Second Week of "The Sisterhood"

Well, I must say, The Sisterhood continues to surprise in a favorable way. The Sisters themselves continue to be the real deal and the young women who have come for this "come and see" visit (an entirely informal step in a discernment process) are emerging as more than cookie cutter or stereotypical characters --- though in the main they are (unfortunately) very much products of the culture. It is this basic dynamic which seems to me to continue to drive the entire show: women religious live a mature and counter cultural life, one which is essentially generous and other-focused (first on Christ and then all those precious to Christ) and have taken in young women who are self-centered, immature, individualistic (as is our culture), and yet, who seem to desire to give themselves to Christ. The drama involved stems from the clash of these two worlds, and from the Sisters' ministry to those often-wounded women who have come to them purportedly "discerning" religious life.

Tuesday night's program was surprising because most of the women showed some unexpected depth. Both Stacey and Francesca struggled emotionally with the demands of the Sisters' apostolate though Stacey's struggle could be more easily transformed into the quieter and deep empathy and compassion required for pastoral ministry. Francesca has some personal healing to do first. Sister Peter ministered to her and it was refreshing to see her ask for and receive space from the camera persons so she could  deal privately with Francesca's needs. The glimpse into what Sisters do everyday in ministry and the way they live their lives is gratifying; much of what is shown of these things is done merely by implication but evenso I think folks are getting a good sense of what the day in and day out lives of religious are about, even with the great diversity that exists from institute to institute. One of the important lessons in all of this had to do with instruction on "employments" or chores (what many Sisters call "charges"). While Christie is bemoaning the fact that she "showed up and Jesus didn't" (more about that in a moment) the lesson being taught in doing daily tasks is "we expect Sisters to bring Jesus with them into their work!"

Sister Cyril Methodius, O Carm.

Christie's, perhaps sincere, but overly-romanticized and eroticized version of Jesus as flirting Bridegroom or spouse is not serving her well in a situation where one is expected to come to know and live Christ's love in more ordinary ways. It was a bit surprising to hear her suggest that Christ was not present or could not be found here in this convent. Even those Sisters who very specifically resonate with the spousal mysticism of Christ know full well that the everyday experience of Christ's presence and love is more mundane, reveals itself (for instance) in the Words of Scripture or the face of our neighbor rather than in erotically charged experiences like those Christie describes. We know on a profound level rooted in trust that he is present with us right here and right now. One cannot survive on an emotional bond alone nor is a specifically Charismatic prayer life enough to sustain us day in and day out. Neither is it always possible to find a time and place for solitary prayer (keenly aware of the irony now, I say this as one who got in trouble most often in initial formation for "being alone too much"), but when thirty-eight religious women drive a distance to share a last bit of community fun in honor of one's soon-to-occur departure, even a hermit like myself knows it is time to set solitary prayer or journaling aside. Here was one more place Sister Cyril's frustrated, "Get a grip! It's not all about you!" was also appropriate. So was St Teresa's classic observation that God is found amongst the pots and pans, or St Benedict's stress on seeking God in the ordinary.

Claire was definitely the character that got on my last nerve this week. Last week she was commenting on peoples' prayer lives and so forth and I noted that that made me wince, but this week she became more explicitly judgmental and open about what she thought to be her own "superiority" and "greater maturity". When Claire went to Sister Cyril to snitch on others while purportedly not knowing how to "think about" what offended her and couching stuff in the language of concern for these others, I found myself reminded of someone who had been in my own class in initial formation. Passive aggression doesn't work well in religious life and snitching under the pretense of caring is definitely not accepted. In any case Sister Cyril saw clearly what Claire was doing and not only allowed her to go through the process of explaining a highly sexually provocative dance move ("twerking" --- a new word for Cyril and for myself) without rescuing her from the task, but commented that as we grow in holiness we have to be very careful of judgmentalism. Her related comment that we must not allow a matter of conscience to become bias was excellent but I would argue a bit with Cyril on this one and say that when there is true growth in holiness judgmentalism, pretense, and a sense of superiority all go by the wayside; for sure though that doesn't happen right away. In any case, she handled the situation magnificently and folded several important lessons into a series of simple observations that began essentially, "What I think is not important; it is what you think that is important," and again, "Well, what I try to do is. . ."

One of the scenes which was most troubling was watching the girls deal with their tension from the day's exposure to the Sisters' apostolate among the elderly and dying by drinking and acting out. Let me be clear, these girls are not religious or anywhere near being religious. Further, religious do have drinks before dinner or wine with dinner, especially on special occasions, but we do not generally use drinking as an occasion of acting out nor of numbing emotions. This was one of the points made by implication in the program. At the end of the girls' stay at the Carmelite Motherhouse they were surprised by the entire community of Sisters joining them for ice cream at "Holy Cow Ice Cream" and were reminded that Sisters work hard, pray hard, but they also play hard. It is an intense life, but it is also balanced and healthy with prayer at the center of everything; numbing oneself to its challenges or acting out in the ways the girls felt were entirely normal are not a part of it.

Next episode the girls move to another convent with a different congregation of Sisters. I am personally pleased to have gotten a glimpse of these Carmelites and especially pleased at the intelligence and wisdom they showed. Sister Peter was terrific in working with Francesca and explaining about what memory is accessible when serious impairment is present as well. I am also grateful the entire community was protected from disruption during most of their everyday life. No novices or professed Sisters who were not directly engaged with the girls were used in the programming or filmed in their usual activities with the exception of the chapel scenes at the beginning and the end of the girls' stay. (In this regard I must say I felt more than a bit sorry for the novice who was paired in the pew with Christie and might have been distracted by the charismatic praying in tongues (?) and other gestures which Christie insisted on using during adoration.)

Sister Maria Therese, O Carm.

I continue to wonder how typical of young women entering religious life these days these girls are. I know that most would not pass the usual screening procedures and would at least be asked to wait. One cloistered nun said, however, that this is pretty typical of the kinds of girls who show up to the parlor for their initial contact with the community. What comes across very clearly is that the actual formation of a young (or older) woman into a religious or monastic is an intense and lengthy process. There are no short cuts. Here I recall again Sister Maria Therese's comment that she has been a Carmelite for thirty-four years and is "still trying". Transformation into a Religious who truly embodies a particular charism (like that of Teresa of Avila and the Carmelites, Francis and the Franciscans, or Romuald and the Camaldolese) is something that takes real time, commitment, and perseverance --- all of which are countercultural values in a world where relationships are self-serving and do not last, credentials can be bought, and life achievements must occur quickly and easily --- (cf Heald college's typical approach to education here: "Get in, get out, get ahead!").

My general impression at the end of two weeks? Well done Sisters! You are doing us all proud! I wonder if several of you shouldn't be getting a religious  equivalent of purple hearts or medals of valor!? Maybe all contemporary formation personnel should! It is demanding, intense, critically responsible work and this series has given a glimpse of what that means. Interestingly, I think that comes through even as questions remain for me regarding how real these "discerners" truly are; especially I wonder still how strictly cast they are each for a specific "character" approaching religious life and how cooperative each girl is in fostering this vs how truly herself she is being.

