Thanks for your questions. I am especially glad you have read what else I have already said about this, especially the part about how a little bit of this kind of sharing goes a long way and is usually not especially necessary except to signal lived experience, the need for prayer, or to indicate one might be helpful to others experiencing something similar. I do believe that the question of how one lives a hermit life in the presence of serious chronic illness is an important one. My own decision is to witness to the life I live, and to give less space to the obstacles/potential blessings that hinder and result from that life. Think of it this way. If I were traveling along a desert trackway and tripped over a rock, I might well describe how serious the fall I took was and how it changed my plans for the present. I would not necessarily speak about the rock's dimensions, color, composition, age, or rarity, and I would certainly not describe this every time I mentioned having once taken a serious fall that affected my life as a hermit.
I think that readers of this blog, and those who might be familiar with my other writing or teaching, will come to understand that over the years I have come to understand chronic illness as a potential vocational path, an example of desert existence and liminality, a way of life that marginalizes, provides unique perspective, opens one to the Gospel in significant and vivid ways, and intensifies the yearning we each have to become fully, authentically, and meaningfully ourselves in spite of our limitations. In other words, my experience of chronic illness points me directly to God and my own yearning for fullness of life with God in Christ. These are the things I write about, the things that are truly important to me and (I sincerely think!!!) to God. They are the things that allow me to write about the very full, even unimaginably rich life that c 603 involves in its hiddenness. They are the things that allow some aspects of uncontrolled seizure, the difficulty of managing medications and other treatment modalities, and the struggle associated with intractable chronic pain to assume places of grace in my life. This, in turn, opens my life to the white martyrdom (witness) of the hermit and enriches the life of the Church and others as well.
You have said you are curious. That's great. If you have specific questions about living with chronic illness, dealing with medications, or working with a huge variety of clinicians, please ask them. If you have specific needs to ask the question and understand the answer, please state those needs and ask the question!! If the question or answer violates boundaries of privacy, propriety, comfort, etc., I will be sure to let you know while saying what I can. (Mostly, of course, I'll just say what I can.) Some questions I could answer privately, but not on this blog. If that's sufficient for you, then great, ask away!! Your questions could really be helpful in indicating what would be useful for readers beyond what I have already written, and I would be grateful to you for them.
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