24 September 2018

In Memoriam, Clancy

Yesterday morning at 5:15 a.m. my once-feral cat, Clancy, died in my arms. He had been sick with a mass in his jaw. We treated him conservatively with injectable antibiotics and steroids which helped, especially at first, but beginning Friday night Clancy went downhill very quickly and mainly slept in my lap Saturday, drinking little, etc. I gave him some fluids, but by bedtime Saturday night he was almost too weak to walk, stand, or even hold up his head.  He slept on top of me (a favorite place when allowed) through the night. Several times, as I had to move, he cried out, but settled down again, his head under my chin, once I was quiet again. At 5:15 he had a major seizure and died as I held him --- safely but lightly cradled against my chest. He was a brave and loving little guy who, at the end, "struggled to let go" even as he hung onto me --- and I will miss him.

The following video was shared by my director; she had used it as part of a Saturday workshop, "Exploring the Seasons of My Life", so it was very timely in many ways --- and consoling and encouraging for me personally on this day especially. I love much about it but I was particularly struck by the verse on traveling through the history of my life and in doing so, moving from certainty to mystery (for) God speaks in rhyme and paradox. The line from the refrain, "To die then live is life's refrain," is also wonderful; I think it is the most fundamental dimension of spiritual growth as it is the most challenging truth of personal faith. I hope you enjoy the video.

Addendum: this afternoon (Tuesday) friends (my "adopted family"!) from the parish allowed me to bury Clancy in their garden area/flower bed. John (my younger "Older Bro") dug the grave, added some flowers, and said a prayer (it was lovely and all I could have wished; especially touching was John's reminder of those whom we love who have died --- and who would now welcome Clancy's spirit and love). A small plant from another spot nearby was planted on top of the grave. Can't say how grateful I am for John's hard work and his and Aggie's love.