Questions: Eremitical Life as a Guide in Time of Pandemic?

In the middle of April I was interviewed for The Catholic Register in Toronto. A portion of that was on loneliness and that was what found its way into the published article. The main portion, however, I am posting here because the journalist had a sense that hermits might have something significant to say to those still on lock-down in light of this pandemic. I think she's right and her questions serve as a kind of introduction to my understanding of eremitical life.

            1) [[What is your daily life like within the hermitage? I.e. do you leave the hermitage, do you live with others, what is your daily work like?]] 

Life in Stillsong is divided between prayer, study (Scripture, Theology), writing (including journaling, blogging, and some more academic writing) work with clients or my own spiritual direction (every other week I meet with clients and/or with my own director; alternate weeks are mainly without clients), and everyday chores and recreation. I ordinarily leave the hermitage for Mass on Sundays and a couple of days during the week, a Scripture class I teach at my parish, normal errands (shopping, doctors’ appointments, etc.), and some extraordinary events at the parish. I am not a recluse; I am a significant part of the life of others and they are a critical and inalienable part of my own life --- even in my physical solitude. Thus, the focus and majority of my time is spent in what canon 603 refers to as “the silence of solitude”, that is, in communion with God (which requires time and space alone) for the sake not only of my own genuine selfhood but for the sake of others. While I live in a senior complex, I also live alone.

           2) [[I'm interested in what advice you might have for the people quarantined inside their       houses during the current pandemic. I wonder if you have any insights on how they could experience solitude and enclosure not as a negative force, but rather as an opportunity for growth. How does solitude make you feel more connected, and even joyful? What advice do you have for others experiencing social isolation/quarantine - how can they make the most of their situation?]]

Perhaps the best I can do here is to begin by affirming why I live in solitude (rather than in isolation) (Let me first say that I see being isolated as more than mere physical solitude; it means being personally, not just physically separated from others, perhaps because of self-centeredness, misanthropy, etc. Thus I don’t use it as a term to describe eremitical solitude.}

 A medically and surgically intractable seizure disorder and chronic pain isolated me and in some ways prevented my doing what I had planned to do with my life. Becoming a person of prayer (one who is loved by and loves God in a conscious, dedicated way) transformed isolation into solitude and I came to embrace this as away of life. I did so because over time it became clear that my life is immeasurably meaningful apart from the standards ordinarily driving us, namely work or career, wealth, “success”, and so forth. We all know we need some degree of physical solitude to be healthy, but when things like this pandemic rob us of the things which ordinarily make our lives feel meaningful it is important to recognize how truly valuable we are in and of ourselves (in light of the love of God). Physical solitude is an opportunity to discover or strengthen our sense of this truth and to be there for one another in new ways. It is a way of maintaining a truly human perspective  re all of reality. This will include loving and affirming the value of every other person when they are unable to measure their lives in more usual senses, when they seem to have nothing to recommend them in terms of career, wealth, success, expertise, etc.

 There are concrete steps anyone needs to take to live physical solitude fruitfully. Regularity and balance are two of these. A hermit has to learn to balance all the necessary parts of her life, the things without which she cannot be healthy or fully human. Most fundamentally this means beginning and ending everything with prayer, not in the sense of saying prayers before and after everything (though we certainly might do this), but in the sense of beginning and ending with our experience of God’s love, our experience of loving and being loved, in all of the ways that comes to us in solitude (formal prayer, connection with others, reading Scripture, connection with nature, care for all dimensions of self – physical, spiritual, intellectual, relational, etc.). Another way of saying this is to affirm the need to (learn to) give ourselves permission to love and be loved  especially when we are separated from our usual ways of knowing and valuing ourselves through work, career, earning power, status, etc.  It therefore also means creating a schedule where things have their necessary place and developing new habits and priorities which are truly loving for ourselves, those with whom we live, and those around us. Some concrete suggestions common to monastic and eremitical life/Catholic Tradition include:

·     As possible, take time to get to know yourself, God and your loved ones apart from the props of career, status, etc. the pandemic strips each of us of some of these things. Trust that is an opportunity.

