Evaluating a Little of What I have Learned from the Past Couple of Months

The past couple of months have been particularly challenging both here at Stillsong and in this Notes From Stillsong blog. I have written at least once every day or two and responded to some difficult questions I would rather not have had to deal with. At the heart of it all is a subject who contends she would like to be made a c 603 hermit despite having reviled the vocation for at least fifteen years on various blogs and in a series of YouTube vlogs. As you might imagine, the situation has generated a lot of questions (only a few of which I have posted) which, personalities aside, can serve to help sharpen the process of discernment and formation for c 603 hermits presently being developed for dioceses that might make use of it. So, these couple of months (and a lot of the past 17 years) have provided lots to think about, surprises with problems I never could have foreseen or perhaps even imagined, and opportunities to explore the ins and outs of c 603 for the sake of the Church --- which makes this all a joy.

The most important things that have been underscored for me during these weeks have been the foundational aspects of c 603 vocations: these solitary hermit vocations are public and ecclesial. I have said this again and again through the past almost two decades, and the importance of these two elements in forming the candidate's sensibilities concerning eremitical life generally and consecrated c 603 life particularly cannot be overstated. Related to this is the candidate's understanding that public or canonical means public rights and obligations the Church extends to the candidate which s/he embraces. S/he must approach profession, consecration, and life after these performatory "moments" and within the reality they create in a way that is both uniquely responsive to the Church's mission in the contemporary world and sensitive to and reflective of the ancient eremitical tradition s/he now represents. There are some questions and concerns that have been raised particularly during this time, and my sense is dioceses must definitely raise these with every candidate they consider for profession and/or consecration during the first couple of sessions they hold with the candidate.

For instance, it is important to ask directly what the person knows about Canon 603. How has its existence and its essential elements shaped his/her eremitical journey? (We need to ask about each of these elements individually in this regard.) What is its history (both remote and immediate) and why was it established? Does s/he understand, for instance, that it was not primarily established to deal with abuses in eremitical life, but rather because the Universal Church had finally come to esteem this vocational gift of God? Does s/he understand why and how this vocation is prophetic and a gift to the Church, and to every person making up this body --- particularly to the marginalized, the chronically ill and disabled, the poor and elderly?  Is s/he ready to take on that role and to grow in it even if s/he must (perhaps) change some ingrained ideas about the eremitical life itself?  Does s/he understand that ironically, the canon's constraints provide a realm of freedom the Church extends to him/her so that s/he may grow in communion with God for the sake of others, or does s/he see the canon as some kind of straightjacket used to hem in the hermit or a penal code mainly meant to correct errors? If the hermit sees the canon in the first light it can be a joy to him/her and his/her eremitical life; if it is seen in the second light, s/he may never be empowered to discover its depths and beauty with his/her own eremitical life. These questions are important for those discerning such vocations as well.

Similarly, does the candidate have at least a glimpse of the canon's charism? Does s/he perceive and appreciate the way the vocation-as-canonical is a gift to the Church and serves in the proclamation of the Gospel? How does s/he relate to this gift quality? Does s/he understand the defining elements of the canon as doorways to worlds s/he is called to explore with and in God, or are they instead perceived as narrow gates to a single rigid meaning with little relevance to most people's lives? Does s/he approach the life under c 603 with the heart and mind of a beginner or as someone who believes it has nothing to teach him/her, nothing to surprise him/her with, and nothing to delight him/her day by day? These questions themselves lead to questions regarding the candidate's theological sophistication or lack thereof. It is important that there be real competence, not that the hermit needs to be a theologian, but that s/he is able to negotiate traditional sources of spirituality and eremitical life in light of contemporary voices and scholarship and the light of his/her own prayer as well.

A penultimate question (at least for tonight!) that must be asked as well is about the hermit candidate's use of media, social and otherwise. For instance, if the hermit candidate has a public-facing presence (blogs or vlogs), then these need to be checked out and discussed with the candidate. It is especially important to do this when there are several blogs that correspond to different periods of the candidate's life and relationship with the Church. Patterns of behavior and personal difficulty that might not be entirely evident otherwise can be perceived when these avenues are explored. A particularly crucial question that may sometimes go unasked is, "Why are you seeking to be professed under c 603?" In recent weeks, that particular question became particularly urgent and problematical for some who wrote me in light of so much blog and vlog material denouncing and reviling c 603, the motives, character, and fidelity to c 603 itself of c 603 hermits, or of the bishops who approve such vocations. After at least 15 years of this kind of material, as well as an obstinate insistence that one is already a consecrated Catholic hermit, it becomes a compelling question those discerning the vocation standing before them, must know to ask!! In fact, it is this question that calls for all of the other ones I have mentioned here.

My thanks to those who have written this month and last with questions and concerns. You have helped me in my own vocation (especially my vocation within a vocation) and contributed to the ongoing project I am working on regarding the discernment and formation of c 603 vocations. Individual situations with c 603 candidates come and go, but the ability to help the Church learn from them is important and you have been especially helpful in that. It truly has been a fruitful if challenging number of weeks! Again, thank you.

Questions on Hermits and Sunday Obligation (Reprise)

[[Sister, are you allowed to skip your Sunday obligation? A Catholic Hermit [link to this blog provided and omitted here] wrote that she is able to do this because it is God's will and (according to How Did Hermits Keep Their Sunday Obligation?) apparently an historical right of hermits. I don't understand how this works. Have hermits always been able to skip the Sunday obligation?]]

In general I do not skip my Sunday obligation, no,  though yes, in some circumstances I am allowed to.  If I am required to miss Mass on Sunday for some good reason (usually illness but occasionally the requirements of the silence of solitude and stricter separation) I ordinarily participate some other time during the week if that is possible. It is possible for a hermit who is publicly professed and who has assumed the additional canonical obligations of the eremitical life in the consecrated state to miss Sunday Mass because extended solitude and the call to eremitical solitude itself necessitates this; but remember that in such a case the hermit will ordinarily participate in a Liturgy of the Word with Communion in her own hermitage. This does not equate to participating in Mass but it does have a distinctly communal sense to it in the same way Communion brought by EEMs has the sense of continuing a Eucharistic celebration.

Moreover, because this is a matter of legitimate rights and obligations, she will only do so if she is allowed according to her Rule and with the general permission of her Bishop (given mainly in his official declaration of approval of her Rule).  It will, in such a case, not be enough to simply list "solitude" as a value in one's Rule without specifying how this is worked out or at least indicating it will be effectively and sensitively combined with other important values (like a hermit's necessary Sacramental life!). Further, in specific instances, especially of  very prolonged solitude, she will discuss the matter with her director occasionally to be sure her praxis here is prudent and that her solitary ecclesial vocation is not suffering from isolation from the faith community (this also happens at the involvement end of things when she will meet with her director or delegate to be sure her involvement is not detracting from her vocation to the silence of solitude).

In general, however, I have to say that even when I am living a more extended and intense physical solitude which involves seeing no one and not attending daily Mass at all, I will generally get to Sunday Mass at least once or twice a month --- not least because of the Eucharistic theology which sustains my life in the hermitage. While the obligations I assumed in profession and consecration may allow or even oblige me to live my physical solitude with an intensity and integrity which sometimes means missing Mass it does not EVER allow me to completely turn my back on my baptismal obligation or pretend the last 10 centuries never occurred.