Son of David! Brother Mickey McGrath, OSFS

On the Feast of Christ the King my parish was lucky enough to be visited by Brother Mickey McGrath, OSFS who was in the area for a conference in the South Bay. Bro Mickey is an Oblate of St Francis de Sales, the same congregation as my pastor, and during the visit Mickey stayed at the parish and did the homily for the Feast. He took slides of his work and projected them on the wall in the sanctuary; he then did a running commentary on the Feast via each of the pictures. It was an amazing presentation. All of the works related to Jesus as King, or to Kingship in the OT and thus to the story of the multitude of ways God dwells among us and is (or wills to be) sovereign. The depth and breadth of the scriptural references was stunning and exhilarating.

One of the pictures especially spoke to me. It is called Son of David and reflects not only King David and his Son, but also Jesus as Son of David and God's sovereign and merciful One. (Whenever Jesus healed people "they had tended to call out to him, Son of David, have pity on me/us!") In the foreground is the Son of David figure holding a harp which reminds us of the psalms David is supposed to have authored but which stand as the singing heart of the OT. There is a river and a pomegranate tree reminding us not only of the tree of life and the movement to freedom of the Exodus but of the rich symbolism of the fruit as well. In Judaism the pomegranate (rimon) symbolizes, "righteousness because it is said to have 613 seeds, which corresponds with the 613 mitzvot, or commandments, of the Torah. For this reason and others, it is customary to eat pomegranates on Rosh Hashanah. Moreover, the pomegranate represents fruitfulness, knowledge, learning, and wisdom." The river and tree also remind us of the Israelites' exile and corresponding plaint --- We hung up our lyres, for our captives there required of us songs; but how can we sing the songs of Zion in a foreign land? Likewise then the harp in Jesus' hands reminds us of the song that Jesus awakens in our hearts when he brings us to freedom and then, eventually, home. 

For me all of these meanings have personal significance, especially because so much of my time is spent singing psalms, but also because of the idea of playing an instrument and singing while in a state of exile. Eremitical life generally (and certainly my own) is joyful and an instance of God's own song even when it must sometimes be sung in a minor key; after all, exile (and being at home in exile) is a very big and meaningful piece the eremitical vocation and my own personal story. The consolation and inspiration of the Holy Spirit is also represented in the painting --- from Whom else do we sing and in Whom else's power are we made song? (Here I also remember Dom Robert Hale's comment that God sustains us like a singer sustains a note!) The name Stillsong Hermitage reflects all this and more.

Because I was so struck by the painting (and because Mickey left the Church early so I missed talking to him directly), I asked my pastor if he could check to see if there were prints available and if so, to get some information for me from Bro Mickey.  Unfortunately, I hadn't seen Fr John all week to follow up on the results but Sunday morning, when I came into the sacristy after Mass to take off my cowl and get ready to go outside, a flattish wrapped package with my name on it was sitting on top of my vest there on the vestment press. I wondered vaguely  if, because of the day and it's size and shape, it could be an Advent calendar --- though no one else seemed to be getting one! Anyway, after making sure I did not have to wait for Christmas to open the package (Such a relief! I probably would NOT have been able to do so anyway!) I realized what it MIGHT be. And so it was, namely, a ready to frame 11"X14" print of Brother Mickey's, Son of David! WOO HOO!!

For a chance to "meet" Brother Mickey and to see a face of religious life you may not have met yourself, check out the following videos. One of the points he makes which resonates with my own theology and work is that our God is found in the unexpected and even the unacceptable place. Our world is at least potentially sacramental, always and everywhere. We seek God wherever we are and wherever we go and we are open to allowing God to transfigure all things. Brother Mickey's commitment to this truly joyful vision of reality comes through in what he says and assuredly it comes through in his art.

For those of you who like this print (it is more vibrant than shows here, I think) please check out all of Brother Mickey (O'Neill!!) McGrath's work at www.EmbracedbyGod.org. It is extraordinary with vibrant colors, thoughtful and multi-layered composition, and wonderful dashes of humor and contemporary tones, notes, faces, and scenes. (He had slides of Mary holding Jesus and sitting in a modern rocking chair because his Mother had and loved sitting in just such a rocking chair, while his paintings of contemporary Saints, Founders, Popes, etc are unique.)

Another painting I particularly loved is Christ the Teacher which has Jesus with his arms full of torah scrolls, books, papers, and even computers reflecting all of the ways the Gospel of God has come to us over the history of his Proclamation. It is available in a print but also as note cards. Jesus the Student is also lovely and there are any number of paintings of Mary and the various Saints which remind us of how ordinary such extraordinary holiness is meant to be (as well as how extraordinary we each are called to be in our ordinariness). Incarnation is a thread woven throughout the work again and again. The prints are generally available in several sizes (specific prints each seem to be available in only one of these sizes), are very reasonable in price. Please consider contributing to this unique and significant ministry!

Hermit Life as Prophetic

[[Hi Sister O'Neal, given that Pope Francis' Apostolic Letter does not even mention canonical hermits and exhorts religious to think of the distinctive characteristic of religious life as prophecy, how does this fit in with your own vocation? I admit I have a very hard time thinking of hermit life as prophetic! It seems selfish and very old-fashioned to me. Prophets always seemed more exciting and into a freshness and newness that challenged those they came to. But hermits sit in their cells and pray. How can that be considered prophetic?]]

This is truly a great set of questions! I am not sure I can do them justice, in fact, but I also look forward to trying. First, though Francis did not mention diocesan hermits explicitly, they are included in the category of consecrated persons to whom the letter is mainly directed. Also, Francis did speak specifically to contemplatives and made suggestions to them regarding ways they could be a prophetic presence in our world. Even so, I believe that my own vocation is profoundly prophetic and I have felt this way for at least the past 25 years or so, and most especially over the past 10 years or so. The key for me is that this vocation is a way of proclaiming the truth, challenge, and promise of the Gospel in and for a world which, at every point, stands for something else entirely.

For instance, my vocation says that we are never truly alone and that God is a constitutive part of our very being. We are dialogical events at our very heart and this means that our basic gift and task is our humanity. No matter what else goes on in our lives, no matter what other successes and failures touch or characterize us, this basic charism and challenge is still ours and always something we can, with the grace of God, fulfill. Isn't that the real success of Jesus on the Cross? Namely, that in the midst of abject failure and absolute degradation Jesus remained true to the dialogical reality he was, continued to depend totally on God to make his life (and his failure) meaningful, and remained wholly open to the power of Love-in-Act to transform the world --- even the godless realms of sin and death. This is indeed a prophetic word our world needs to hear and it is one, I think, hermits can proclaim with their lives precisely because in most every way our world measures success, personal significance, or meaningfulness, the hermit fails to measure up.

Similarly then, the eremitical vocation therefore says that solitude is not the same as isolation. In a world characterized by isolation and, to a tremendous degree, the fear that life is essentially meaningless, especially when we find ourselves alone (Merton used to speak about the terror of boredom and futility), my vocation speaks directly to that and says, "Not so!" In a world where folks seem to feel like exiles and be in search of relationships which allow them to be loved and to feel as though they belong, the hermit reminds us that God loves us, holds us to be infinitely precious, and transforms us into persons who CAN love others as well as ourselves. We say with our lives of eremitical solitude that belonging begins with this fundamental relationship and from there extends to family, Church, world at large, and even cosmos. Because we are at home with God and with ourselves, we know that we can be at and make our home anywhere; we can recognize and empathize with others who may feel or be alienated and call them brother or sister precisely because we are in communion with God. One of the reasons I stress the ecclesial nature of the consecrated eremitical vocation in the church is precisely because this stands in such stark and prophetic contrast to more worldly versions of eremitical life which are essentially individualistic and estranged.

