On White Rabits, Cheshire Cats, and Losing and Finding Our Way

A friend gave me something to reflect on or use for prayer until we can talk about it later this morning (when she will let me know the context of the quote with regard to her Franciscan Congregation). Specifically, Sister Susan wondered what rose up in me as I considered something from the Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland. You may remember that Alice asks what road she should take and as part of his response the Cheshire Cat says, "If you don't know where you are going, any road can take you there." It was an interesting exercise and I had fun doing it. I had not expected such a simple thing to lay bare my own heart in quite the way it did, nor did I think my response would be autobiographical, but it was. Here's my initial response:

[[My primary reaction to this aligns with the sense that if one doesn’t know where one is going, one is apt to find oneself lost with all roads leading nowhere at all. For instance, I think in terms of becoming the person I am called to be, of fulfilling the vocation which serves this purpose best, or looking to Christ as a roadmap of what my own journey is meant to be or the narrative template of the way my own story is to be shaped. In all of this my primary reaction involves the same constellation of thoughts and feelings that occur with the observation, “It is possible to be so open-minded one’s brains fall out!” Foolishness! Waste! We need some limits, norms, goals, and certainties to proceed intelligently. Without them we are lost!

And yet, another voice, quieter, gentler maybe, but no less insistent, reminds me that there can be blindness and crippling rigidity in this approach. I recognize the times in my life I have taken roads with no sense or assurance of where they would lead me. I thought they could be helpful; I thought perhaps they would shape me in important ways; I thought I would come, in time, to recognize what they really offered me, and I hoped that I was at least a little right! And all along these roads I found incredible gifts and grace at every turn. They always felt like they held exactly what God wanted for me and there could not have been a better road --- even when they included obstacles, injuries, mishaps and apparent dead ends.

It is this second voice that reminds me, “It is the journey that matters” --- not because destination is unimportant, but because the one I am called to be is precisely one who is capable of recognizing and journeying in light of the grace that pervades everything all along the way. That IS the destination. That is “the WAY” that Christ was and revealed, the WAY of being truly human he showed us and made real in space and time! Part of me still grieves that I missed "this" particular road or "that" specific landmark or “achievement”; part of me mourns the journey I would like to have made once upon a time. (That first voice in me is quite strong and still learning to see in this new way!) But in the main I recognize the deep (and non-cynical) wisdom of the Cheshire Cat’s observation because I now know God is present on every road and I understand that learning to make the journey with and in God is what the real destination actually is and always was.]]

After sitting with what rose up in me yesterday, I know that these two voices within me need not be in conflict with one another. This is not an argument between two irreconcilable parts of myself, but a dialogue leading to greater personal integration and holiness/wholeness. One voice provides a certain and necessary kind of strength and vision which, without the gentleness and openness of the second voice, can also be blind and lacking in flexibility; it may even be shattered by circumstances. The norms, goals, and "destination" so important to the insightful wisdom of first voice don't go away by attending to the observations and lived wisdom of the second voice. Instead, they are enfleshed and made richer than I ever could have imagined they might really be. I need the first voice. It gives continuity and focus to my journey, but the second is equally necessary: it opens me to newness and mystery beyond my limited ken; it transforms my journey into a pilgrimage -- the very Life I was called to in the first place and certainly the life of a hermit.

I do suggest you try this little exercise yourself. [[What rises up in you as you listen to the Cheshire Cat's observation: "If you don't know where you are going, any road can take you there."?]]

Follow Up Question:

[[Dear Sister, I was wondering what this exercise had to do with Sister's congregation. You never explained that. Would you mind?]]

No, I don't think that is a problem. Sister Susan's congregation has both Sisters and Associates whose task it is to help the congregation as a whole live their charism between Chapters (Affairs and Elections). These persons fill the role known as "Charism Animators". The province meets regularly and recently that has meant that everyone is learning to use ZOOM in order to do this effectively. As part of their last meeting, the quote from the Cheshire Cat was used to provide both a focus for meeting in smaller and larger groups and a completely non-threatening way of exploring actual content as well. I noted I had not anticipated this exercise revealing so much of my own story and personality and I believe that other Sisters participating in their own exercise found the same to be true.