The idea that missing Sunday Mass is an historical right of hermits is not really accurate. While regular attendance at the Sunday liturgy has been required or expected since the early days of the Church, this does not translate directly into what we know today as a Sunday obligation. Further, the blog article which is referred to (How Did Hermits Keep Their Sunday Obligation? ) makes the following erroneous point: [[This is why no ecclesiastical writer or hagiographer ever seems to think it is an issue that the saints and hermits are not able to attend Mass; they understand that their choice of life makes it impossible to fulfill the Sunday obligation and that in these circumstances, that decision is justified in the eyes of God and the Church.]] In point of fact St Peter Damian (11-12C) and Paul Giustiniani (16C) both wrote about the importance of attending Mass and receiving Communion regularly (though they were not addressing the idea of Sunday obligation in their day). Giustiniani in particular addressed the issue: [[The second kind of hermits are those who, after probation in the cenobitic life, after pronouncing the three principal vows and being professed under an approved Rule [note well the structure and formation required here], leave the monastery and withdraw to live all alone in solitude. . .Such a life. . . is more perfect than the cenobitic but also much more perilous. It permits no companionship but requires that each be self-sufficient. Therefore it is no longer permitted in our day. The Church now orders us to hear Mass often, to make our confession, and to receive Communion. None of those can be done alone.]] Dom Jean LeClercq, Alone With God, "Forms of Hermit Life" (an alternative translation is provided below***)

*** [[ Indeed this solitary way of life was considered more perfect (even if less safe) than that of the cenobites at the time when no law of  Holy Church forbade living a life in complete solitude. But at the present time ecclesiastical laws oblige all the Christian faithful . . .  to confess their sins often, to receive Holy Communion, and to celebrate or attend Mass frequently. . .Now since all these things are hardly possible in this [entirely solitary] kind of life, it would seem to be wholly prohibited. So it is held to be less safe (or rather completely illicit) for a Christian to attempt it, or more exactly, to persist in it.]] Paul Giustiniani, Rule of the Hermit Life.  "Three Types of Hermits"

In today's Church the Sunday obligation obliges every person unless there is a truly good reason or some exception made by a legitimate superior. The obligation is a priority in an authentic faith life and requires Catholics make it a priority unless they have a really good reason or the aforementioned exception is made. One cannot argue (as it seems to me the USC blogger argued) that missing Mass is fine so long as it was not the primarily intended end. (It might not be a sin in such a case but it is not really okay.) Neither then does this mean a lay hermit (meaning a hermit without PUBLIC vows or canonical initiation into the consecrated state with its commensurate rights and obligations) can simply decide on her own, "Oh, traditionally hermits never went to Mass because they were called to solitude, so neither do I need to attend Mass! or "I have chosen solitude first so missing Mass (the secondary consequence) is no problem," or even "I just don't "fit in" so God is calling me to something else and I am dispensed." A lay hermit (e.g., the person whose blog you first referred to) is bound by her baptismal obligations. These are legitimate obligations (binding in law) and without public profession no other canonical obligations have been assumed nor do they potentially modify these fundamental obligations. Once again the importance of standing in law becomes very clear here.

Every eremitical writer who has considered the relation of the hermit to the Church and the danger of the independent solitary hermit is clear that too often this way results in illusion and delusion. It results in isolation more often than it does in genuine solitude and it can lead a person away from active and integral participation in the Church. When Paul Giustiniani writes about the three kinds of hermits he says: [[To the first type of hermit belongs those who take no vow of poverty, chastity, or obedience, [here he means public vows under a legitimate superior] do not have an approved rule, and are not subject to any teaching or discipline. . . They do not follow any regular discipline [referring again to a rule and superior], but only their own feelings, and they are not directed by the teaching officer of any superior, but by their own opinion. And so, by these very things, they make it clearly understood they still keep faith with the world. . . .For Saint Benedict, who calls these [hermits] sarabaites if they reside in a definite place, or gyrovagues if instead they move often from one place to another, plainly defines them as having the most disgraceful and miserable style of life. These . . . are called acephalous, that is, headless. The sacred canons of the Church do not sanction this kind of life. Rather, they censure it.]]  In any case if a lay hermit (even one with private vows!) wishes to remain a good Catholic she will keep those laws of the Church she embraced in accepting Baptism.


In many of the posts I have put up here I have written about the ecclesial nature of the diocesan eremitical vocation, the covenantal nature of genuine solitude, the distinction between isolation and solitude, the importance of canonical standing in order to create stable ecclesial relationships which allow one to live this vocation with integrity and not delude oneself, and finally, the importance of friendships and regular participation in a parish community. In somewhat different ways, the same is true of the lay eremitical life. The facile conclusion that God wills a solitary hermit who claims on their own the title "Catholic Hermit" to simply forego reception of the Sacraments, isolate herself entirely from a local faith community, live without adequate spiritual direction nor under the authority of any legitimate superior simply underscores the importance of all these points; it also underscores the danger Saints like Peter Damian and eremitical reformers like Paul Giustiniani (who profoundly loved and understood the call to eremitical solitude) wrote about. In Paul Giustiniani's time we have seen he concluded that solitary hermit life was no longer licit or viable; the significant solution and model he proposed was a laura of hermits. 

Today we also have canon 603 which, while governing solitary eremitical life, does so with mainly the same safeguards Paul Giustiniani outlined. The hermit's relationships with her diocese and parish ordinarily serve the place of a laura, at least in the sense of providing an intimate ecclesial context for one's solitude and in reminding us that the hermit's life is never one of isolation from the community of faith. If what this lay hermit wrote does not make sense to you then that is understandable; it is in conflict with the Church's own understanding of the way the solitary eremitical vocation must (and must NOT) be lived today and it is in conflict with classic writers on the eremitical life since at least the 11th century.

While I have cited the Camaldolese Benedictine constitutions on requirements for recluses it is important to cite what Paul Giustiniani says about those living reclusive lives. After commenting on the importance of the laura (a colony of hermits) for providing the advantages and security of community and allowing solitude he says of the recluse, [[but he will never be released from the rule and constitutions of the hermits or from the authority of and obedience of the superior. So too he will never lack fraternal assistance on those occasions when, for the observance of ecclesiastical norms, the ministry of another is required.]] Meanwhile, in his "Instruments of the Eremitic Life" Giustiniani lists celebrating Mass with spiritual joy or hearing it with devotion (#20), receiving Holy Communion with great reverence (#28), maintaining appropriate observance of common life (#33). For C 603 hermits these prudent requirements translate into relationships with a parish community and active participation there --- even if that is largely limited to Mass attendance only. For lay hermits who are in no way relieved of their ordinary Catholic obligations by accepting and being charged with other legitimate ones, this is even more the case.

Solitude (that is, eremitical solitude which describes solitary communion with God lived for the sake of others) is recognized in canon law as a very high value but this is only true when it is understood to truly exist in the heart of the Church. In my own life the "silence of solitude" (which is a goal and gift to the Church as well as an environment) might well require that I miss Sunday Mass for a period of time but there are sufficient structures (Rule, superiors, canons), relationships (superiors, faith community, director, pastor, etc), prayer (including the LOH and liturgy of the Word with Communion), and oversight (delegate, Bishop, director) to assure this does not slip into isolation or become willful, personally eccentric, or simply illusory (or delusional). Maintaining one's balance between physical solitude and participation in the Church's concrete faith life allows some flexibility and creates some tensions but one must be able to say, no matter what, that one is living a genuinely ecclesial faith life. For the solitary (c 603) hermit or for the lay solitary, a regular Sacramental life celebrated with one's brothers and sisters in Christ is undoubtedly part of doing so.