Exile is a central category for understanding the eremitical life. In fact, hermits voluntarily embrace exile, a life of distinct alienness and marginality precisely so they can witness to the more profound belonging that characterizes every life in union with God. This dynamic of exile and more profound belonging seems to me to be quintessentially typical of the prophetic life. And of course this is important because life as we know it is a pilgrimage in which we are each exiles to greater and lesser degrees. Whether it is through experiences of acute or chronic illness, betrayal or bereavement, failures in work or studies, loss of friendships or any of the 1000's of things which set us apart from others every day of our lives including, sometimes, our prayer and yearning for God, we know deep down that we are not truly at home and that we are made for something else, something more, something which completes us and gives us rest. Through her voluntary exile and all that characterizes it the hermit witnesses to this something more and to the completion and rest that is ours in God alone. There is no doubt in my mind that this is a prophetic word the world needs to hear.

At the foundation of all of this is the hermit's prayer and penance which she undertakes for God's own sake. God wills to be the answer to the question we are, the completion of a love which seeks fulfillment in another, the rest which comes of truly being heard --- and therefore, truly being precious to and part of God's very life. God seeks through us to transform and bring to completion the creation we are and in which we now live. He seeks to make of it a new creation where heaven and earth entirely interpenetrate one another; He seeks, in other words, to be all in all. If we are aware of the pain, isolation, desperate search for meaning, and struggle of those around us, we must also be aware that our God has revealed himself to us as Emmanuel, God-with-us, but is prevented from realizing this goal at every turn. While Christ was God's unique counterpart, God also seeks in each of us a counterpart to receive and return his love so that he might be Emmanuel more extensively. A hermit gives her life so that she might truly be there for God in at least this small way. She does so so in union with Christ and empowered by the Holy Spirit so that one day, there will be a new heaven and new earth whose heart is life in communion-with-God. It seems to me this is and has always been the very essence of the prophet's work and commission.

By the way, your comments on prophets and the freshness, newness, and excitement of the prophet's life deserve some comment too but, unfortunately, I have to leave this here. For now let me say that so long as God --- who is always new (God could not be eternal otherwise) --- is at the center of our lives, the freshness, newness and excitement you mentioned will be there too. While we might not commonly associate these words with contemplative lives of prayer and penance, this is the reason such persons are so essentially happy and sort of "unstoppable" if you know what I mean. Contemplative life and (I am bound to say) eremitical life in particular is an adventure --- no doubt about it! I suspect that people are in search of just such an adventure and, as I have already written in Always Beginners, the reason we almost compulsively seek the newest gadget, car, computer, smart phone, or become shopaholics and the like is because most often we have substituted the quest for the novel (Gk. nova, new in time) for that which is always qualitatively new in our lives (Gk. kainotes, kainos), namely a relationship with the creator God in whom all newness is rooted, a communion with that Love-in-Act who makes all things new. In this too hermits (and anyone who makes a vow or embraces the value of evangelical poverty) serve as a prophetic presence and speak a prophetic word to our world.

Please note that I have written about all of these things in the past so I am aware that much of this post is repetitive; I have simply not tended to link them to the word prophetic so, thank you (along with Pope Francis' Apostolic Letter) for providing the opportunity to do that.

Religious Should Never Abandon Prophecy!

In Pope Francis' Apostolic Letter to Consecrated Persons, in the section devoted to his expectations from this year of grace for consecrated life, Francis writes,

"I am counting on you to wake up the world", since the distinctive sign of consecrated life is prophecy." He continues, "As I told the Superiors General: Radical evangelical living is not only for religious; it is demanded of everyone. But religious follow the Lord in a special way, a prophetic way." This is the priority that is needed right now: "to be prophets who witness to how Jesus lived on the earth. . .a religious must never abandon prophecy".  

And further: [[Prophets receive from God the ability to scrutinize the times in which they live and to interpret events: they are like sentinels who keep watch in the night and sense the coming of the dawn (cf. Is 21:11-12). Prophets know God and they know the men and women who are their brothers and sisters. They are able to discern and denounce the evil of sin and injustice. Because they are free, they are beholden to no one but God, and they have no interest other than God. Prophets tend to be on the side of the poor and the powerless, for they know that God himself is on their side.

So I trust that, rather than living in some utopia, you will find ways to create “alternate spaces”, where the Gospel approach of self-giving, fraternity, embracing differences, and love of one another can thrive. Monasteries, communities, centres of spirituality, schools, hospitals, family shelters – all these are places which the charity and creativity born of your charisms have brought into being, and with constant creativity must continue to bring into being. They should increasingly be the leaven for a society inspired by the Gospel, a “city on a hill”, which testifies to the truth and the power of Jesus’ words.

At times, like Elijah and Jonah, you may feel the temptation to flee, to abandon the task of being a prophet because it is too demanding, wearisome or apparently fruitless. But prophets know that they are never alone. As he did with Jeremiah, so God encourages us: “Be not afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you” (Jer 1:8).]]

The occasion of this year is the 50th anniversary of the publication of the Dogmatic Constitution on the Church, Lumen Gentium as well as of the Decree Perfectae Caritatis. These documents have driven the reform and return to the sources which has characterized religious life for the past 50 years. Both the implementation of these documents as well as the accent on being a prophetic presence in the world has met with much criticism of late so it is refreshing to have Pope Francis renew an official recognition of these underpinnings of  the dynamic of contemporary religious life.

As a hermit it is clear to me that Pope Francis esteems all forms of consecrated life, but I strained a bit to hear any reference to eremitical life or the charismatic witness consecrated hermits give in our world. That is really not surprising given the brevity and general focus of the document. I do think it is important for diocesan hermits to reflect on the various expectations Francis outlines as having of religious and of this year: 1) That the old saying will always be true, "Where there are religious, there is joy", 2) that we wake up the world because the distinctive sign of our vocations is prophecy, 3) that we truly be "experts in communion" and make the Church the home and school of communion, 4) to come out of ourselves and go forth to the existential peripheries, (hermits do this in a unique way but this and #3 are especially important in making sure we are not living isolation but rather the silence of solitude which is a covenantal and even a communal reality lived for the sake of others).

And 5) that each form of consecrated life will ask themselves what God and people today are asking of them. For the hermit, whose life of 'the silence of solitude' is to be a gift lived out on behalf of others, this remains a critical question no emphasis on union with God allows us to cease asking. I would argue, in fact, that union with God and an emphasis on the "unitive way," requires this question always be asked and even gives it greater impetus and urgency because God is the ground and source of all that exists as well as the Love-in-Act that binds all together in Love. To the extent we are truly in the 'unitive way' we will find ourselves called by God to love others in concrete, substantial ways as well --- just as the Love of God spills over naturally in creation, covenant, consolation, and completion. We will never be able to cease asking ourselves what others ask of and need from us.

As Francis also writes: [[Only by such concern for the needs of the world, and by docility to the promptings of the Spirit, will this Year of Consecrated Life become an authentic kairos, a time rich in God’s grace, a time of transformation.]] This is as undeniably true for the eremitical life as it is for any other form of consecrated life!

Year of Consecrated Life Has Begun!

Year of Consecrated Life begins; Pope issues apostolic letter

The Year of Consecrated Life began on November 30 with a Mass celebrated by Cardinal João Braz de Aviz in St. Peter’s Basilica. The prefect of the Congregation for Institutes of Consecrated Life and Societies of Apostolic Life took the place of Pope Francis, who was in Istanbul on the final day of his apostolic journey to Turkey.

