[[Sister Laurel, when you write, "in every person's life God works
silently in incredible hiddenness," I wonder. Is this what the followers
of Francis de Sales mean by "interiority?" I spoke with [a Sister friend] a
few months ago - and she asked me "How is that interiority coming?" I
didn't know how to answer her, but I thought it might be something like
this.]] (There were other questions included in this email about the
distinction between being the gift and using gifts. Some reflected on the idea of merely being present to others and being gift in that way. I focus on those
here as well.)
While
it is true I am saying the hermit is a gift simply in being present to
others, I am saying more than that as well because quite often (in fact, most of the time) a hermit
is present to no one but God. Before you go out and do, before you are
present to or for others in any
way at all, and even if you never go out to others, I am saying that God
is at
work in you healing and sanctifying. That, as I understand it, is the
witness
of the hermit life. That is its special gift or charism. We say this
with our lives; whether we
ever speak to a living soul, pray for another person or not (though of course we will pray for others), whether we ever write another word, or paint another picture, or use our individual gifts in any way at all, we witness to the Gospel and to
the God
who makes us whole and holy simply by being ourselves as redeemed.
Extending this to you and all others it
means that
should you (or they) never take another person shopping, never make
another
person smile, never use the gift you are in any way except to allow the God
who is faithfulness itself to be faithful to you, THAT is the hiddenness and the gift I am
mainly talking about. Yes, it involves the hiddenness of God at work in us but
that is the very reason we are gift. We witness to the presence of God in the
silence of solitude, in the darkness, in the depths of aloneness, etc. We do
that by becoming whole, by becoming loving (something that requires an Other to love us and call us to love),
by not going off the rails in solitude and by not becoming narcissists or unbalanced cynics merely turned in on self and
dissipated in distraction. We do it by relating to God, by allowing God to be God.
Cultivating
this sense of God at work in us, emptying ourselves (or being
stripped by circumstances and learning to see this as an incredible
gift) so that we only witness to God, allowing ourselves to let
go of anything but God as the source and validation of our lives is, I
think at
least, the heart of cultivating a sense of interiority. Interiority
itself is
our life of Communion with the God who is the creator, source, and
ground of
that same life. It’s focus is God and includes his redemption of us, his
healing, sanctification, and intimacy. When I wrote here before about developing a
spirituality of discernment I was also writing about cultivating
interiority.
That is why resisting discernment while speaking constantly
about “discerning” is actually a
resistance to the development of interiority; if one cannot deal with
one's feelings and all that
is going on within them, then neither can one claim to be a discerning
person
with a healthy interiority. If and to the extent one does not see the
whole of reality from the
perspective of the light and life of God, then
to that extent one has not
developed a genuine interiority. (I will have to ask my pastor about St Francis de Sales' own take on interiority! I simply don't know Francis well enough.)
Most of us witness to all of this by using our gifts. Hermits (and
especially recluses) do it by flourishing in an environment which really
does
say God alone is enough. In this environment the gifts we have possessed
from birth and for whose development we have often spent time, money
and effort in education and training may well be largely irrelevant. When I
speak of us being the gift I mean that the
hermit's very life and capacity for love says God is real, faithful, and
an
intimate, integral, and even inalienable part of our deepest reality. My
eremitical life is not about me, my
intelligence, my persistence (and stubbornness!), my creativity (or lack thereof), my musicality, or any other specific talents which may also be
present. It is about God as source and ground, God as faithful lover,
friend and
sovereign, God as redeemer who will never let go of us but instead transfigures us so we truly image God. That is what
makes my life a gift --- even, and maybe especially, when I do
not touch anyone directly, even when I reject the role of "prayer
warrior" (which seems to me to emphasize a kind of worldly perspective on the primacy of doing over being), even when chronic illness allows for no ministry at all but only my
own hungry and even desperate openness to God in weakness and incapacity.
The
church that professed and consecrated me under a new and largely unprecedented canon
witnesses to this truth. The existence of canon 603 itself witnesses to this
eremitical
truth and describes the gift it represents under the heading “the silence of solitude”. My bishop
and
delegate witness to this by coming to know me and the way God has worked
in my life, as well as by professing me and continuing to allow me to live this life in the name of the Church. This witness to the providence of God at work in the silence of solitude
is why canonical standing and the relationships established there in law
are so
vital. The church continues to esteem eremitical life as a pure, even
starkly
contemplative instance of the abundant sufficiency of God. God is the
gift this
life witnesses to precisely as it turns its back on --- or is stripped of
--- every gift
it otherwise ‘possesses’. And of course, this is also why c 603 must
not be misused
or abused as a stopgap solution for those with no true eremitical
vocation. To do so is, for instance, to risk honoring selfishness and spiritual mediocrity ("lukewarmness") or institutionalizing cowardice and misanthropy. The eremitical life is a generous one
of giving oneself to God for the sake of others. But it is also rare to be graced or called to witness in this particular form of stripping and emptiness (
kenosis).
As I noted here recently, I once thought contemplative life and especially eremitic life was a waste
and incredibly selfish. For those authentic hermits the Church professes
and consecrates, and for those authentic lay hermits who live in a hiddenness
only God can and does make sense of, the very thing that made this life
look selfish to me is its gift or charism. It is the solitude of the hermit's life, the absence of others, and even her inability to minister actively to others or use her gifts which God transforms into an ultimate gift. Of course, in coming to understand this, it is terribly
important that we see the "I" of the hermit as the "We" symbolized by
the term "the silence of solitude". It is equally important that we never profess anyone who does not thrive as a human being in this very specific environment.
In other words, my life, I think, is meant to
witness starkly and exclusively to the God who makes of an entirely
impoverished "me" a sacramental "We" when I could do nothing at all but allow this to be done in me.