(See also, Hermits and Eucharistic Spirituality for a more general discussion of part of the way hermits resolve the issue of competing legitimate obligations in their life. This piece deals with developing a truly Eucharistic spirituality even when one cannot always get to Mass.)

On Drawing Prayer Circles (Reprise)

[[Dear Sister, have you heard of the books referring to drawing a circle around one's biggest dreams or needs and then standing there until the prayer is answered? They are based on the Jewish legend of Honi who drew a circle and prayed for rain. He stayed inside the circle until it rained and it did! God answered Honi's Prayer! I just wondered what you thought of this approach to prayer.]]

Hi there. I have heard of the books and seen them advertised on Amazon, but I have not read them. The legend of Honi, however, is one I am somewhat familiar with. Honi, a first-century BC scholar who is sometimes called the "one who draws circles", was faced with the need for rain during a drought. He eventually drew a circle and announced to God that he was not going to move until God sent rain. It was Winter, the rainy season when he did this. When a smattering of rain came Honi announced to God that that was not enough and reiterated his intention to remain there until there was real rain. There was a downpour and at this point, Honi told God he wanted (or the people of Israel needed) a quieter, less destructive rain; he said he would continue to stay in the circle until God sent that instead. At this point, there came a quieter rain which the ground could drink up and which would not be destructive because of flooding, mudslides, etc.

What is important to remember however are the two responses this action drew from Jews. Some excommunicated Honi because he had indeed blasphemed God by his actions. Others (a Queen) excused him saying he had a special relationship with God. There is ambiguity in the story and both wisdom and very real danger in the lessons we draw from it about prayer. Sometimes the line between the two is exceedingly fine; I personally believe Honi crossed the line despite also showing us some of the things necessary in a life of prayer and despite his special relationship with God. So let me say something about that and what I believe the author of these books on "drawing a circle of prayer" as well as what his readers must be cautious about.

The positive lessons on Prayer Honi gives us:

All prayer is meant to allow God the space to work in our lives. Under the impulse of the Holy Spirit we open our hearts to God so that God may enter those spaces, know us more profoundly (in the intimate Biblical sense), and accompany us in every moment and mood of our lives. That means opening ourselves in ways that reveal our deepest needs and dreams and doing so in a way that lets those dreams and needs be shaped, qualified, transformed, and answered by the presence of God and his own will or purposes. In other words, we hold our dreams and needs open to God's transforming and fulfilling presence. We take them seriously; we claim and honor them, but we also hold them somewhat lightly because God's presence can cause us to reevaluate and even redefine these in light of his love and purposes. For instance, my own dream to become a teacher or to transform the world is rooted in gifts coming from a really profound place within me which I must hold onto and express, but I must also be open to the possibility that I am not going to be teaching in the ways I thought I might nor transforming the world in the way I dreamt I might. The Kingdom of God comes through our attentiveness to our deepest needs, gifts, and dreams; we must not ignore these, but at the same time, that Reign rarely looks like what we thought it might.

Drawing a circle around my desire to teach, etc, allows me to get and stay in touch with the profound gifts within me, while praying about this allows me to open these spaces to God and to collaborate with God in becoming the teacher (or whatever else) he may desire me to become. Standing in this circle allows me to remain trusting in God's love and determined that the best use of my gifts be made, but I am neither defining (drawing) nor standing in this circle in order that God might be "informed" about who I am, what I feel, dream, or need, nor that his will be shaped accordingly. I stand in such a circle so that I may consciously and faithfully bring these things to God and allow their potential and promise to be realized in ways I may not have even imagined myself. Drawing a circle of prayer makes sense to me because it requires 1) a conscious claiming of gifts, needs, dreams, etc, 2) a faithfulness and deep trust in their potential and in the power of God to bring all things to fullness or completion despite ostensible signs otherwise, and 3) a commitment to watch for the ways in which God brings things to fulfillment even when these are contrary to my own plans and conceptions. Drawing a circle of prayer makes sense to the degree it demands and facilitates attentiveness and perseverance in prayer.

The Negative or Dangerous Elements in Honi's Approach to Prayer:

However, as I say, it is my opinion that Honi crossed the line that the leadership of the Jewish People considered blasphemous and worthy of excommunication. He moved from persevering prayer to blackmail or extortion, and he did so by treating prayer and the drawing of a circle as a way of leveraging God. When I think of what Honi did with the circle it sounds a lot like a child saying to their Mother, "I want cake for dinner and I am going to lie here in the middle of the floor until you let me have that! Not only that (once mom pulls out the vanilla cake mix!), it had BETTER be a chocolate cake!" Despite the vast difference between this and what I described in the last section, the line between these two is often a very fine one indeed and we need to be very careful never to cross it!

Prayer is always about intimacy with God but it is not the intimacy of peers, much less of persons who can dictate to God what their needs are and the ways in which they expect these needs to be met. Honi crossed this line as well. He forgot that in prayer he was dealing with the Master of the Universe, the One whom he was called to serve in persevering prayer, not one we can call on to serve us in a demanding and willful pseudo-piety. Perseverance is necessary in prayer, but stubbornness is a different matter. In prayer, we do indeed open our hearts to God, but we do so in a way that allows our dreams and needs to accept the limitations of reality and be shaped by that. We continue to hope, but the certainty of our hope allows flexibility and demands docility as well; God's purposes and will always ultimately eventuate in a fulfillment of what we dream of and desire or need most deeply. We need to trust that that is the case even as we allow ourselves to be instructed in the fact that we cannot always see or imagine the how or the shape of this fulfillment. We do not EVER dictate terms to God. It seems to me that Honi forgot most of these things in his own prayer.

Similarly, it is important not to think that God is outside the circle. We must understand that drawing the circle of prayer circumscribes a space where God is intimately present with us in the very circumstances we ourselves are suffering. We draw the circle and say effectively that we will stand here WITH God and trust in his life-giving presence despite all the difficulties and ridicule that may entail. Honi's actions seem very different to me than this. He seemed to be drawing a line in the sand (dust!) which separated himself from God and turned the situation into a "me vs God" struggle rather than allowing it to define Honi as an I-Thou covenantal reality. It is important in prayer to recognize that our truest needs and dreams are God's as well and that we stand together as covenant partners committed to the unfolding and fulfillment of creation. Even so, this is never the same as allowing prayer to become a kind of martyrdom (witness) against a God who finally capitulates to our demands.

Further, we must take care that the drawing of prayer circles not be allowed to deteriorate into a kind of magical thinking where if we do x (e.g., draw a prayer circle around my child), then y (e.g., his safety) will be the result. One of the real dangers of the idea of drawing prayer circles is that we begin to think that we have done what we need and therefore the result is assured. While this is similar to the extorting-God mindset (in some ways it seems like a "kinder, gentler, version") it is as contrary to the true dynamics of authentic prayer as is the demanding, self-centered, blackmail version of things. Since the author of these books has a version for children it seems to me that parents need to be particularly cautious in being sure they do not contribute to notions of prayer that have more to do with magical thinking than with prayer. Children outgrow magical thinking but if it becomes codified in their approaches to prayer this becomes a huge obstacle to developing a mature spirituality later in life and it contributes to unnecessary disillusion with religion and the practice of prayer.