The Mass was preceded by a November 29 prayer vigil at the Basilica of Santa Maria Maggiore and by the November 28 release of an apostolic letter by the Pontiff to all consecrated persons-- that is, those who have made vows of chastity, poverty, and obedience. The year will conclude on February 2, 2016.

In his apostolic letter, Pope Francis said that the year’s aims are “to look to the past with gratitude,” “to live the present with passion,” and “to embrace the future with hope.” He stated:

The question we have to ask ourselves during this Year is if and how we too are open to being challenged by the Gospel; whether the Gospel is truly the “manual” for our daily living and the decisions we are called to make. The Gospel is demanding: it demands to be lived radically and sincerely. It is not enough to read it (even though the reading and study of Scripture is essential), nor is it enough to meditate on it (which we do joyfully each day). Jesus asks us to practice it, to put his words into effect in our lives.

Once again, we have to ask ourselves: Is Jesus really our first and only love, as we promised he would be when we professed our vows? Only if he is, will we be empowered to love, in truth and mercy, every person who crosses our path. For we will have learned from Jesus the meaning and practice of love. We will be able to love because we have his own heart.

Our founders and foundresses shared in Jesus’ own compassion when he saw the crowds who were like sheep without a shepherd. Like Jesus, who compassionately spoke his gracious word, healed the sick, gave bread to the hungry and offered his own life in sacrifice, so our founders and foundresses sought in different ways to be the service of all those to whom the Spirit sent them. They did so by their prayers of intercession, their preaching of the Gospel, their works of catechesis, education, their service to the poor and the infirm… The creativity of charity is boundless; it is able to find countless new ways of bringing the newness of the Gospel to every culture and every corner of society.

The Year of Consecrated Life challenges us to examine our fidelity to the mission entrusted to us. Are our ministries, our works and our presence consonant with what the Spirit asked of our founders and foundresses? Are they suitable for carrying out today, in society and the Church, those same ministries and works? Do we have the same passion for our people, are we close to them to the point of sharing in their joys and sorrows, thus truly understanding their needs and helping to respond to them?

The Pontiff also called upon the consecrated to be joyful and prophetic witnesses and “experts in communion.”

“I also expect from you what I have asked all the members of the Church: to come out of yourselves and go forth to the existential peripheries,” he added. “‘Go into all the world’; these were the last words which Jesus spoke to his followers and which he continues to address to us (cf. Mk 16:15). A whole world awaits us: men and women who have lost all hope, families in difficulty, abandoned children, young people without a future, the elderly, sick and abandoned, those who are rich in the world’s goods but impoverished within, men and women looking for a purpose in life, thirsting for the divine.”

“Don’t be closed in on yourselves, don’t be stifled by petty squabbles, don’t remain a hostage to your own problems,” he continued. “These will be resolved if you go forth and help others to resolve their own problems, and proclaim the Good News. You will find life by giving life, hope by giving hope, love by giving love.”

For a printable copy of the letter, please go to: Francis' Apostolic Letter to Consecrated Persons on the Occasion of the Year of Consecrated Life

A New Heaven and a New Earth: God With Us

In Friday's reading from Revelation we heard John's vision for the future, a vision that might be really different than that which many of us have entertained over the years of our faith, and yet it is a profoundly Christian vision and one which is meant to carry us into and through Advent.

Now, there is no doubt that Revelation is a difficult book, and not one most Catholics (nor many mainline Protestants for that matter) have sat down to read. It is filled with imagery that needs to be decoded for us; the theology has been connected to cultic movements, some of them quite destructive, books about rapture and the antiChrist (despite the fact that neither word appears in Revelation), and generally associated with something very far from that of the other canonical books of the Bible. Critics have referred to its author as a drug addict, characterized its theology as that of a slaughtering Christ, spoken of its inclusion in the canon as an evil, and in less critical moments pointed out that at the very least it requires a revelation to decode it.

But if we think of the Bible as a library of books we might be surprised to find that Genesis and Revelation begin and end a great deal of history with very similar visions. Genesis begins with a view of God and human beings dwelling together in a garden. They walk together and it is only human sin that alienates human beings from this state. Today we read this text in two ways: 1) synchronically as a narrative about the original nature of the human/divine relationship and vision of the nature of earthly existence, and 2) diachronically as a vision of what human beings are therefore made for and what a renewed heaven and earth will one day look like. In Revelation, difficult and confusing details aside, John (et al) gives us a vision of an ultimate new creation, a "new heaven and a new earth" where "God is all in all" and death and sin are destroyed. God and human beings exist in communion with one another and God is revealed as God with us in the fullest sense.

The theme of "God with us" and the idea that this is truly the will of God occurs again and again throughout the Old and New Testament Scriptures. In Exodus God writes his law on the hearts of his people and gives them the Law -- a sign of the covenant between them, the covenant where God's faithfulness always means God is with his People in ways limited only by human sinfulness. God gives them explicit and detailed instructions on constructing the Tabernacle ("mishkan") a symbol of his dwelling (tabernacle or mishkan means dwelling) with his people in a way which allows his Shekinah or glory be revealed.

Similar instructions are given for the construction of the Temple in which heaven and earth meet and heaven (wherever God's sovereign presence is shared with and by others) interpenetrates our world. In his definitive revelation in Christ, Jesus, the new Temple of God, the One who penetrates the realms of sin and death and breaks down  the boundaries between sacred and profane, is explicitly named Emmanuel or God With Us. In the sending of the Spirit we are given a consoler so that God may be with us in a new and pervasive way while in the Church, her Eucharist and other Sacraments God reveals himself again and again as the One who would be God-With-Us. The Incarnation is not God's bandaid solution to the problem of human sin (though it does effectively deal with sin) but the definitive act in which God is revealed (made known and made real) in space and time as Emmanuel.

John's vision of a new heaven and a new earth in which God and human beings dwell in union with one another, where God is all in all, is not a vision we are used to imagining. We are more used to thinking in terms of dying, going to heaven and eventually being re-embodied in a resurrection there in heaven. But throughout our Scriptures the theme of creation and recreation, the remaking of heaven and earth into a single reality and a God whose will is to dwell with us, "walking side by side" with us (as is celebrated in Genesis' poetic imagery) recurs again and again.

Our own move into Advent invites us to open ourselves and our imaginations to God doing something new (kaine or qualitatively new!!) --- something beyond the historical Jesus we look back to, or even the risen Christ we know now. It is an invitation to share John's vision in Revelation and imagine the complete destruction of sin and death that was begun in Nazareth so long ago as well as our world's ultimate fulfillment in God's final act of new creation in Christ. Imagine a Kingdom in which human beings have a dwelling place in God's own heart while God as Love-in-Act is entirely at home in our own transfigured and glorified world. This, after all is John's great vision in Revelation and the image the Church gives us the day before we begin our Advent period of waiting and preparation. It is the vision Israel placed at the beginning of the OT as they characterized God as present and walking hand in hand with Adam and Even in the Garden. With this in mind, I would encourage folks to open themselves throughout Advent more and more to a new way of seeing reality, a new vision that is not only genuinely sacramental and sees reality as it is now, but, because God reveals his very nature and will as Emmanuel, also imagines reality's promised future which culminates in a new heaven and a new earth, a future in which God will be God-with-us in an exhaustive way.

