Observance of Holy Week? Questions

[[Hi Sister Laurel! How do you observe Holy Week and Easter? Do you do anything special?]] 

 My Holy week is a lot like most weeks except that I, like most people, am in Church a bit more than usual. My horarium is essentially the same much of the week so I am not going to generally mention Office or things that don't much change here. 

One thing I do is focus on the theology of the cross. There is an incredible constellation of paradoxes and symmetries involved and I have a chance to explore these afresh. Since I have focused on the cross in a lot of my writing, and since it is certainly the heart of our faith and my own life, it makes sense to spend time studying, meditating on, writing about, and journaling on the place of the cross. The truth of the cross, because it is mystery in every way and so very paradoxical, is something that escapes our grasp so it really does need to be reappropriated again and again. Thus, I do a lot of reading and reflecting on this piece of things. 

 The first three week days of Holy Week I attend daily Mass, but the rest of these three days are mainly then spent in silence and solitude. I do have chores to do to get ready for the Triduum, but I try to get these done without disrupting things too much. Holy Thursday I attend the Mass of the Lord's Supper, and then spend more time in quiet prayer. That night can have a vigil character as we move into Good Friday --- especially since the tabernacle at my hermitage is empty (I return unused hosts to the tabernacle at Church or make sure they are all consumed prior to Good Friday). I attend all the services at the parish, but on Good Friday I will pass on Communion because I prefer nothing mitigating the weight of Jesus' apparently senseless death and the emptiness which results from that. (I admit that ending a liturgical memorial of Christ's passion and death with Communion makes no theological, liturgical, or personal sense to me so I may choose to forgo this.) 

From the end of Good Friday services through Holy Saturday day/evening I focus on what life would be like for me had Christ simply died under a just condemnation of blasphemy. I focus on the scandal and apparent failure of Christ's death, remember the struggle of the early Church to actually make sense of this, and try to allow myself to feel what Jesus' own disciples experienced on this day. The empty tabernacle is an important symbol here and I will also remove paintings, crucifix, statuary as well as pictures of friends who are an important part of my life because of Christ. The hermitage itself becomes, at least potentially, a symbol of an ultimately senseless, foolish life during this time memorializing Christ's death (sans resurrection). 

The Faith I chose in the face of family disapproval, the books I read, the degrees (theology, etc) I spent time, money, and effort earning, the clothes I wear, the ring, crucifix, and cowl, my Rule, vows, virginity, etc --- all become signs of a life which makes no sense and perhaps has been wasted, a life which is marginal and counter cultural to be sure, but in a way which is merely weird and eccentric rather than significant or meaningful. I may even put some of the signs of my consecration aside until time for the Easter Vigil. During the vigil itself I wear my cowl as usual, but until the moment the lights are lit, the bells rung and the Gloria sung, I will keep the hood up. My own vigil is more isolated, more grief-filled or somber, and the raised hood helps note this. I try in every way I can to enter into the highs and lows of these days and external reminders are an important part of this. 

 One other thing I may pass on on Good Friday is Compline. Compline is one of my favorite hours of Office and no day feels complete without it (indeed the term compline means completion). It is a comforting, quieting, joyful giving of oneself over to God in rest or even in death. Certainly I know that Christ remained open to God even in his experience of a Godless death and sinful reality and entrusted himself to God despite an experience of abandonment (had he not, there would have been no salvation!), but I also know that apart from Christ there is no way I can easily or confidently entrust myself into God's hands. (Would that I could!) Antiphons like, "I will lie down and sleep in peace, O God, my justice," or verses like, "You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the plague that prowls in the darkness, nor the scourge that lays waste at noon," can become impossible on Good Friday when there is yet no resurrection. 

On the other hand, they can remind me of the need to hang onto my faith in darkness and death because out of these God brings unimagined light and life and so, praying Compline at this time can be especially meaningful. In any case, because this office cuts two ways, this is something I play by ear depending on what best serves a faithful celebration of the Triduum during a given year. I participate in the parish festivities on Easter Including the champagne reception after the vigil), and later in the day I may go to dinner with friends, play quartets/quintets, or simply out to eat alone. Sometime after the vigil liturgy I will refill the tabernacle, replace the presence lamp and privately renew my vows. In the days of Easter week I replace anything I have taken down and spend time reflecting on the meaning of each thing, the memories connected, the growth or obstacles to growth, etc. Resurrection changes EVERYTHING so I try to allow myself time to look at things both apart from it and in light of it. 

 I hope this actually answers your question. Let me know if it does not, or if it raises further questions.