Risk and tension are always there in our Prayer:

Finally, it seems to me that the Legend of Honi the circle drawer reminds us that there is always risk and tension in our prayer. Prayer requires boldness and steadfastness which can easily deteriorate into presumption and stubbornness. It requires an intimacy that runs the risk of devolving or being distorted into actual blasphemy.  After all, it is one thing to say, "Here I stand, I can do no other" WITH and for God; it is quite another to do so as though God was simply another person on the parish council who needed to be convinced and prodded into action. And of course, negotiating this risky business and coming to trust that God brings good out of even the worst circumstances even when we cannot perceive this, is part of what it means to learn to pray and to live a prayer life.  

As we mature in this we become better at a kind of "holy boldness" and an intimacy that is never presumptuous but which instead reminds us of Mary's part at the Wedding Feast of Cana. There she spoke directly, even boldly, to her Son about the needs of the host and she clearly knew her Son could do something about the situation. But Jesus drew limits as well and while Mary stood back a bit in light of these, she continued to trust in her Son and counseled others to do as he said. It seems to me that Mary's interactions with Jesus in that story are a more accurate image of the dynamics of prayer --- especially the "holy boldness"  required --- than Honi's legend itself manages to give us.

I hope this is helpful to you. You might also check out, On Persistence in prayer and other posts linked to the labels found below.

A Few Thoughts on Custody of the Eyes (reprise)

[[Hello Sister Laurel, Thank you for putting up the piece about the new movie. Custody of the eyes is not a phrase we hear much about today. When I looked it up I found a reference to "10 reasons men should always practice custody of the eyes" and some forum posts talking about avoiding lust, but why would cloistered nuns be practicing custody of the eyes so much to name a film about it? I mean is it really that central to life in a cloister? What am I missing?]]

Hi there and thanks for the questions. I agree that custody of the eyes is kind of an old-fashioned term and not one we use or, for that matter, practice much today, but in a congregation such as the Poor Clares or the Trappistines, for instance, it is a significant value which has a good deal less to do with avoiding lustful feelings and more with protecting the privacy, and more, the silence of solitude of one's Sisters and of the house more generally. Interestingly, custody of the eyes is meant to be combined with a genuine sensitivity to the needs of one's Sisters (or others more generally); for instance, one is expected to be aware if someone needs something at table and offer it, or to do something similar in work situations with tools and materials being used, so custody of the eyes does not mean closing oneself off to others, cultivating general unawareness, isolation, or anything similar. I think custody understood in this more balanced way is one of those values we ought all to cultivate as appropriate to our own states of life. It seems to me in some ways it is a vital practice our own technological and media-driven world really needs.

In last Friday's Gospel lection we heard the Matthean observation that the eye is the lamp of the body. In Matthew a good eye is a generous one; a bad or evil eye is the opposite. Additionally, one of the meanings of Matt's observation is that what we look on changes us and can be a source of light or (increasing) darkness. This can occur in many ways. We read classic works of literature or contemporary books that enlighten and shape us. We do the same with art and media of all sorts. Unfortunately, this may involve "literature" which demeans the human person, or it may involve visual input that does not even pretend to be art --- and rightly so. More commonly for most of us, it involves commercials or TV programs which objectify us, make a parody of and trivialize our lives even as they presume to tell us who we are, what we desire, and need, what we ought to value, buy, otherwise spend resources on, and so forth. Custody of the eyes in this kind of thing means allowing God to shape us and show us who we are and what we really need. It means refusing to allow others to define us or our own hearts especially. Custody of the eyes is a necessary element in being our (and God's!) own persons.

On the other hand, what we look on, that is, what we choose to look on and the way in which we do so speaks about our hearts; that is, it reflects either the light or the darknesses of our own hearts. Here is where generosity or its opposite become critical. We see this when we look on another person and judge them on the basis of appearances, or otherwise jump to conclusions on the basis of past hurts; but we also see it when we allow our compassion to perceive a person as God's own precious one who is really very like us, when we look with awe at the beauty which surrounds us or find beauty in the simplest thing rather than with the vision of someone who is bored and jaded and incapable of being truly surprised, and so forth. Custody of the eyes has as much to do with truly allowing the eyes to be the lamp of the whole person as with simply avoiding lust or lasciviousness.

Custody of the eyes allows a person to attend to their own hearts without constantly being distracted by the activity and sights around them. Especially, as it does this, it assists us in becoming people who see things truly, that is, who see things as God sees them. Moreover, it provides space and the gift of privacy for others with whom one lives; especially it provides for the communion we call "the silence of solitude" in which they too are seeking to dwell so that they too may be persons who see as God sees. Custody of the eyes intends our living with focus; it fosters the containment and denial of the incessant voice of curiosity and even prurience that has been intensified with the computer and social media environment and assists in following through on a project without getting distracted. (N.B., even the monastic cowl or cuculla ("hood") helps us maintain custody of the eyes and appropriate focus.) Thus, I think, the practice of custody of the eyes is rooted in a true reverence for others and for ourselves even as it helps create an environment where others may experience the same.

In a cloister or a lavra, for instance, silence does not cut us off from others or the demands of love. It is not a neutral reality but one that is carefully cultivated and allowed to flourish in love for the others who are also seeking God just as we are. It enfolds us each and joins us together in a supremely respectful embrace which is deeper than any word. It is a gift we offer one another. Custody of the eyes serves similarly and seems to me to be a piece of the monastic and eremitical values of stricter separation from the world and the silence of solitude especially. It too is ordered toward loving others and providing the gifts of space and privacy in which they may seek and commune with God while at the same time making sure they are profoundly supported in this.

Hermits and Experiences of Satan?

[[Dear Sister, I wondered if you have any experience of the Devil?  I have never known what to do with the part of the faith that includes the Devil but I recently heard someone who claims the Devil messes with her all the time. She made it seem like the Devil picks on hermits and even uses them to "mess with" others. It sounded to me a lot like that old joke about "the devil made me do it" -- it's kind of an excuse for anything that goes wrong when the person doesn't want to own up to their role in it. I don't think you write about the Devil though I saw where recently you referred to Satan being called "the accuser". Do you believe in Satan or the Devil? Does he "mess with" hermits? Is that because they are more spiritual than most people?]]

Another first! Thanks for your questions, although I have to say they leave me kind of at a loss. You see, yes, I have experienced evil, but Satan? No, I have no experience with that at all. My own experience of evil was something I came (eventually) to regard as the person's illness, and I found that explaining what I had experienced made sense in terms of mental illness. What also helped me make sense of it around the same time was Paul Tillich's theology of the demonic. What Tillich does is to look at something sacred. When that is distorted, twisted, and diminished, it becomes what he calls the demonic. On the other hand, when it is raised to higher forms and even its highest form of perfection, there we have the holy. For something or someone to be raised in this way implies participation in God's life, love, goodness, and truth, that is, in the holiness of God. For them to be distorted and diminished in the way I have described means for them to move further from participation in God's life, love, truth, goodness, beauty, etc. 