Recommendations for Advent reading:

Elizabeth Johnson CSJ's Ask the Beasts, Darwin and the God of Love (The second part of the book is especially recommended but the whole is wonderful)

Ilia Delio, OSF, From Teilhard to Omega, Co-creating an Unfinished Universe

Advent 1: In What Story Will we Stand? (Reprise)

A Poignant Conversation

Last week I spoke to a friend I haven't seen in a number of years. She has Alzheimer's and now lives in a different state. We have known each other since the early 80's  when we were both working with the same spiritual director and sometimes stayed at the Center for dinner or made retreat together. Today Denise remembers that time clearly as a watershed period of her life and it is a complete joy for her to talk about it. Doing so is part of what allows her to remain a hopeful and faithful person. It is a major part of her ability to remain herself. But her capacity for story has been crippled and to some extent reduced by her illness.

We are Made for Story

For me this conversation helped underscore a deep truth of our existence. Human beings are made for story. Story is an inescapable part of being truly human and we are diminished without it. It is not only a profound need within us but a drive which affects everything we are and do. Nothing happens without story. Nothing significant that happens in our life is unmediated by story.  When scientists reflect on and research this truth, they conclude we are hardwired for story. Neuroscientists have even located a portion of the brain which is dedicated to spinning stories. This portion of our brain sometimes functions to "console" and compensate one for the loss of story in brain disorders (amnesia, for instance) and I sometimes hear it at work in my friend Denise as she fills in the holes in her own memory for herself; but it is implicated in our quest for connection, context, and meaning in all its forms.

Thus scientists explain that story is actually the way we think, the way we relate to and process reality, the way we make sense of things and get our own hearts and minds around them. Whenever we run into something we don't understand or cannot control --- something we need to hold together in a meaningful way we invariably weave a story around it. Children do it with their dolls and crayons; Abused children do it and often have to be helped in later life to let go of these so they may embrace their place in a better, truer story. Physicians do it when they determine diagnoses and prognoses. Historians do it in explaining the significance of events. Scientists spin stories to explain the nature of reality. The complex stories they author are called theories. Like the myths of religious traditions, these narratives often possess a profound explanatory power and truth. They work to allow the development of technology, medicine, and the whole of the sciences, but they are stories nonetheless. And of course, gossips, know-it-alls and scam artists of all sorts routinely spin stories to draw us in and exploit our capacity and hunger for story.

We all know that stories are essential to our humanity.  At their best they help create a context, a sacred space and healing dynamic where we can be ourselves and stand authentically with others: Thus, when someone we love dies it is natural (human!) and even essential that we gather together to tell stories which help reknit the broken threads of our story into something new and hopeful, something which carries us into a future with promise. In a way which is similarly healing and lifegiving we offer strangers places in our own stories and make neighbors of them. We do the same with friends. Ideally, there is no greater gift we can give another than a place in our own stories, no greater compassion than our empathy for and appreciation of another's entire story. For good and ill our humanity is integrally linked to the fact that we are made for story. We reside and find rest within stories; they connect us to others. They are vehicles of transcendence which make sense of the past and draw us into the future. They link us to our culture, our families, our communities, our faith, and our church; without them we are left bereft of identity or place and our lives are empty and meaningless. 

We have only to look at the place story holds in our life in the Church to appreciate this. The creed we profess is not a series of disparate beliefs or dogmas but a coherent story we embrace more fully every time we repeat it and affirm "I believe" this. Our liturgy of the Word is centered on stories of all sorts --- challenging, inspiring, consoling us as only stories can do. Even the act of consecration is accomplished by telling a story we recount and embrace in our "Amen" of faith: "On the night he was betrayed, Jesus took bread, blessed and broke it saying. . . then he took the cup, blessed it saying. . .]] Stories like these, we know, provide the context and overarching narrative in which all things ultimately hold together and are meaningful.They make whole and holy. For this reason we yearn for them and honor them as sacred.

Our Capacity for Story is Both Blessing and Curse 

Augustine summarized all of this when he said, "O God, we are made for thee, and our hearts are restless until they rest in thee." He might well have said."O God your story is our own and our hearts are restless until they finally reside securely in that story". Just like physicists who are searching for that one theory of everything, we are each made for and in search of the story which makes complete and ultimate sense of our lives, the story which allows us to develop our own personal stories fully, the narrative framework which lets us be completely and exhaustively human. Christians recognize this blessed story as the Kingdom of God, God's own story.The challenge for each of us, I think, is to make this story our own. The problem? We already reside rather securely in other stories, other controlling narratives and myths. Because of our capacity and even our hunger for story our lives are full of scripts and tapes which conflict with the story we are offered in Christ. Some seem lifegiving but many do not serve us very well at all.

 For instance, when young persons opt to join a gang, they are choosing a particular story of status, community, belonging, power as opposed to powerlessness, and a place in a world which seems larger and more adult than the one they occupy already. Unless these things are distorted into badges of courage and achievement the narrative omits prison, death, the sundering of family relationships, loss of education, future, and so forth. Another example: when adults choose to have affairs they are buying into a story they tell themselves (and our culture colludes with this at every point) about freedom and love, youth, immediate gratification, sexuality and attractiveness. The part of the narrative they leave out or downplay is the part of the story we are each called to tell with our lives about personal integrity, commitment,  faithfulness, patience, and all the other things that constitute real love and humanity. 

What we are seeing here is the very essence of sin. It is no coincidence that the Genesis account of humanity's fall from "grace" (which is really a place in God's own life or "story") centers around the fact that at evil's urging Adam and Eve swap the story God tells them about themselves, their world, and their place in it for another one they prefer to believe. In THIS story eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil will not bring death; in THIS story God is a liar; in this story humanity grasps at godhead and lives forever anyway. So many of the scripts and tapes we have adopted are as distorted and destructive and they touch every part of our lives. Two of the most recent I heard are, "The poor are takers" and "Selfishness is a moral imperative and the key to the common good." But there are many others! Scripts about what real men and women do or don't do --- both in society and in our church --- about what freedom is, divine justice, what is required to gain God's love (despite the fact God gives it freely to anyone who will simply accept it), etc. As sinful human beings we are an ambiguous mixture of stories which make us true and those which stunt or distort us. Our capacity for story is both blessing and curse.

Story is also the way Home

If our capacity for story is both blessing and curse then it is also the way home. In particular the stories Jesus tells us are a primary way home. Jesus' parables are, in fact, one of the ways he works miracles. (If anyone --- even Webster's Dictionary --- ever tells you these parables are "simple religious stories with a moral" don't believe them! They are far more dynamic and dangerous than that!) Like every story, Jesus' parables draw us in completely, allow us to suspend disbelief, check our overly critical voices at the door, and listen with our hearts as well as our intellects. They create a sacred space in which we are alone with God and can meet ourselves and God face to face. No one can enter this space with us even if there are hundreds standing shoulder to shoulder listening to the same story. But Jesus' stories do more. As I have written here before: [[ When Jesus told parables, for instance, he did so for two related reasons: first, to identify and subvert some of the less than authentic controlling myths people had adopted as their own, and second to offer the opportunity to make a choice for an alternative story by which one could live an authentically human and holy life.