·     Take time to pray, to think, and especially to reflect on our world and those who are suffering.

·     Take time to truly recreate, not merely to distract, but to enliven and revitalize. Do this with others as possible and desirable. Talk with each other. Watch a movie together, play board games.

·     Allow time together to be as sacred as it would be at Mass. Especially do this with meals and recreation together. Solitude is about communion, not isolation. Counter isolation with genuine community and develop the new habits needed to do this in the future. Find ways to truly say what is most important and deepest within yourself. The present moment is what we have.

In so far as we touch and continue to touch into the ways we are truly and deeply loved by God (and others), we will be more resilient and creative in this new normal. Everyday practices (making beds, doing dishes, mopping floors, meal times) will be done more attentively and take on a new importance and “fullness.” Everything becomes an opportunity for reflecting on and growing in love; more and more, nothing is “ordinary” any longer. This is the deeper meaning of “making everything a prayer.” Because everything can be transformed in this way, this is the reason hermits, among others, give priority to reading Scripture, and formal prayer in its many forms. We witness to the power of these things to heal and literally inspire genuine humanity.

3. How has isolation helped you deal with suffering? Right now, many people in quarantine are struggling with domestic abuse or suffering from mental health problems - do you have any insights as to how isolation could heal, rather than exacerbate, this suffering?

Here in Stillsong illness and suffering still “get in the way of things.” Even so suffering is part of my life and more generally I am comforted in that suffering by the love of God. This means that while suffering may get in the way of this or that specific activity, it does not get in the way of my life per se.  I think this is actually the witness a hermit’s life gives to the power of God’s love. 

It has taken real work to learn that even significant and isolating suffering is a piece of my life that can still be “engaged in lovingly” and even fruitfully, but one can learn that one is loved and can love oneself in spite of suffering that would ordinarily feel dehumanizing. My life is still infinitely meaningful in light of God’s love and can even be a source of inspiration or edification to others --- not merely because of the suffering involved, but because there is something far more primary for me, namely my (growing) ability to love and be loved in light of God’s love. Once one sees this a number of things happen. Among them, 1) one values oneself no matter what, 2) one come to see others as equally precious, and 3) One experiences one’s fundamental  unity with others and will work to enhance that as possible. When this is true the world becomes an incredibly wonder-full place and  belonging to it (even in physical solitude) a source of joy. 

+       Treat this time of enforced solitude as an opportunity to suffer honestly, without denial or   self-pity. Allow it to be an opportunity to accept whatever limitations and weaknesses are ours.
      Treat it as a chance to drop masks even as we don medical masks.
      Learn to ask for help and to grow in compassion.

 I can’t speak very effectively here to those in situations of abuse any more than by reiterating what I have said above about giving oneself permission to learn to love and be loved (by God, self, and others) in spite of what is an awful continuing reality God does NOT will.  I will say that one needs to get whatever help one can in learning to truly love oneself. There are online resources that can assist one here and some of the things I do regularly myself can be of assistance; journaling, for instance, taking time for oneself (taking walks, exercise, forms of lone recreation that allow one to relax and decompress, etc). Abusers need to do the same kinds of things, perhaps even more urgently because solitude is a demanding context which will break down as well as build up.  That causes a new kind of stress folks will need to learn to deal with. While I do see this as an opportunity to learn new ways of responding rather than reacting with violence and abuse, I also believe one will ordinarily need some help in negotiating this creatively and needs to seek that out online, etc.

 For those dealing with mental illness my advice has to be equally general: treat this pandemic as an opportunity to give yourself permission to love and be loved by a God Who is bigger than even this awful situation. This remains the foundational imperative for every person in this situation. The other suggestions are also important.  Let the stresses of the world’s expectations and ways of seeing reality become less important to you if you can. Do all you need to do to be truly good to yourself. Seek what help is available to deal with your illness, but also hear that you are someone God holds as precious and loves infinitely. Give God permission to do this. Trust that this is what God wills for you, not illness. Know that everyone touched by this pandemic has been disoriented by it; this is normal. Everyone is building new habits, learning new ways  to truly be themselves and relate to others. Those already working with mental illness may actually be ahead of the game here.