Another way to think of this is how we are when we allow ourselves to be loved as opposed to who we become when we refuse to be loved and become self-centered and incapable of the truth. As human beings made in the image of God, we are capable of great good and, if that image is distorted, great evil. Tillich knew this very well and so he understood human beings as sacred and capable of great holiness in and through God. At the same time, he had watched human beings who had become seriously distorted and diminished; they were profoundly inhuman and inhumane, and Tillich identified this state as demonic. But this had nothing to do with a literal Devil or Satan. It occurred in complex ways through the influences upon and choices made by each person, just as sanctification occurs. 

Personally, I neither affirm nor deny the existence of Satan (though I do note that it is not part of the Church's creeds). I simply say Satan has little to do with my own faith which is centered on Christ and the One he called Abba in the power of the Spirit.At the same time, I don't see where human beings need a lot of help in becoming inhuman and setting genuine evil loose in our world. We are the source of systemic and institutionalized evil, and I don't think we need an external source beyond the harmful ways other human beings have treated us or encouraged and conditioned us to treat others (whether all these things occur directly or indirectly). I feel the same way you do about folks who carry on about how the Devil is messing with them, or how persecuted they are, etc. However, (though I too enjoyed the Flip Wilson sketch way back) it is not funny or entertaining to me; it is a tragedy because it involves a person who, it seems to me, has no real self-knowledge, no motivation to metanoia or change, and a limited capacity for honesty or love, including self-love and love of God.

Ironically, there is a side to this, that is even more tragic in a person who tends to blame the devil, and that is the tendency to attribute to God everything that can't be attributed to Satan. While it is true that everything good in our life ultimately comes from God and reveals God to us, it is not typical of God to speak directly to us as a rule of thumb, to come to us similarly in visions, or to will our suffering, much less to cause actual suffering. God does NOT cause suffering, nor does God will our pain. This approach to reality not only refuses to take appropriate responsibility for the things that happen to us and cause difficulties for us (which includes taking responsibility for getting appropriate help with the wounds caused by others), but it also tends to be a form of self-aggrandizement.

I know some psychologically healthy hermits whose lives are edifying, focused on, and filled with God. They are wonderfully happy. Some can occasionally reference the Devil as the power behind real suffering, but these hermits don't have a strong sense of the Devil's presence in their lives. Certainly, they don't see him lurking and ready to pounce at the slightest opportunity. Others rarely, if ever, think of Satan except as he perhaps comes up in lectio or discussions, though they are apt to be acutely aware of the reality of evil in our world. What I am saying is that it is not "normal" for hermits to be "taken" with the place of the Devil in their lives. It is not normal for hermits to deal with Satan, to want to understand Satan, (to desire to) spend time writing or speaking about Satan, etc. Hermits may certainly have experiences of real evil. They may have experienced occasions or periods of serious suffering, but blaming Satan (or God!) for these is simply not typical of these hermits. Their lives are full of the grace of God and a sense of wonder or awe at the way God has called them to Himself.

They recognize all the ways God has been at work in (and for!) them and are full of praise and love for this God. They also are well aware of their own failures and shortcomings in this and other relationships; Satan has nothing to do with these problems, though personal woundedness may well be at their heart. They work on these with their spiritual directors and others who are competent in doing this kind of work with them. They suffer, yes, as we all suffer, and they accept this suffering as a share in Christ's own suffering embraced for the sake of a new heaven and new earth where God will be all in all. What they do NOT do is blame Satan nor play Satan off against God with themselves as some sort of victim or pawn of either or both!! (Note, those who are also "victims" of God will frame their victimhood in pious categories of grace, or "mysticism", or they may even identify themselves as a "Victim Soul".) 

In either case, just as you recognize, such a person, for whom victimhood (whether Divine or demonic) is a defining category of their life, tends to disavow appropriate responsibility for their suffering and difficulties. This can include resisting or rejecting therapy or other forms of assistance for original or core woundedness, and sometimes rejecting getting help for an ongoing paranoia about being persecuted or harassed by everyone around them. From my perspective, such a person's relationship with God is distorted and becomes seriously disedifying. Whenever God is made the direct cause of suffering or the one who directly wills and brings pain, serious theological errors have occurred in the name of a significantly flawed "spirituality".  In any case, the hermits I know, though profoundly spiritual and usually experienced with an authentic sense of what the desert tradition calls struggling or doing battle with demons**, tend to see themselves as simply way too inconsequential for Satan (or, The Devil) to have any interest in. 

** Please see articles on battling or struggling with demons for the way I use these terms

On Catechisms, Lay (non-canonical) hermit Life and the Reasons for Canon 603 (Reprise)

[[Sister Laurel, I get the impression that you are "allergic" to people who live eremitical life for selfish reasons. As I continue to read your blog I am beginning to get a sense of why you emphasize the character of ecclesial vocations. I know you insist the consecrated and lay hermit vocations are different from one another but not that one is better than the other. Isn't it the case though, that as soon as one of these is defined as an ecclesial vocation, it becomes a calling that avoids selfishness and some of the other stereotypes associated with eremitical life? Is it really possible to live as a lay hermit and avoid these things? Could it be impossible and if so, maybe this is the reason the Church really doesn't do a lot to speak of hermits in the lay state. Maybe that's part of the reason the CCC  doesn't actually refer to lay hermits but chooses instead to speak of consecrated hermits.]]

What an intriguing analysis!!! Thank you for the thought you have given this. I think you have sharpened or underscored the importance of ecclesial standing in regard to eremitical life. Ecclesial vocations, as I have said many times, "belong" to the Church and are lived on her behalf for the sake of her Gospel and those to whom she would proclaim that Gospel. Such vocations truly are allergic to selfishness --- except in the sense that any vocation genuinely serves the wholeness and holiness of the one called and then everyone else. Even so, and despite the fact that this helps protect the eremitical vocation from the stereotypes of individualism, misanthropy, isolationism, and so forth, I don't think it means either that consecrated hermits don't fall into these traps or that lay eremitical lives cannot be lived in a similarly exemplary way. Or, to put things more positively, I believe both consecrated and lay (or non-canonical) eremitical vocations can be the result of a Divine call and stand in opposition to the stereotypes and perversions of authentic hermit life we have seen through the centuries. Consecrated and Lay eremitical vocations are different in their rights and obligations but at the core of each is a call to the silence of solitude which itself is the eremitical vocation's great gift (charism) to the Church.

Remember the Desert Fathers and Mothers were lay hermits and their vocations were profoundly prophetic; they challenged the worldliness of the Church and called her back to a life of authentic holiness. They typified a true desert spirituality that could serve any person in days of deprivation, suffering, want, fragility, and threat with its foundational message that God alone is sufficient for us and has promised to be there for us eternally in the unexpected and even the unacceptable place. Now, in a sense, these Desert Abbas and Ammas were Church for one another as well as for those to whom they witnessed from beyond the desert borders. Also in a sense, these hermits saw their vocations as serving the whole Church. These were not ecclesial vocations in the sense we use that term today, but they were profoundly linked to and meant for the health and holiness of the Church.