Parables, Jesus' parables that is, typically throw down two sets of values; two perspectives [or stories] are cast down beside one another (para = alongside, and balein = to throw down). One set represents the Kingdom of God; one the kingdom where God is not sovereign --- the realm the Church has sometimes called "the world". Because our feet are firmly planted in the first set of values, [the first set of stories or scripts], the resulting clash disorients us and throws us off balance; it is unexpected and while first freeing us to some extent from our embeddedness (or enmeshment) in other narratives, it creates a moment of "KRISIS" or decision and summons us to choose where we will finally put our feet down again, which reality we will stand firmly in and inhabit, which story will define us, which sovereign will author and rule us. ]] 

Will we affirm the status quo, the normal cultural, societal, personal, or even some of the inadequate religious narratives we cling to, or will we instead allow our minds and hearts to be remade and adopt God's own story as our own? Who will author us? Will it be the dominant culture, or the God who relativizes and redeems it? Where indeed will we put our feet down? In which story will we choose to walk and with whom? These are clearly the questions that face us during this season of Advent as we prepare our hearts for Christmas and a God who tells us his story in a most unexpected way.The fresh cycle of readings are an invitation to approach God's story with fresh ears and a willingness to have our lives reshaped accordingly. It is the story we are made and hunger for, the story in which we are made true and whole, the story in which nothing authentic of our lives is ever lost or forgotten. What greater gift can we imagine or be given?

Update, Dominican Sisters of Iraq

Sisters in Happier Days, 2013

Dear all,

After four months of exile there are no signs of hope that the situation here in Iraq will be resolved peacefully.  Unable to think or make decisions, everything is vague and we feel as if we have been living a nightmare.  Christianity in Iraq is bleeding; so many families have left, and many are leaving to Lebanon, Jordan, and Turkey, preparing themselves for second immigration and an uncertain future.  We know not how long these families will be able to tolerate the burden and survive financially. 

The conditions remain the same for those of us in Iraq.  Many still are forced to stay in unfinished buildings on construction sites. In one place, a mall has been remodeled to accommodate families, with the hall divided merely with partitions. Although they are better than tents, they resemble dark, damp cages with no ventilation.   Most difficult of all is the lack of privacy.
  

There have been some attempts to provide containers and rent houses and flats, but this is not enough as the number of displaced people increases each day.  Many come from cold mountainous places. Psychologically, people are tired, worried, confused, and irritated –who would blame them? They are jobless, their children do not attend school, and young people are still waiting to start their academic year at the university –some tried to register at Kurdish Universities, but they were not accepted. All this is causing tremendous strain on the families, and the result is abuse and relationships that are unhealthy.  The problems are totally overwhelming, and it seems as if our efforts are amounting to nothing.

People have been stripped of their dignity and unjustly deprived of all their money and possessions. What money people do have cannot be withdrawn from banks as the central government has frozen their accounts. Moreover, some people desperately look for work, ready to labour for minimum wage.

Despite this, things would be much worse if it were not for the aide we have received from you and the many benefactors who have contributed what they can.

Thank you. Indeed, we are so grateful to you, and we have tried to help as many people as we can with these donations. Our focus has not been on the refugee centers and camps, as refugees at these centers are supported by the organization and the church. Rather we are trying to help those families who rent houses, but cannot support themselves. So we help them by providing bedding and clothing.

As for our community, we are extremely exhausted with concern for the family and friends we have who are unjustly forced to leave us.  Everyday we hope that tomorrow will be better, but our tomorrows seem to bring only more tears and hardship. Out of the depths we cry to Thee, Oh Lord!  When will you rescue us!

We desperately count on your prayers, and we need you carry us to Jesus like the men who brought the paralytic to Jesus.

God bless you,

Of St. Catherine of Siena –Iraq. 

Followup, The Sisterhood

 Well, I have to say that so far and much to my own surprise I am relatively impressed with the program. The Sisters are doing just what one would expect of contemporary women religious and we are seeing the clash of worlds that is so much a part of the vocation crisis today. Yet while the drama is, to some extent contrived and stereotypical, and while so much of the hype betrays a woeful lack of understanding of the nature of becoming a Sister (these young women are emphatically NOT Sisters (or nuns)-in-training, nor are they discerning a call to religious life; they are discerning WHETHER to discern a vocation WITH a congregation!!) some of it is quite compelling and important.

The "makeup meltdown" was one of those moments, I thought, because it underscored so much about what religious life seeks to witness to in contrast to "the world" of masks, lack of transparency, insecurity, and the struggle to love self as well as others, etc. In what consists real confidence? How do we let go of our fear of others' judgments, etc. How do we minister to others as those with our own sometimes visible defects, etc? I also thought the way Sister Mark handled the matter was good; she set the standard in a straightforward unequivocal way and pointed out that subsequently they would deal with matters as they came. (I thought her explanation of why the rule re makeup was imposed could have been a lot better and more substantive, but it seemed the pressures of the situation with cameras, Francesca's surprising and emotional response, and the need to keep things simple (as in sound bite accessible) caused her to struggle a bit to find the words.) Meanwhile, Francesca is a physically beautiful young woman; her acne doesn't change that and it certainly doesn't touch her inner beauty. If, in place of a deep insecurity regarding her appearance and the judgment of others, she can take away a sense of a much deeper security rooted in the love of a God who delights in us and calls us "imago dei" just as we are, that alone could make the series worth it.

After a night's sleep (I went to bed immediately after seeing the show which was on late here on the West Coast), what has stayed with me re the Sisterhood are the more positive aspects, and especially the overall dynamic of Sisters' authenticity vs the inauthenticity of so much of the culture which is resistant to or at least relatively naïve of Christ and integral faith in God. (That, by the way, includes inauthenticity framed in terms of certain forms of piety as well.) In this regard I especially liked Marie Therese's comment about traditionalism and concerns with whether or not such persons can pray with and otherwise minister effectively to those who are different than they. In that I think she had her finger on the most neuralgic problem of traditionalism, namely the relative inability of those holding this form of faith to evangelize rather than to proselytize.

I very much disliked the stereotypical approach to entering the convent because one has "trust issues with men". This is such a cliché! But I am also quite sure that many young persons will mistakenly perceive the world of religious life as the undemanding safe haven Eleni did. Certainly versions of this are operative in young adults who, before they have had time to explore anything else, occasionally seek to become hermits! It must be far more prevalent in those seeking to enter life in community. The character (Claire?) pronouncing on the prayer experiences of others or pretending to a theological and experiential sophistication in these matters made me both wince and smile. Hopefully she will outgrow this tendency. Meanwhile, I think Stacey most impressed me as having the potential to become a religious one day because of her (apparent) honesty and maturity. It may have been Sister Maria Therese (turns out it was Sister Cyril) who characterized her as comfortable in her own skin. While the process of this initial "come and see" experience will stretch her, she seems to me to be the only one truly comfortable in her own skin and that is a good place to start in approaching religious life! (If, of course, I can believe anything of what Lifetime is showing me here.)

Of all the characters, I found Christie to be the most obnoxious --- despite (or maybe because of) the fact that I resonate personally with the nuptial or 'Bride of Christ' imagery. Her references to Jesus as some sort of super lover or flirting boyfriend ("Whoa, Jesus, whoa! or, "Jesus is the best boyfriend/lover ever!"), etc,  really grated. (The same is only somewhat less true of Stacey's Surfer Dude Jesus.) Unfortunately, I think these images reflect an insufficiently eschatological, overly romanticized and even eroticized image of spousality in consecrated life which many CV's have naively embraced and witness to today. It is one which most religious have rejected, not because they necessarily reject the entire idea of being spouse of Christ but because the language, imagery, and other trappings which accompanied that iconic identity for so long actually distorted it. But Christie is young and spiritually naïve too; she can and hopefully will outgrow this as her relationship with Christ and her own sexuality (which involves a healthy and mature celibate expression for religious) and capacity for love matures --- unless of course, she is really just an actress  playing a stereotypical part --- who knows? It is unlikely to happen in six weeks though -- even if she is not simply playing a part in a TV show.

