate Rule of Life is a lot of work, yes, and it will require several drafts over time before it truly is both livable and sufficiently challenging. Even so, it will reflect your formation, persistence in prayer and otherwise, capacity for introspection, discernment, and obedience, and it will witness to the way God has been present in bringing you to this point. I urge you, therefore, to read again the posts having to do with writing a Rule, where to start, etc, and especially those which refer to formation and the different Rules which are apt to mark different stages of personal formation. You might decide to start with a list of words like the "9 S's" you referred to, but within a year or two you should be ready to write something approaching a more livable and organic Rule and in several more years you will have refined that even further into something that is truly your own --- that is, truly a reflection of and way of honoring the vital  and dynamic shape of your journey with God AND an application and continuation of the ancient eremitical tradition in our own time and circumstances.

Writing a Rule of Life: When Should a Diocese Request One Write a Rule?

[[Dear Sister Laurel, when should one write a Rule of Life? You have written that a Rule can only be written on the basis of lived experience. If a diocese asks one to do so right away what should one do?]]

You have put your finger on one of the most problematical elements of Canon 603 and of diocese's approach to its requirements, namely, the request that someone write a Rule of Life before they are really ready to do so, that is before someone has the lived experience and education (in things like the vows, etc) to do so. As I have written here before, the actual preparation for and writing of a Rule is one of the most formative experiences a hermit will have; it is also something one can only do on the basis of ample reading, reflection, and lived experience. This is because it is not simply a list of do's and don't's but a document which codifies the vision and values of the hermit's life in their interplay with eremitical tradition and the world in which the hermit lives (cf Negotiating the Tensions between Tradition and the Contemporary Situation); a Rule is the way she ensures the environment needed for God to love her (and vice versa) in the silence of solitude as well as achieving the goal of her life which IS the silence of solitude (eremitical communion with God in service to those precious to him). Thus, it should inspire before it legislates and it should legislate only as it inspires.

At the same time the Rule is the single concrete element of canon 603 which lends itself to a diocese's directives; for this reason there is a tendency for chancery personnel to ask candidates to go and write one whether there has been time to discern whether the person has the experience to do so or not. Meanwhile, the Rule that is eventually written by a candidate will help allow the diocese to discern the quality of vocation in front of them. All of this argues that, tempting as it is to do otherwise, the directive to write a Rule should not, and in fact must not, be given prematurely. Still, the hermit candidate needs some sort of provisional Rule or set of guidelines to help her live her life, and her diocese may be seriously tempted to ask her to write A single "finished" Rule before she is really ready, so what is the solution? Part of what follows is meant for dioceses; some will apply to you more directly. I hope that all of it will help you to understand what actually goes into the writing of a Rule.

1) begin with a set of guidelines. Here I merely mean a list of those things the diocese or church more generally expects to see in the life of an authentic hermit. These may come from the diocese or from the hermit herself as a result of her own study --- whichever is more comprehensive. Obviously the elements of canon 603 will be part of this (I will not go into those here), but, for instance, the single element of assiduous prayer will imply various kinds of prayer: Liturgy of the Hours, quiet prayer, meditation, lectio divina, rosary, Mass or Communion service, adoration, chant, Taize, etc.

(N.B., Any one hermit may not use all of these forms of prayer all the time, but she should be acquainted with them and have worked with her director to determine which ones are best for her at this point in time as well, for instance, as which ones work well when she is ill, on vacation or otherwise away from the hermitage, etc). Similarly, elements included in these guidelines will likely include study, recreation, work, contact with others, retreat, desert days, parish involvement, finances, horarium, meals, hospitality, home visits or visits with friends, vacation, spiritual direction, meetings with one's delegate, ongoing education or formation, etc. These should be related to the content of the vows one proposes  eventually to make and the central elements of canon 603 so they reflect the hermit's appreciation of the values and charism (gift quality) of the life.