In the history of the Church lay (non-canonical) hermits have, for instance, served as anchorites connected intimately to the life of the local church. Not only did they attend liturgy via a window looking out on the altar, but they had windows on the life of the community via the village square which allowed folks to come to them, talk, ask for prayers, receive spiritual direction, and just generally find a listening ear and heart. These were, in the main, lay hermits -- though quite often they were under the supervision of the local bishop and may have made vows in his hands as part of some kind of  "diocesan" standing. Other hermits served as ferry captains, toll collectors, gamekeepers, foresters, etc; in these cases, their lives were lives of service even as they were lives of profound solitude. For all of these reasons, I have to disagree that lay hermits are somehow essentially selfish or incapable of a generous service to the Church and/or others. The Church herself is aware of this history; I don't expect her lack of mention of hermits in the lay state (as opposed to those in the consecrated state) is motivated by any sense that such hermits are selfish, individualistic, misanthropic, or anything similar.

While it is true that stereotypes developed out of the world's long experience with lay hermits and while some of these hermits were undoubtedly guilty of selfishness, individualism, and so forth it is the essential truth lay hermits have borne witness to that lives on and has now been codified in canon 603. Bishop Remi de Roo recognized this and asked for eremitical life to be made a state of perfection (in our contemporary language, an instance of the consecrated state oriented to perfection). This request was eventually codified in canon 603 in 1983 when it then became possible for a lay hermit to be admitted to the consecrated state by one's local bishop. The mechanism for this admission involves 1) mutual discernment of the vocation by the hermit and her diocese, 2) public profession of the evangelical counsels (603.2), and 3) ongoing supervision of such vocations by one's local bishop.

Canon 603 does two things then: 1) it allows solitary eremitical life to be lived as a form of consecrated life, and thus too, as a form of prophetic existence within a stable state of life governed by the Church, and 2) it allows the life to be protected from abuse, disedifying stereotypes, individualism, selfishness, and so forth. Lay hermits today may not fall prey to the dangers and distortions associated with hermits throughout the centuries, but I think it is important that they realize the significance of an ecclesial/canonical vocation that publicly proclaims the significance of eremitism and helps protect it from so much that detracts from its dignity and witness potential. Most importantly to my mind, canon 603 indicates that this vocation "belongs" to the Church, that, as solitary as it is, eremitical life is a form of life in community, and that it is a similarly responsible vocation. Individual lay hermits may actually live their vocations with the same spirit and motivations (I know some who certainly do; their lives are inspiring), but as I experience it, it is the canonical nature of consecrated solitary eremitism, its existence as a stable state of consecrated life, that really ensures the hermit never forgets what eremitical life is essentially and who she is in light of her profession, consecration, and commissioning.

Regarding the reason the CCC did not really speak to eremitical life, I am not so cynical as you. The Catechism refers to consecrated life and describes eremitical life in that state. I believe the authors of the Catechism were well aware that their descriptions of this new form of consecrated life was one which could well inspire those whom the circumstances of life has left isolated for one reason and another and who seek the redemption rather than the validation (!) of their isolation). Some would do this in the lay state. Lay persons are entirely free to live as hermits; they are also free (generally speaking) to seek admission to profession and consecration as a member of a congregation of hermits or as a solitary hermit under c 603.

The CCC does not list every way of life a lay person may live as a lay person; it lists different (and normative) vocations in terms of specific states of life. Because the lay hermit, despite the prayer and solitude of her life, is still living this in the lay state; everything s/he does (including living as a hermit) is an expression of his/her lay state, until and unless s/he is admitted to public vows and consecration. There is really no necessary reason for the CCC to specify lay persons in its treatment of consecrated eremitical life. Canon 603 is both new and normative of solitary eremitical life in the consecrated state the Catechism references and from which it derives its more general description of eremitical life. While referring to consecrated life per se I think the authors of the CCC believed lay persons should be able (as they clearly are) to be inspired by this description. I suspect there was nothing more than this involved in the way the CCC handled eremitical life as a vocation to consecrated life without specific reference to lay hermits. We can wish the CCC gave some space to lay eremitical life, especially in light of exemplary eremitical lives like those of the Desert Abbas and Ammas, but the work's limitations (both of space and intent) made this apparently unnecessary or impossible.

How Can Bishops Profess Hermits They do not Know?

[[Hi Sister, I read that you waited for a long time to become a diocesan hermit, In my diocese we got a new bishop and within a few months he professed a hermit. Our former bishop never professed anyone. How can one bishop take a long time and another one profess someone in a short time? Isn't there some sort of standard about knowing a candidate before one professes them? How can it take one person many years and another person only a few years or even only a few months? Too, how can a Bishop profess someone they hardly know? I heard about one bishop who did this with a young hermit and she failed. I guess that is the same question about standards. Can I ask you one personal question? Were you ever directed or supervised by a Sister from an unrecognized community? I don't mean any offense, someone suggested your delegate was from a community that might not even be real religious maybe. I believe the point was c 603 talks about bishops supervising the hermit and maybe that yours wasn't acting as the canon required.]]

Thanks for your questions. I think your first one is another new one, never asked here before, so thanks! (It really is cool getting new questions!!) First of all, it is important to understand that in most dioceses, at least if they have Vicars for Religious or Vicars for Consecrated Life and Vocations offices (not all dioceses are large enough or have large enough staffs for these), the bishop is rarely the first one to work with a candidate. In fact, he may only meet the candidate when others are ready to recommend her for profession. At this point the person may have been meeting with chancery personnel for anywhere from 5-10 years.  (Some will have met for even longer.) This ordinarily means that a formation team including Religious, priests, canonists, and sometimes now, another c 603 hermit, will mentor the candidate hermit (and the rest of the formation team). 

So, when someone is working this way, it may happen that the bishop retires and is replaced by another bishop before the person is ready to be professed. Sometimes bishops in this situation, will leave the final decision for admission to profession of the candidate up to the next bishop. When these kinds of things happen it may appear to those looking on from the outside, that the candidate is not really known to the diocese or to the new bishop when they are professed --- at least if one only looks at the known dates involved: e.g., New bishop on 9/24, first profession of hermit on 11/24). What is true in this is that the diocese has known the candidate for much longer than just 2-3 months, but we may be unaware of this.

It is true that the newer bishop will not know the person well (and certainly not as well as the formation team does), but this is simply another reason bishops often ask the hermit to choose a delegate who will serve as representative to the diocese and to the hermit both. Remember that the first bishop also would not know the hermit well, or at least not as well as the Vicar for Religious who has been working with her all those years. Canon 603 requires that one live this vocation under the supervision (or some translations may say direction) of the bishop, but what this supervision consists of is not spelled out. So, for instance, if a person serves as delegate and knows the hermit well, if she has the appropriate expertise to guide her hermit life, and is available to the bishop whenever he wants to check on things or to meet for a conversation, that can be  a very satisfactory way of working out the canonical requirement of supervision. One thing I have not mentioned is the fact that the hermit is entrusted with this vocation. She has shown the diocesan personnel how she lives eremitical life and why, and they have come to trust her and what is usually a relatively long history of this.

The bishop does interview the candidate, sometimes several times in the year or so before profession, and he has her Rule of Life and other pertinent documentation and references. In my experience, a bishop trusts those who know the hermit better than he does, especially current and past Vicars, pastors, and spiritual directors, and he also takes the time he can to get to know her better one-on-one as well as through her writing (if she is published). Remember that c 603 is recognized as calling for temporary profession of vows, meaning these vows will ordinarily last for from 3-5 years and can be renewed before admitting the hermit to perpetual profession and consecration. There is ordinarily a great deal of time available to catch errors or problems that need to be worked out. Moreover, during the years, a bishop will come to understand eremitical life better as the hermit herself grows in the vocation and shows him the hows and whys of this; this mutual influence and education is the best way, I think, for a diocese to grow in its understanding of c 603 vocations.