So, my overall evaluation of the show? A definite, if restrained, thumbs up and a commitment to watch other episodes to see how this really goes. It has genuine potential --- not least in its capacity to start conversations as folks seek to ask real Sisters and Nuns questions about religious life and the more usual and realistic process of discerning a religious call along with discussions re the difference between 'come and see' periods like this and actual formation. I also think the show thus has the potential to bring Sisters together in bridge-building ways that might not have occurred otherwise! Sisters are watching the show and are open to the conversations it can open up. I hope young people in particular take advantage of the opportunities this creates!

Followup on Hermit Formation

[[Dear Sister, Thank you so very much for your thoughtful and detailed response to my question.(cf., Questions on Formation) I suppose the one thing I fret about the most is my prayer life. I believe I have found a rich but simple way to pray that incorporates lectio and the psalter. It's modelled on the Liturgy of the Hours but is very simple. I find it very life giving. Part of what I like about it is its simplicity, ease of use and flexibility: For example here is what Morning Prayer looks like.... O God, come to my assistance etc. , Psalm 95 (Invitatory) Hymn (Usually the Eastern Orthodox "O Heavenly King" prayer to the Holy Spirit). Three Psalms (I pray 3 psalms, in order, at each office). 1 chapter from the OT and one from the NT. Contemplative/Intercessory Prayer, Our Father, Hail Mary, Benedictus, Closing collect (usually collect of the day from the Missal).  Evening prayer is similar except it has the Examination of conscience, Magnificat etc. I do keep track of feast days and the liturgical seasons as well.  [A reference to Compline was excerpted here]

On "hermit days" (days I can live in total solitude, like Saturdays and Sundays, because I still work in the world) I also pray the Angelus, Rosary and do other spiritual reading and journaling (in addition to exercise and some physical labour). Morning, Evening and night prayer are my foundations no matter what. I also spend long periods of the holidays and summers in solitude (I'm a teacher). As you can see, slowly but surely a rhythm of life is emerging as I experiment with this life and grow in it. I'm sorry if this email is long winded but I was hoping you could answer a few questions for me...

1) Do you think what I've described is an effective way to pray as a hermit (at least formally as your really praying all day)? This has become a very small point of disagreement between me and my director. He keeps saying I should pray the official LOTH. I tell him that I respect it but the mechanics of it drives me nuts. I like praying the full Psalms uninterrupted, I like that my prayer isn't constantly interrupted by flipping and rubrics etc. I like that when I pray I come before The Lord with just my Bible and before an icon of Him and Our Lady I pray in simplicity. I wonder that if God calls me to this life that I'll have to abandon this form of prayer for the LOTH. I know obedience is essential, but do you think that hermits are allowed to pray more freely than diocesan priests and religious? I know many monastic communities have crafted their own version of the office. Thoughts, advice and insights on this are greatly appreciated. ]]

First, I am glad my last post (cf., Questions on Formation) was of assistance to you. Many thanks as well for permission to post your response with its set of questions and especially some of the description of how you are proceeding in embracing the eremitical life more and more. I think they can be helpful to others who are looking for ways to do something similar.

On the Phrase "Still work in the world":

Before I move on to your questions though, allow me one quibble with your use of the term "the world" as in "I still work in the world." There are some "hermitages" (or putative hermitages!) that are every bit as much or more "the world" than the region you are describing. Remember that "the world" in the pejorative sense, the sense that canon law primarily refers to with c 603's,"stricter separation from the world" or the sense monastic mainly mean when they refer to fuga mundi (flight from the world), as well as the meaning of the term in the early Greek and/or Desert Fathers, was not the world as a whole (which they saw as God's good creation), nor even the populated world (which was ambiguous though essentially good), but rather, "that which is resistant to Christ."

I have written about this before, but let me quote from a commentary on John Climacus' Ladder. Climacus is quite strict in his approach to solitude but he can also be misunderstood when read literally and unhistorically. Thus, Vassilios Papavassiliou writes: "In this sense, 'the world' means all those things that are opposed to Christ and to our salvation. The world in the sense of God's creation is good, and we are all (even those living monastic life) a part of it. However remote monasteries or hermitages may be, all monastics lie beneath the same sun and moon, breathe the same air, and share the soil and the fruits of the earth with all humanity . . . There can be no ascetic life, no true spirituality of we are not willing to break with the world in terms of what we hold dear and what constitutes the focus of our lives. .  ." (Thirty Steps to Heaven, The Ladder of Divine Ascent for all Walks of Life, Ancient Faith Publishing, 2013) Canonists reflecting on the canons on religious life say something very similar in the Handbook on Canons 573-746: "'The world' is that which is unredeemed and resistant to Christ."

If you get in the habit of referring to everything outside your own home as "the world" you will be buying into a false dichotomy which idealizes your own physical space and demonizes that which is other while you also neglect the fact that "the world" in the pejorative sense is more primarily a matter of the heart and who has a claim on that than it is a reference to a geographical region. Moreover you will be setting yourself up for a spiritual elitism which is incapable of perceiving the inbreaking of the Kingdom in the unexpected or unacceptable place --- the very thing that happened to the Pharisees and led to Jesus' crucifixion --- or of standing in solidarity with others outside your home.

Similarly you will be viewing a world which is essentially and always potentially sacramental through a lens which prevents us from seeing that clearly. Finally, you will be at least subtly encouraging yourself to refrain from or avoid the conversion necessary to allow God's love to overcome the resistances within your own heart --- the most persistent and dangerous instances of "the world" any of us ever know. While I don't think you are guilty of this (I really can't know this) to shut the door of one's cell and to believe that one has thus effectively shut out "the world" is often merely a pernicious and arrogant deceit --- something that is one of the surest signs of a dangerously destructive worldliness. What is ordinarily much truer is that at best, we shut the door on the world out there so that, through the grace of God, we can do battle with the demons and world within us! Moreover, we do so in order to love our world and all that is precious to God into the wholeness for which it is made.

On the Way you are Praying, Strengths and Weaknesses:

Now, regarding the way you are praying, I think it has significant strengths and some weaknesses as well. At this point I think the strengths far outweigh the weaknesses, but you should be aware that could change in time, especially as your life in solitude matures, and you will need to be open to that. One primary rule in prayer is always to pray as you can, not as you can't and you are doing that. You are creating and living a rhythm which will structure your entire life in time, and you are integrating lectio (or at least you have allowed for the opportunity to integrate lectio) into your prayer. Within your praxis of LOH you are combining psalmody, intercession and contemplative prayer in what will become an effective invitation to transition from one to another in the whole of your life. Finally, you are finding practical ways to center your prayer life on Scripture. My evaluation of all of this is very favorable. You show you have spent time thinking about this and the fact that you are attending to your feelings as well is significant and positive.