Over time the hermit will try a variety of forms and combinations of these elements and, with the help of her director and delegate, discover what works best for her. Each experimental version or "configuration" of these elements should be balanced and include prayer, work, study, recreation, etc. Each one should show a real understanding and living out of the elements of the canon and thus, the values and charism of solitary eremitical life. (cf. Notes From Stillsong Hermitage: Appreciating the Charism of Diocesan Eremitical Life) Only when she has done this and discovered which configuration best allows for her own growth in wholeness and holiness in the silence of solitude is she actually ready to write a workable Rule of Life which can be submitted to the diocese.

2) At the end of a period of 2-3 years or so  of supervised experimentation (it could take longer; is is very unlikely to take less time unless the person has already lived vowed life for some period of time) and prior to admission to temporary vows, the diocese can ask the hermit (or the hermit may decide it is time) to write a provisional Rule which will bind her legally during her period of temporary vows. It should probably be understood that with the help of the hermit's director and delegate some elements may be changed in response to changes in her life or greater discernment or clarity, but these changes must be approved or otherwise made under diocesan supervision.

Part of the process of  both discernment and formation however involves learning whether one can as well as how to really live a Rule of Life which is considered and restrictive as well as life-giving and freeing. A Rule cannot include merely what one finds amenable at this point in time; it must be capable of challenging one to grow in the discipline and spirit of the eremitical life. Though it must not do so slavishly or apart from significant dialogue with the contemporary situation, it must reflect the eremitical tradition with real integrity or it is unworthy of the name. Patience and perseverance are part of the eremitical life and one must know one is able to live these elements on a day to day basis over a period of years in a way which leads to genuine wholeness BEFORE one is admitted to vows.

3) Six-eight months before perpetual or solemn vows are anticipated, the hermit should begin writing a definitive Rule which becomes canonically binding on the day of solemn/perpetual profession and will be approved first by canonists and then with a Bishop's Decree of Approval. (This period of time is chosen to allow sufficient time for writing and also to allow the diocese time for consultation with canonists, etc, which may lead to a need for re-writing and re-consultation. The fact that one has already written a Rule prior to temporary vows should be a big help here.) Despite the definitive nature of this Rule, a diocese (or the hermit!) should not be surprised to find that in several years she wishes to revise it in some significant way -- whether that is because she has embraced new prayer forms, must accommodate illness (or health!)  in new ways, has grown in her understanding of some element of canon 603 or the charism of her life, etc.

A Rule is a working document, a text for reflection and inspiration as well as being a legislative document. Like the Sabbath it is there for the sake of the hermit's life, not the other way around. Even so, at this point, my personal experience is that the changes that are needed will tend to be less substantive than earlier and ordinarily these will reflect significant growth in one's understanding of the vocation or significantly changed circumstances like illness, etc. One is no longer finding her way with the vocation in the same way she was before temporary vows or even just before perpetual profession. In other words, the changes needed at this point are usually the result of greater maturity in the life rather than immaturity and experimentation.


Regarding your specific question, if your diocese asks you to write a Rule before you feel you are ready, discuss this with them. If you like, discuss this article or others you have read on writing a Rule. Most of the time a diocese merely wants to be sure you are living an ordered life given over to the elements of canon 603. Often the people making the request have never written a Rule themselves and do not know what is required --- again, this is the single element of the canon they can point to for a concrete result. Even so, they are usually more than willing to give you the time this project truly requires. (I have never heard of a diocese hurrying a person in this. Though prematurity in requesting a Rule is a problem, any perceived  urgency is more often of the candidate's own making.) Writing up a set of guidelines or even a provisional Rule which you do not mean to be vetted by canonists or yet shown to your Bishop for approval should be acceptable to whomever is assisting you at the diocesan level. Let them know you are growing in this and that you anticipate writing another Rule in a couple of years when you are more experienced. Personally I think they will see this as a sign that you know what you are doing (and also as an admission of awareness of your own limitations!) --- both positive signs for a diocese.