In my own situation, there have been five different bishops here, including one interim, since I first petitioned to be admitted to c 603 consecration. There is no doubt that some have been more involved in supervision than others. From things I have heard from other diocesan hermits in other dioceses, this unevenness is not uncommon. At the same time, as I have written recently, the Diocese (Vicars for Religious) and then Bp Vigneron asked me to choose a delegate who would work more closely and more frequently with me than any bishop might be able to. When Bp Vigneron wanted to speak to me about something he contacted Sister Marietta, and he contacted her for her opinion on matters. Supervision need not look like some non-canonical hermits imagine it. Again, canon 603 is flexible and it is up to the diocesan bishop to decide what this term of the canon will mean. So long as he takes his role seriously and cares for the hermit's vocation, he is fulfilling the canon's prescriptions.

Regarding your last question, while this is repetitive, let me say that my main delegate (Director) has been Sister Marietta Fahey, SHF (Sisters of the Holy Family is a Papal Congregation). She has been my delegate from @ 2005 to the present,; more recently, serving as co-Director (Advocate) is Sister Susan Blomstad, OSF. I have mentioned them both before, but here is a bit more about them. Sister Marietta has served in parish CCD work, as Novice director in her congregation, and has been in leadership of her congregation for 10 years as well; she began and ran Holy Family Center, a small retreat center focusing on Adult personal and spiritual growth, has been a licensed educator in PRH and is highly skilled in personal growth work and spiritual direction. I have known Marietta since @1982 when she agreed to be my spiritual director. Sister Susan, formerly a teacher, was Vicar for Religious and Assistant Director of Vocations for the Diocese of Oakland when I began to become a hermit. She then went into retreat work in Malibu (Serra Retreat) and directed this at the Old Mission Santa Barbara. Susan now serves (yet again!) on her province's leadership team (the Franciscan Sisters of Penance and Christian Charity) and as the local minister for their retired Sisters in Santa Maria, CA. The congregation's Generalate is in Rome. 

As I have pointed out a number of times now, my Bishop is allowed to supervise me in any way that works for him and for me. My diocese asked me to choose a delegate who would serve both me and the diocese and bishop when the bishop was not available, but also just generally to take on this role of supervising more directly than most bishops can do. Both of these Sisters know me well, are available whenever I need them, and are trusted by the diocese. The arrangement works very well and is something I encourage other dioceses and diocesan hermits to consider implementing.

What do We do When Others Don't Want to Talk about God?

[[Dear Sister, is it difficult for you to communicate with someone who is "allergic" to God or to talk about God? I wondered if you have trouble with that since you are on a spiritual path and some people are not. I am in love with Jesus and my family is on a more temporal path. I would like to talk with them about Jesus but feel kind of pressured not to do that. Isn't it part of my vocation to convert people to Christ? In your vocation I guess you don't meet a lot of people who don't believe in Christ, but what do you do when other people just don't want to talk about him? Should we cut them out of our lives because they are at a lower level spiritually? I am struggling with all of this.]]

Important questions, thanks for asking them!  You are talking about two interrelated things, 1) being on a spiritual path, and 2) talking about that path to others. Both are difficult and the second may be more difficult than the first. So let me talk about these two things in order. First, what does it mean to be on a spiritual path? I define a spiritual path in terms of the Holy Spirit. It is a path we are inspired and empowered to take by the Holy Spirit. Moreover, it is a path that helps us to achieve the fullness of our own humanity with all that characterizes that. When you approach the spiritual from this perspective, almost anything can be or become a spiritual path and that certainly includes all aspects of the spatiotemporal world. 

There are a couple of things I call to mind in reminding myself of this: first, the Word of God was fully and exhaustively revealed to us in Jesus, a human being who shared fully in our spatiotemporality (that is, our historicity), even to the point of sin and godless death; Secondly, the Catholic Church is a Sacramental Church built on God's transfiguration of spatiotemporal realities. We belong to a church in which the elements of this world are sacred and capable of being transformed into symbols of eternity. Thus water becomes capable of washing us of sin, bread and wine can become the Body and Blood of Christ, oil is made capable of healing and strengthening us with the power of the Holy Spirit, and this happens not only via the grace of God but because of what these are innately. 

As part of this second element, I am also reminded of c 604 and the vocation of consecrated virgins living in the world and the transfigured (or eschatological) secularity they live in the name of the Church. (By the way, secular might be a better word for what you are trying to express than temporal.) With sacraments, the Church says that God can transfigure this world and make it a symbol of the new heaven and new earth our Creator God is in the process of creating in and through Jesus, his Christ. The Church asks us to take this world seriously and see it in the way God does. This has implications in the way we approach everything around us. We begin to look for the Holy Spirit's presence in everything, and we begin to see the essential holiness in even the most mundane. 

Once we begin looking in this way we also begin to characterize dimensions of what we see by words which are very much of God without being overtly religious. For instance, we begin to see truth and beauty, or in looking at creatures we may see courage, integrity, compassion, hope, aspiration, joy, sincerity, and generosity. These characteristics and innumerable others are of God, they are divinely inspired and constituted.  God IS truth, beauty, integrity, etc; He is the ground and source of these things and of all else that exists. My sense is that when we begin to look at the world and talk about it in terms such as these, we can talk about God in ways that are illuminating and even revealing while working around the "allergy" you first mentioned that afflicts so many people today.  Let me point out that carrying on conversations in these terms can be very challenging and that is especially true for people who consider themselves "spiritual" or "religious." For these people, conversing without using explicit references to God or God's Christ demands a lot of thought and prayer; especially, it requires a profound sense of God and the way God is related to this world.

While I agree that your ministry may involve proselytization, I don't think this is the approach I would use with people I love. Our families are captive audiences, so to speak and ordinarily, it is not our job to convert them, except in one major way. We are meant to love them and to indicate who we are as Christians by our love. Remember that being Christian means being truly human in the way Christ reveals what that means. It is our vocation to become human in this way and then, if and when we are asked to do so, to express to others why we are capable of this. What Christians witness to is the God who is love-in-act and what that love makes possible in terms of wholeness, hopefulness, compassion, courage, integrity, wisdom, etc. That witness may never require us to speak the words "God" or "Jesus" or "Christ", and in some cases speaking this way may be counterproductive and even destructive. The bottom line here is if someone does not want to talk about God, or is allergic to explicit Godtalk, then use the language they are comfortable with! If you do this in love, every word will be infused with the presence of God.

The notion that one person is at a lower level spiritually than we are is a judgment we human beings are not capable of making.  I sometimes wonder if it is a way of seeing that even makes sense. But we are not called to judge in this way; God asks us to love others as we love ourselves; loving another means helping them to become and be the persons they are called and meant by God to be. What I am encouraging you to do is to invest your energy in becoming fully human yourself and then (in light of that commitment) invest in inviting or even summoning others to do so as well. Use the categories, activities, and interests that drive the other person in order to learn who they are, and love them to greater and greater authenticity and wholeness. 