The weaknesses I mentioned are the result of the lack of variation in your office. You see, the official LOH re-enacts the rhythm from creation to death to resurrection and recreation. It does this again and again every day, every week, and over the space of the liturgical year. The hymns change, the antiphons do the same so that they can serve to highlight the main themes of the hours and tie them together with the readings and the season as well. The psalms are chosen for their themes and their relation to the time of day, season, etc. Ordinarily the entire psalm is not used at a given hour because the entire psalm tends to reflect different moods, tones, and themes. (There is similar point to the way readings are chosen, not only to highlight a particular theme but to choose a pericope which is conducive to lectio --- something whole chapters may not do or be.)

The purpose of the LOH is not simply to get us through all 150 psalms each day or week as early approaches to the Work of God did in their effort to pray without ceasing and sanctify the day, but to sanctify and celebrate (make prayer of) all of the moments and moods of human life in light of the rhythm of God's history among us as we mark that each day and over longer periods via the liturgical calendar. The emphasis differs. If you continue to pray the stripped down Office you have described without eventually participating more and more in the official LOH (or in a version of that adopted by the Camaldolese, Franciscans, Dominicans, etc which also use several week cycles, varying hymns and antiphons, and include Night prayer which can be sung and memorized easily) you miss many opportunities for making the whole of your life a prayer which resonates with the Church's official prayer. While this is not apt to be a matter of obedience in the narrow sense of someone in authority telling you to do this or refusing to profess you, it is likely to be a matter of obedience in the broader and more profound sense of hearkening to God's voice as it comes to us in the Church's liturgical life.

It is true the LOH is not easy to learn, especially on one's own. A large part of learning to pray it has to do with aural memory and an inculcation of its various rhythms (sound, gesture, etc) all of which are best experienced in choir and in community. Though I regularly sing Office I miss praying it in community and am still reminded of that every time I pray it. Even so its complexities are indicative of its richness and its ability to speak to, console, challenge, and convert us in every moment and mood of our life. I suspect your director knows this and may be coming from this POV rather than another more superficial one.

At this point in time you do not necessarily need to change the way you are praying, but I would seriously suggest you find a 1 volume copy of the Office (a book called Christian Prayer which has very little flipping back and forth) to supplement your current praxis. (If and when you decide to do this your director can assist you in doing so in a way which respects both your preferences and the important diversity and richness of the LOH. In learning the use of the LOH you may find it challenges temperamental tendencies or strengths within you so be aware that your preferences may be rooted both in your response to God as well as in your personal insecurities and resistance to the movement of the Holy Spirit.) Remember that the diocesan hermit's prayer is not only personal but ecclesial and a participation in the Church's own prayer. The LOH is a formative reality, that is, it is one of the major ways the Church forms herself as a People at prayer by forming individuals in the rhythms and themes of her liturgical and Christocentric life.

That said though, let me point out that only priests are canonically required to pray the LOH. Religious (who are not clerics) are canonically obliged to pray the LOH according to proper law, that is according to the constitutions of their congregation (or in the hermit's case, the Rule approved by her Bishop). Some hermits I know (I know one presently) do not pray the Office at all (though I admit I do not personally understand how this can be the case). Others, myself included, use the Office book of a specific congregation. I use the Camaldolese office book (consisting mainly of Lauds and Vespers, though it also has Compline); I do so because it is entirely geared to singing the hours and the psalm tones used are both simple and musically interesting (unlike something like the Mundelein office book which I tried a few years ago and found musically tedious). For Vigils, however, I use the four volume LOH, as I do for Scripture readings. Others use Franciscan office books or those of some other tradition. They may supplement their Office book with collections of readings for Vigils like those books (Augustinian Press I think) used by the Camaldolese, etc.

Becoming a Hermit, some Nuts and Bolts:

[[(2) Is this how a rule is crafted and the embrace of this life takes place? I think that it would be very hard to go cold turkey and become a hermit overnight. I'm finding that my immersion into this life and the crafting of a rule is gradual process. Slowly I'm spending more days alone in prayer. I'm not being weird about it. I still have life giving friendships and I'm involved with my family and my parish but the putting on of this life is happening slowly. I'm 38 years old and I imagine as I discern more and more and live this life that there will come a time where I naturally embrace this life full time. I already see it happening by ensuring my weekends and holidays are "hermit days".

From this I see a rhythm emerging. I like to keep my prayer life/devotional life very simple (hence my simple prayer office). I think it was St. Benedict who lauded short and simple prayer. Is this how a rule is developed? And is this how the call to eremitic life discerned? More insights, thoughts and advice are greatly appreciated. Thank you so very much for your help. Your insights are gold as I try to figure out this thing the Lord may be calling me to. ]]

Yes, I think generally this is how a Rule comes to be crafted. Over time we pay attention to the things which are lifegiving for us, the ways in which God comes to us, the ways in which we truly give ourselves and allow our hearts to be opened and formed in the love of Christ, etc as well as to those things which are traditionally part of the eremitical life; we build those into our life or otherwise make provision for them in ways which are most advantageous for our growth and an integral obedience to God. As you probably already know, a Rule is not merely a list of do's and don'ts, nor a system of abstract principles or values. It is, in the language of canon 603, a Plan of Life, a plan for the way we can best live our God-given, God-willed lives in the fullest and most integral way possible. You seem to me to be approaching this in just the right way no matter what form of life it leads you to or eventually best expresses (the more definitive Rule or plan of life you eventually write --- for you will probably write several in the next years --- may or may not be an eremitical one).

At this point I would not say you are discerning an eremitical vocation so much as you are discerning the place of prayer and some (perhaps a significant amount of) solitude and silence in your life. Your "hermit" days are what are usually called "desert days" or "days of recollection" and active religious will also take such days. However, at  some point you may well make a relatively complete break with the life you live now and embrace one of the silence of solitude. But whether this is as a hermit or a contemplative religious or monastic, a dedicated lay person who enjoys the kind of non-eremitical solitude so many older and retired adults live today, etc, is still unclear, undecided, and untried. While it may be hard to go "cold turkey" and while one can and will certainly grow into this vocation, until one is living fulltime silence and solitude and has undertaken the renunciations and, to some extent, the obligations associated with an eremitical life, until, that is, one has spent time testing the true extent to which solitude has opened the door to one as a way to be one's truest and best self, I don't think one can speak of discerning an eremitical vocation per se.

You may have noticed the post on the new Lifetime series, "The Sisterhood". It has been billed as being about women discerning religious life. In actual fact they are discerning WHETHER to enter a congregation and mutually discern such a vocation with them. While one can see to what extent one feels immediately drawn to or repulsed by such a life by such experiences, until one actually enters the life, one is discerning something other than the life itself.  Until one risks losing oneself in a radical way on this solitary (or any other vocational) path neither will one be able to discover if it is what God is calling one to and thus, to 'find oneself' there. As you well know yourself, one can take education courses, work as a classroom aide and even substitute teach from time to time but unless and until one takes a fulltime job teaching for both discernment and critical formation, one does not know if one is truly called to it. Eventually one has to put it all on the line and take that job to see. Still,  I do think you are preparing and preparing well for eventually embracing the more radical break and risk required to enter into that particular discernment process at some point in time.

Overall then, I believe you are proceeding in just the right way and in the way you need to do for now. I am impressed with the way you are working on your prayer and penitential life and coming to know yourself (prayer, journaling, creation of a simple version of the LOH, commitment to spiritual direction, etc). More, I am very grateful that you would share this part of your journey here and allow me to comment on it. Thank you again.