Followup on Hermits and Home Visits (Critical questions)

[[Dear Sr,  How can it be edifying to your family if they are not Catholic if you are unfaithful to your Rule during home visits?? Its not that I think you shouldn't see your  family sometimes but I don't think the Carthusians get to go home for visits. They are the real deal. Can't your family visit you where you are?. . . I guess I wonder why do hermits need to go away to visit family and friends anyway?. . . You are vowed to a life of constant prayer and penance like the Carthusians.. . . And what about stricter separation from the world??]]

Wow, where to begin? I am not going to answer every specific question but I will give you enough to draw sound conclusions about where I stand on these things. Thus, I guess the place to start is with a post I put up about hermits and "vacations." That can be found here: Notes From Stillsong Hermitage: Hermits and Vacations but what is most important about it is probably a text taken from Cassian's Conferences which demonstrates both that there is nothing new in your own objections nor anything novel in my own need for (or practice of) time away from the hermitage and its stricter rhythms. As I cited there:

[[IT is said that the blessed John, while he was gently stroking a partridge with his hands suddenly saw a philosopher approaching him in the garb of a hunter, who was astonished that a man of so great fame and reputation should demean himself to such paltry and trivial amusements, and said: "Can you be that John, whose great and famous reputation attracted me also with the greatest desire for your acquaintance? Why then do you occupy yourself with such poor amusements?" To whom the blessed John replied: "What is it," said he, "that you are carrying in your hand?" The other replied: "a bow. "And why," said he, "do you not always carry it everywhere bent?" To whom the other replied: "It would not do, for the force of its stiffness would be relaxed by its being continually bent, and it would be lessened and destroyed, and when the time came for it to send stouter arrows after some beast, its stiffness would be lost by the excessive and continuous strain. and it would be impossible for the more powerful bolts to be shot." "And, my lad," said the blessed John, "do not let this slight and short relaxation of my mind disturb you, as unless it sometimes relieved and relaxed the rigour of its purpose by some recreation, the spirit would lose its spring owing to the unbroken strain, and would be unable when need required, implicitly to follow what was right."]] John Cassian, Conferences. Conference of Abbot Abraham, chapter XXI, but cf. chapter XX of the same book which is also very helpful in this matter.

While it is true that John was speaking of a very brief time away from his eremitical discipline (if, indeed, this was even considered time away; he seems simply to have been taking a quiet moment like I might with my cat) he raises the question of a hermit determining what is necessary for her to remain in good shape in terms of this very discipline. (The story would be equally effective if used to illustrate the principle of judging from exterior appearances.) Remember that eremitical life is intense and focused on growing in authentic holiness. Much of a day is spent in prayer and penance and that often means in doing battle with the demons of one's own heart. In other words personal growth work is demanding and tiring. One cannot keep focused on it without these kinds of breaks or changes in one's focus. Beyond this, eremitical life demands hospitality and often this ministry to others takes a form in which they are loved as they need to be loved. In my own life this ordinarily takes the form of spiritual direction. This too is intense --- though it is usually as nourishing as it is challenging. Still, every truly spiritual life demands what is often called "holy leisure"  or it really will cease to be capable of perceiving or responding adequately to its source.

After all, we are each called to discern what the Holy Spirit calls us to in changing circumstances and fresh situations. A Rule is immensely helpful in this,  but in my opinion, it really cannot spell everything out. Instead it often serves a person more like a banister on a stairway ---  helpful when the climb gets tiring or too steep, protecting us and keeping us from stepping off the treads or falling, and giving us something to hold onto as we move forward in the darkness of night, but it is not the stairway itself.  I do continue to live my Rule, or more accurately maybe, the eremitical life it defines on home visits or on visits with friends but the usual horarium is suspended.

What is Edifying to my Family and Friends?