What you need to trust is that you are doing this in God's name (that is, in God's presence and power). Even when you do not use the word God or speak of Jesus explicitly, if you are loving the other you are doing the work of God in their life. If you are allowing them to love you, you are doing the same thing. You and I may be in different places spiritually, but neither of us is higher than the other. That is an idea you must really make your own if your communication and sharing with others is to be credible or compelling to them. Look for the commonalities you share with the other, the places where you can use the same language and truly share with each other at the level of your hearts. Since this is rooted in truth and love, it is rooted in God. Again, trust that.

Finally, while I love to talk about Christ and God with others, it is not usually something that happens -- even with parishioners for whom spirituality is every bit as dominant in their lives as it is in mine. Sometimes, with some folks, we never speak of God or faith explicitly. However, I don't cut them out of my life. We talk about what is going on in our lives, our struggles and joys, our challenges, successes, and failures. We do what Mary and Joseph likely did with their neighbors and relatives (including discussing and consulting about their own bewilderment at what parenting Jesus means!!). 

On the other hand, I don't mean we avoid speaking of God should it seem important and timely to do that. Of course not! But God need not (and should not) be the only acceptable topic of our lives. (Actually, if God is the only topic someone wants to discuss or, worse yet, is capable of discussing, then the problem is theirs, and solutions need to be found.) I tend not to run into this problem much except in those who are tentative or insecure in their own spirituality or perhaps, in their ability to relate to others. Sometimes this is combined with a fresh conversion experience and the result is nonstop talk about God. But, beyond a certain point, this is not helpful for the person talking, nor for those with whom they are trying to relate. We cannot and must not use God or our purported spirituality as an excuse or coverup for not being able to communicate or share with others in everyday ways. 

God made us in his image and likeness; we who are imago Dei are becoming more and more imago Christi as we become more and more human, and that occurs to the extent we are loved and freed to love by others. Learn to perceive and talk in terms of the very best and most truly human and ordinary dimensions of reality and your speech with others will be innately and implicitly Godly. Again, I ask you to trust that. Learn to love others as God loves them and you. Then, in time, together you may speak more explicitly of God and the way God in Christ has transformed your life. When this happens, others will be interested and your speech will be more credible and compelling. These are a few of the things we must keep in mind when we deal with the kinds of questions you have posed. The difficulties you are trying to negotiate are worth the struggle you are now experiencing. Be assured of my prayers in this. I hope this response is helpful for you.

Uncomfortable Questions and Answers!!

[[Dear Sister Laurel, why is it you don't want a bishop or priest supervising or directing you? If canon 603 says that you are to live under your bishop's direction then why don't you let him to do that? Why do you use a woman from a dissident [religious] community as a spiritual director? You write a lot about c 603 but how can you do that if you don't live the canon yourself? I want to support Joyful Hermit because she suffers so much and all for the love of God. She hasn't even been approved by the church like you have and lives a heroic hermit life. You should be ashamed for harassing her!!]]

Thanks for writing. I've decided to post your questions and answers because I keep getting similar ones. They require more than a private email response if others are going to stop writing me with the same kinds of questions. However, let me say that if you are a friend of Joyful's, or if you want to support her, I would encourage you not only to learn the truth yourself but that you help her to face (and tell) the truth as well. Because asking me directly is the first step toward this goal, I want to answer your questions but let me ask you some questions as well. For instance, what besides what you have heard from Joyful makes you think I do not want my bishop to supervise me? Have I ever said or written such a thing? The answer to that is of course not! I am a c 603 hermit and I have committed to live the canon as fully as I can. That includes accepting diocesan bishops' supervision of my life. That said, let me point out that neither I nor any other c 603 hermit can control our bishops and the way they supervise or fail to supervise this vocation!! If Joyful ever truly becomes a c 603 hermit, she will not be able to do that either.

Remember, when one's bishop retires or is moved to be made an Archbishop, for instance, they are replaced by someone who may not be prepared to supervise a hermit, and some bishops are simply unwilling or unable. My own diocese was very wise in requiring me to choose a delegate who would work with me on behalf of my bishop. (And no, the chancery did not require that this person be a priest!) As already noted, Sister Marietta Fahey, SHF, serves both the diocese and me in this way and so does my co-delegate, Sister Susan Blomstad, OSF. Both are qualified to do this for me and for the sake of this vocation in ways most bishops cannot even imagine doing themselves. I have written about the competence and quality of both of these Sisters recently, so feel free to look those posts up if you are interested in the truth about them. It is not as Joyful has imagined it. But to be blunt, very little of what Joyful has imagined (i.e., fantasized!) about me or others she has maligned in her videos, is anything even remotely near the truth. 

As I have written now several times, a bishop is not asked to be a c 603 hermit's spiritual director but to supervise her living out of her vocation. If the word director is used in a translation of c 603, it does not mean spiritual director. Since a c 603's bishop is the hermit's legitimate superior, he, in fact, cannot be her spiritual director. That would lead to conflicts between internal and external fora. Instead, he is asked to supervise this ecclesial vocation and there are no rules specifying how that supervision must be carried out. In the arrangement my own diocese specified, I think I am better served than if I had only been supervised by the bishop.

As I have also written several times now, the use of a delegate who has a closer relationship with the hermit works very well for both the diocese and the hermit; it also maintains the distinction between internal and external fora. Joyful has a single narrow idea of what the canon means by supervision or direction, and if a diocese uses a different understanding of supervision, she declares this to be evidence the hermit is not following the canon. But let me again be frank. Joyful also does not demonstrate any real understanding c 603 --- not the reasons for its existence, not its nature, not the language it uses, and not the life it defines and governs.  She has never met me, nor corresponded with me regarding the supposed issues with me she raises and she claims she does not even read this blog. She doesn't know me nor understand my life nor how I live it; all of that and more means she is in no position to say I don't live the canon (nor most of the other things she claims about me).

You are correct that Joyful has not been approved for admission to c 603 profession. She is not a consecrated or Catholic Hermit, despite what she claims. That takes the church's admission to profession and consecration and commissioning to live the vocation in the Church's name. While Joyful has petitioned that this standing be granted to her, it has not happened yet, and may never happen. (Here I have to ask you, if Joyful is already a consecrated Catholic hermit, why would she seek admission to profession and consecration under a canon she reviles as inadequate ("full of loopholes") and a destructive influence on traditional eremitical life?) 

And if she is never admitted to c 603 standing then where's the harm?  She does not truly feel called to this specific vocation or even believe in its value; it should not be a great disappointment or source of suffering if she is not admitted to profession. Perhaps more importantly, she can continue living as a non-canonical hermit and write about it in a more compelling way than she could ever do with c 603, the canon she so reviles. Granted, to do this effectively and credibly, she would need to adopt the Church's own distinction between consecrated (canonical) and non-canonical eremitical life, and she would need to espouse this as a significant lay vocation in her case. (For priests it could be a significant clerical vocation.) As Joyful's friend or supporter, you could assist her with that. 

Beyond that, though, the best way any friend or supporter could help Joyful, I think, is to get her to stop drawing gratuitous conclusions about peoples' motivations, presumed behavior, faithfulness to their vocation, state of their soul, etc. She does not and cannot know these things without the person sharing them with her or confirming them for her. If she has questions about how someone understands or lives eremitical life, or why they do what they do, then please encourage her to write that person directly and ask them as you have done to me!! You see, while I find your questions somewhat rude and entirely spurious (they are rooted in untrue assumptions), I absolutely respect that you posed them directly. Thank you for that.