On Dealing With Worthy and Unworthy Motives in Discerning a Vocation

[[Sister, I don't know if you have time for this question as well, but seems to me that another problem in all of this are the unacceptable motives held by both "Brother Christian" and her Bishop. Is it common for people to approach their dioceses for admission to vows with such dishonest motives? How does a diocese uncover these if you know?]]

I believe that all of us discover within ourselves both worthy and unworthy motives in approaching and desiring to live our vocations. That may be even more true when we are older and no longer just out of high school or college, for instance. What is really critical during periods of discernment and formation is that we become aware of these motives and too, their roots in our lives. For instance, in considering solitary eremitical life, I approached this potential divine calling with a background in and deep desire to live religious life and an academic background in systematic theology with experience in clinical pastoral roles. At the same time, I struggled with a chronic illness which made life in community difficult or impossible. All of this co-existed in me when c 603 was published in 1983. My immediate sense was that this canon might be a good way of "securing myself" canonically and living the religious life I felt called to. However, as intriguing as this made c 603 to me, it did not mean God was calling me to this vocation.

Over the years in discerning this vocation there were many questions to answer and many things to process, to make sure were healed, strengthened, etc. as well as a lot to learn about the eremitical life itself and what living authentically according to canon 603 might actually mean on an everyday basis. The question of authenticity recurred throughout these years and only gradually could I be sure I was really listening to God in this and indeed, that God was calling me to live as a solitary hermit. Had I truly grieved my inability to live community (which, by the way, does not mean the pain of that loss or inability to fulfill this desire ever goes away completely)? Had I established myself in a parish community in a way which might allow me to live and minister even if I were not a religious or canonical hermit? (This was important so I could freely choose what canon 603 legitimately allowed or not.) Had, for instance, I dealt with the shame and "failure" associated with being disabled by the seizure disorder so that canonical standing or "status" was not something I sought illegitimately? These were a few of the things that had to be processed or dealt with on the way to discerning and embracing an authentic vocation to c 603 life.

The point in all of this is that the prospect of c 603 profession and life was associated with motives that were both worthy and those that were not, those that were generous and those that were more self-centered, those that stemmed from woundedness and those that came from wholeness or health (including spiritual health). In living from the ones that are worthy and working through the reasons for those that are unworthy we achieve a part of our response to the vocation itself! If one does not do this, then whatever external liturgies one goes through, one has not truly responded to God and the gift God gives as vocation. This is another reason significant preparation for a formal profession is required. In some ways the preparation is part of one's actual profession or is carried into one's vow formula and becomes part of the gift one gives God and receives in embracing God's call.

In the work I sometimes do with candidates with c 603 profession, uncovering the motives that are unworthy is, relatively speaking, less important than the candidate's ability to identify and articulate the truly compelling ways God is calling her in this process. I am aware of some of these unworthy motives, of course, and in the main trust that the candidate is working through things with her spiritual director. It is not difficult, however, to see clearly when a person is speaking of what God is really calling them to and why they believe this. This particular truth is so foundational in their lives that they can shape themselves (or rather cooperate with the Spirit's shaping of their very selves) in terms of the vocation being considered and the candidate's whole life comes to make an amazing and often paradoxical sense in terms of it. With Canon 603 vocations, hermits and candidates will let go of other avenues and avocations in which they may also have been truly gifted to become the person and gift God is calling them to become as they grow to be fully, abundantly alive in God in terms of this canon and the eremitical tradition.

Because I (and the diocesan team members with whom I might be working) also watch a Rule that is faithful to and deeply embued with a lived understanding of c 603 gradually come into existence (or not!) as the candidate distills her life with God and experiences of the central elements of the canon into a personal vision of this life which reveals the truest essence of the canon, it becomes clear when the whole person resonates with the truth and life of this vision and no other. It also becomes clear when this does not happen and something is askew, mistaken, or perhaps concealed (whether this is done consciously or unconsciously). In such cases, though this also depends on the severity or centrality of the issue, it is usually the case that more work needs to be done before final determinations regarding admission to profession and/or consecration.

But conscious dishonesty and the kind of disingenuousness and potential canonical incompetence we have been occupied with here for the past week (or which I have been concerned with in this case for several years now)? No, these are not common. In fact, I believe they are unprecedented because here we have lies on top of lies at every level of the situation. Ignorance of c 603, its history, and its nature is not uncommon. But once these have been clarified, my own sense is that a candidate's lack of vocation (which means lack of this vocation, not others!) ordinarily becomes clear right away and generally speaking, chancery staff do not collude in the uncharitable process of misusing the calling involved. Canonists protect the substance of the canons so that law may truly serve love, they don't empty them of content and misuse them as legal loopholes. Bishops entrusted with canons 603-605 learn all they can about these canons and their vocations for the praise of God, the sake of the People of God, and the actual vocations entrusted to them. 

Earlier in the history of c 603, some mistakes were made and some professions that should have never occurred did occur. But my sense is that these were good faith errors associated with legitimate growing pains, which have more or less ceased over time and increased experience with authentic vocations under this canon. None of these, however, were as consciously dishonest or as deliberately provocative and political, not to say ecclesially or theologically careless, as the various actions in the Diocese of Lexington case. However, I should note that since the vows made are temporary, there is still time for the diocese to rectify the situation. At the very least the diocese should refuse to exacerbate the situation by attempting a consecration. Again, c 603 has been misused in the past. Honest or good faith errors can be corrected. For the sake of all involved, and the good of a fragile and essential vocation, I pray Bishop Stowe finds the wisdom and courage to do so.