To be very blunt, I don't think it would be at all "edifying" or upbuilding for members of my family to see me as a self-righteous prig who was incapable of loving, taking delight in them and time with them, or who is prevented from being able to be truly being present to them on a home visit. (Better one forego any visits than play the hermit during one.) For that matter I don't think my delegate, my pastor, other parishioners, the Vicar for Religious or my Bishop would find that particularly edifying either. I'm pretty sure God wouldn't care much for that arrangement! In a word, I find it offensive and pretentious. What you seem to me to be missing is that a home visit doesn't mean simply blowing off one's vocation or one's commitment to it. It means living it in different ways so the usual framework (banister or trellis) doesn't get in the way of those who want some significant share in the person WITH the vocation. In some ways I see my more usual schedule and eremitical praxis as preparing me for and being tested for its soundness by these moments, not preventing them.

Also, it is here the distinction between playing a role as a hermit and living an eremitical life becomes sharpest and most important. It is in these moments that I (and others) see most clearly the hermit I have become --- not because I do a lot of stereotypically "hermit things" or keep a detailed hermit schedule, but because at these times when the banister is removed  I live these days with the heart of a hermit for whom communion with God is an everyday reality and the silence of solitude brings something new and unexpected to my family and friends as well -- someone joyful, more whole and more loving, someone they could not have experienced in this way so clearly apart from her life as a hermit. To use another image, when a plant is given a trellis to help it grow straight and strong, removing the trellis --- at least temporarily --- can show us how strong the plant is becoming. More, it can subject the plant to new and necessary stresses and pressures which allow it to grow even stronger and more independent. Plants need this time just as they need the trellis. But most importantly these times can show us who the hermit really is and allow us each and all to take delight in one another and who God has made us.

I think it is THIS that will be edifying and even inspiring to my family (and friends) and this which will speak powerfully to them about the God I want them to know as I know him. (I accept that they know him in their own ways as well, by the way). I hope this makes some sense to you. You see, I am not trying to sell my family on eremitical life or even on the Catholic faith (though I would love for them to discover it as a way to Christ and abundant life for themselves); I want them to know the God who makes all things new and heals us of all brokenness and inhumanity. The only way that happens is by knowing the person I become in light of that God. THAT is what will be really edifying to them or to anyone.

On Carthusians, Camaldolese, and Stricter Separation from the World:

Carthusians are not the only species of the genus "hermit" to exist and I am not a Carthusian. I am Camaldolese in my spirituality and for that reason my life reflects (and I hope will do so more and more) the threefold good of Camaldolese life: solitude, community, and evangelization or martyrdom (witness). Each of these is a dimension of what is sometimes called "The Privilege of Love." All hermits who live the silence of solitude on a daily basis are the "real deal" and I would suggest that is something you need to get your mind and heart around despite your preferences for the form of eremitical life lived by the Carthusians.

Still, let me remind you, Carthusians, who are bound by cloister in ways diocesan hermits are not, have guest houses as part of their monastery and families may come there to stay to see their son/daughter or brother/sister (etc) 2 days per year. I don't have that kind of  accommodations available. Neither, unfortunately, do I see my family that often (though it would be entirely permitted). The real point however is that home visits or visits by one's family are allowed and universally seen as an important part of healthy eremitical life; they are important for the family as well. As noted above, hermitage life is not one of  "peace and quiet"  if by that one means a life where one simply kicks back and does nothing or is completely taken up with rest and recreational activities (again in the common sense of those terms).

Finally, regarding stricter separation from the world I would ask that you check the labels both below and to the right. I have written a good bit about this in the past and I am not going to repeat it here. The posts you are asking about also touched on this. I will point out that when I suggest a hermit (or anyone else) can structure home visits in a way which is best and most lifegiving for everyone that can be considered a form of "stricter separation" --- especially when "world" is seen in terms of that which is destructive, resistant to life and truth, etc. It is not its usual meaning but it comports with this nonetheless.